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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Surely it’s time to stop using “Karen” as an insult

161 replies

Headabovetheparapets · 13/07/2024 23:04

Is it just me who feels that this use of the name Karen to imply unreasonable/stroppy/mean/spiteful behaviour has become Bullying?
And yes I am called Karen🤗 but whenever I see the name, along with Kevin, Sharon or Nigel used to describe ‘bad’ or ‘typical’ behaviour I feel rather sad.
I don’t think I’m generally difficult, to be honest I’m too lazy🤣🤣 & a big fan of live & let live. So the frequent references to ‘ Karen’ being nasty/mean/horrible are hard to hear & each time I do that sadness grows & I step that little bit further away to protect me.
so

AIBU it’s just a joke get over it
YANBU it is hard to constantly hear that your name means you’re mean

Somewhat lighthearted but writing this out makes me realise it really does hurt.

OP posts:
Opine · 13/07/2024 23:53

What if you are called Jane but aren’t plain? Or Dan and not desperate?
There was always going to be a name attached to this type of character and it happens to be Karen. If not Karen it would be something else. It’s not really about the name but the character and she, unfortunately, is very real and deserving of a slur.

surreygirl1987 · 13/07/2024 23:53

https://www.whsmith.co.uk/products/karen-party-game/5060959630005.html

Found it. I can't believe this exists. Complaining right now (ironically, I bet the person receiving the complaint will call me a Karen).

Karen Party Game | WHSmith

Order a Karen Party Game today from WHSmith. Delivery free on all UK orders over £30.

https://www.whsmith.co.uk/products/karen-party-game/5060959630005.html

Amanitacae · 13/07/2024 23:53

3catsandcounting · 13/07/2024 23:24

It's a horrible term, but, in my experience, is used largely by other women, so not misogynistic or racist, just nasty 🤷‍♀️

Women using the term doesn’t stop it from being misogynistic.

surreygirl1987 · 13/07/2024 23:52

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/07/2024 23:51

Yeah I’m not sure it’s racist? Definitely misogynistic and ageist but not sure where people are getting racist from?

It was originally meant to refer to middle aged white racist women.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/07/2024 23:51

Yeah I’m not sure it’s racist? Definitely misogynistic and ageist but not sure where people are getting racist from?

surreygirl1987 · 13/07/2024 23:50

user1487797255 · 13/07/2024 23:21

Please lobby your local WHSmith to desist from selling the 'Karen' 'family party game' which perpetuates this nasty racist/ageist/sexist stereotype ('the stereotype of the middle-aged white woman').

The manager of ours said there was nothing she could do but I was welcome to email the press dept as 'it would be better coming from you'.

It seems it's acceptable to mock and denigrate people who fit this demographic. What other group would it be acceptable to openly mock and discriminate against in this way? & of course it's catch-22 when anyone complains.

WHAAAAAT?! Is this for real?!

NeedWineNow · 13/07/2024 23:50

I’m Karen and I hate it. I feel embarrassed when I have to tell someone my name.

I wish I didn’t have to feel like this 🥲

Werweisswohin · 13/07/2024 23:49

My name isn't Karen but I've hated it from day one, along with snowflake and woke. It's used to shut people down - particularly, but not exclusively, women.

surreygirl1987 · 13/07/2024 23:48

ChoccieCornflake · 13/07/2024 23:09

It's a misogynistic insult used mostly to silence women. It's absolutely time that people got called out for using it

Exactly this. I've been called Karen a few times by men (and even, disturbingly, a teen girl!) for expressing my opinion. It's awful. My husband never gets treated like this.

Karentoo · 13/07/2024 23:46

I hate it. I've been looking at changing my name, which upsets my Mum as she loves the name she gave me. The kids say it will be too weird for me to have a different name.
When people use it in a derogatory way it just makes me feel totally crap and gives me a jolt everytime I hear it. Can't really explain it, but I wish it would stop. It doesn't seem to be getting any less though and yes, to the person who said it is often women who use it, I see women using it online more often.

StSwithinsDay · 13/07/2024 23:45

@user1487797255
I've just looked at that. Unfuckingbelievable.
What are the contact details for WH Smith Press office please?

3catsandcounting · 13/07/2024 23:29

@hedgeoffressian I'm 61, know lots of Karen's of my age, and still stand by my observation of more women than men using the name as an insult.

Original poster
Headabovetheparapets · 13/07/2024 23:29

user1487797255 · 13/07/2024 23:21

Please lobby your local WHSmith to desist from selling the 'Karen' 'family party game' which perpetuates this nasty racist/ageist/sexist stereotype ('the stereotype of the middle-aged white woman').

The manager of ours said there was nothing she could do but I was welcome to email the press dept as 'it would be better coming from you'.

It seems it's acceptable to mock and denigrate people who fit this demographic. What other group would it be acceptable to openly mock and discriminate against in this way? & of course it's catch-22 when anyone complains.

Wow that takes it to a whole new level don’t know if I should laugh or cry!!,
Thankyou for the heads up, problem is do I complain & be a “Karen” or should I do it incognito!!!🤣🤣

OP posts:
MissTrip82 · 13/07/2024 23:29

I think it was one thing when it was used to describe deranged white people calling the police because a black person was out in public etc. But it seems to have extended to every time a middle aged woman expresses an opinion.

It interested me to see how it quickly it was removed on a thread earlier. MN lets some incredibly racist stuff stand but this and other silly insults are quick to be dealt with.

Hedgeoffressian · 13/07/2024 23:26

3catsandcounting · 13/07/2024 23:24

It's a horrible term, but, in my experience, is used largely by other women, so not misogynistic or racist, just nasty 🤷‍♀️

I’ve seen the term used by plenty of men on Facebook and it’s always been directed towards older white women.

Original poster
Headabovetheparapets · 13/07/2024 23:25

wtfissummer · 13/07/2024 23:20

Not sure if you are new to Mumsnet OP, but the mods on here are really good at deleting any posts using the term casually.

It is regularly called out on here and that's as it should be

It's ageist, misogynistic and used by people who are a wee bit thick

I’ve been around a while🤗 & yes you’re correct MN Are very good at limiting the comments that get through & I’m very grateful for their efforts & posters who call it out & show low tolerance to this behaviour. Those who still use this term are just mean.

OP posts:
Hedgeoffressian · 13/07/2024 23:25

I absolutely hate it. It’s both ageist and misogynistic. My lovely mum is called Karen. So I see it as an insult towards her and her generation. It’s clearly designed to make women of a certain age think before they speak (shut them up). So just plain nasty.

3catsandcounting · 13/07/2024 23:24

It's a horrible term, but, in my experience, is used largely by other women, so not misogynistic or racist, just nasty 🤷‍♀️

Misthios · 13/07/2024 23:22

ChoccieCornflake · 13/07/2024 23:09

It's a misogynistic insult used mostly to silence women. It's absolutely time that people got called out for using it

Completely agree. It's also a name which is very common among women my age and most are very angry about their name being hijacked in this way.

It's not funny, it's sexist, ageist - basically just telling women to shut up and get back in your box. Especially if you're middle aged.

curlingcorner · 13/07/2024 23:22

I agree and I am not called Karen. I haven’t seen it used as a joke, just in a very negative way to talk about people or shut them down.

I haven’t heard it used in real life, only online, but it needs to stop.

user1487797255 · 13/07/2024 23:21

Please lobby your local WHSmith to desist from selling the 'Karen' 'family party game' which perpetuates this nasty racist/ageist/sexist stereotype ('the stereotype of the middle-aged white woman').

The manager of ours said there was nothing she could do but I was welcome to email the press dept as 'it would be better coming from you'.

It seems it's acceptable to mock and denigrate people who fit this demographic. What other group would it be acceptable to openly mock and discriminate against in this way? & of course it's catch-22 when anyone complains.

wtfissummer · 13/07/2024 23:20

Not sure if you are new to Mumsnet OP, but the mods on here are really good at deleting any posts using the term casually.

It is regularly called out on here and that's as it should be

It's ageist, misogynistic and used by people who are a wee bit thick

WingingItSince1973 · 13/07/2024 23:19

I absolutely hate it. It's bullying, misogynistic and lazy. Plus all the poor ladies called Karen out there must be so fed up. I really judge people who use it.

Original poster
Headabovetheparapets · 13/07/2024 23:18

mumsince2021 · 13/07/2024 23:11

I haven't heard it used much recently so was hoping most people had moved on from it but I completely agree it's annoying and a big part is because it's also my name. It's hard not to be frustrated when it's your name being used to represent negativity and also makes to seem like you are one of them purely based on a name you didn't pick. This post probably isn't helping us as it's bringing it to more people's attention again 😅

You have a point🤣 apologies. If it gets too much traction I’ll ask for it to be deleted.
I do share your pain, I have seen a flurry of posts tonight so probably why I’m feeling rather attacked!!

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 13/07/2024 23:18

YANBU, it is just used to shut women up... "OK Karen" etc.

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