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AIBU?

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Original poster

How do I survive summer?

32 replies

Summersad · 14/07/2024 11:07

I have 2 DS. The older has adhd and is a constant annoyance to the younger one which makes him shout, scream and cry. This happens many, MANY times a day. I’m already struggling financially so the options for days out are very limited. They wouldn’t be happy wit a simple day out to the beach or park. They’d rather go to extravagant places that end up costing £££ which I simply haven’t got right now.
their dad always takes them on wonderful days out though.
this behaviour only seems to be saved for me. They aren’t this bad when with their dad. With me, they fight, swear, are disrespectful and just awful to spend time with. Me and dad share custody equally.
how do I get through summer? How?! I’m absolutely dreading it.
I should add that I have a static caravan that i had planned to take them to on my days but the noise out of them is just embarrassing. We obviously have neighbours close by and the walls are very thin!

OP posts:
spriots · 14/07/2024 11:48

Mine are much easier to deal with if they get a good amount of physical activity - especially first thing.

Are there any sports things they can near you? Things we have done - a week of daily swimming lessons, 2 hour tennis camp, 2 hour football camp - then they are much more civilised and easier to handle in the afternoon

BingoMarieHeeler · 14/07/2024 11:48

You’ll have 50% of the holidays without them in which to have a bit of a breather. So maybe focus on that. Friends round? Sometimes that’s easier as they leave you alone for a bit. What ages are they? They’ll just have to get used to quieter days at home. The beach is a lovely day out! What don’t they like about that?

NoSquirrels · 14/07/2024 11:45

Plus, how do you know they don’t yell and annoy each other when they’re with their dad?

NoSquirrels · 14/07/2024 11:44

They don’t expect water parks from you though, do they? Because they know you can’t afford it. That’s on Dad’s time.

How old are they? And have they always fought and yelled or is it more recent?

Thelnebriati · 14/07/2024 11:42

Then you have to take control - guide them by offering a choice of two or 3 activities.

Original poster
Summersad · 14/07/2024 11:35

Thelnebriati · 14/07/2024 11:28

You can't compete with their Dad so stop trying. They've learned to be passively entertained, thats why they are dissatisfied and end up arguing.

Ask them if there is anything they would like to do and look at activities, not experiences. Try to find something they can engage with.

I don’t try to compete. There’s no point as I simply can’t.
when I ask them what they want to do it’s always theme parks or water parks or something equally expensive. They’ve come to expect that that is what weekends and school holidays are all about

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 14/07/2024 11:28

You can't compete with their Dad so stop trying. They've learned to be passively entertained, thats why they are dissatisfied and end up arguing.

Ask them if there is anything they would like to do and look at activities, not experiences. Try to find something they can engage with.