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Original poster

Money on maternity leave

35 replies

LA1311 · 14/07/2024 07:00

I’m currently half way through my years maternity leave. I’m really lucky that my workplace pay full pay for 9 months and then half pay for the last 3 months.

My partner earns double my wages and we have argued about money in the past.

We decided that we should put our child tax credits into a bank account and use it for when we needed to make bigger purchases.

We pay for nappies, milk etc 50/50, and then I pay for his baby classes and anything else we do in the week (swimming, soft play etc).

I mentioned to my partner the other day that my wages are reducing soon and I asked if he would pay for the baby classes. It will cost £95 for the time on I’m on reduced pay. He said that we should use the money out of the child tax credits for those payments whilst I can’t pay.

AIBU to be annoyed at this, that I’ve paid for everything and now I’ve asked him to pay he wants to use the savings.

OP posts:
Didimum · 14/07/2024 07:41

It’s very concerning your partner views his money this way. I would be having a serious sit down discussion with him. It’s difficult to view a person the same after something like this.

Meadowfinch · 14/07/2024 07:38

Using the TC money is fair enough. Your issue is not who pays for classes, but why your partner is not paying half in the first place?

Does he see the classes as your hobby? Or does he see the baby as your hobby?

PregnantWithHorrors · 14/07/2024 07:31

Partner? Make sure when you go back to work it's full time.

FinchFrench · 14/07/2024 07:26

How will you split nursery costs when you go back to work?

SuuzeeeQ · 14/07/2024 07:26

You had 9 months full pay, presumably a lot less expenses (no commute, petrol, nights out) and need to argue over a relatively small amount? Your package is amazing, what would you have done on less?
You need to have a better conversation about money or cut down on baby classes (£95is a lot for classes). I am
surprised you didn’t discuss this beforehand.

Violetlightning · 14/07/2024 07:22

I was in a similar pay situation on mat leave, when my pay reduced I decided to just do one paying class a week and then attended the local free classes. Also lots of play dates and visits to the park.

Is your partner usually tight with money? Or overly cautious? Could he be trying to be sensible or prehaps trying to save for something like a deposit for a property, wedding etc? If attending the classes means a lot to you then explain this to him.

BlueMum16 · 14/07/2024 07:19

bookish83 · 14/07/2024 07:15

You have been on full pay for 9 months and 1/2 for 3 months? That is an incredible mat leave package.

It would be nice if your partner split/helped paid for costs now you have less income however you are in a much better position than most on mat leave oay wise so to be honest I don't think its a massive deal for you to pay for your activity whilst off

So because OP has. A good package that makes it ok for her DP not to contribute to their child?

Your DP needs to pay at least half now OP but the money conversations should have taken place before getting pregnant.

I hope in the rest of your daily lives he is not as tight considering your income differences.

sannax · 14/07/2024 07:19

I’m sorry you’re in this situation. What exactly does he contribute to family life if you go 50/50 on everything? If you are raising the children and managing the home as well as contributing financially…that is an unequal share of labour.

bookish83 · 14/07/2024 07:15

You have been on full pay for 9 months and 1/2 for 3 months? That is an incredible mat leave package.

It would be nice if your partner split/helped paid for costs now you have less income however you are in a much better position than most on mat leave oay wise so to be honest I don't think its a massive deal for you to pay for your activity whilst off

Tv23456 · 14/07/2024 07:10

He is mean and you have made a MASSIVE mistake having a child with him.
Good men are not mean.
This is your life and your relationship for as long as you tolerate it.
Unfortunately you likely have a miserable life ahead of you.
I suggest you read the many threads on MN about mean men.
It doesn't get any better, it gets a lot worse.
Take this very seriously and protect yourself.
He sees this child as yours, and your responsibility to pay for.
I feel very sorry for you but mean men make awful partners and fathers.
He is selfish and won't change.
Don't have more children with him.
I presume you are not married?
No surprise there, mean men hate sharing so avoid it.
Talk to family snd friends for support and think seriously is this really what you want for your child.

Get back to work early, you cannot afford to be on maternity leave any longer.

Surely you can see how off it is that he hasn't paid a penny towards his child?