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AIBU?

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Original poster

Surely it’s time to stop using “Karen” as an insult

161 replies

Headabovetheparapets · 13/07/2024 23:04

Is it just me who feels that this use of the name Karen to imply unreasonable/stroppy/mean/spiteful behaviour has become Bullying?
And yes I am called Karen🤗 but whenever I see the name, along with Kevin, Sharon or Nigel used to describe ‘bad’ or ‘typical’ behaviour I feel rather sad.
I don’t think I’m generally difficult, to be honest I’m too lazy🤣🤣 & a big fan of live & let live. So the frequent references to ‘ Karen’ being nasty/mean/horrible are hard to hear & each time I do that sadness grows & I step that little bit further away to protect me.
so

AIBU it’s just a joke get over it
YANBU it is hard to constantly hear that your name means you’re mean

Somewhat lighthearted but writing this out makes me realise it really does hurt.

OP posts:
HoHoHoliday · 14/07/2024 00:42

It's derogatory, sexist and misogynistic, and pretty lazy too. Mumsnet seem to be doing ok and removing the usage of it here but I still see it a lot on other social media, usually in the comments when a woman has posted something.
I wish people would move on. My lovely sister is Karen and has been forced to change her name in her 50s because of this. I also have a lovely friend called Karen who is embarrassed to say her own name too.
For anyone who reads this who still uses the term, just think on how you'd feel if your own name became used in this way.

Karentoo · 14/07/2024 00:41

It's not just a white woman thing though. I am white, but neither of the two other women I know called Karen are white and they hate the name calling too.

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:39

*this

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:38

atbis is taking an interesting turn @NotTerfNorCis @ClickClack300 .

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:38

Karentoo · 14/07/2024 00:37

Apologies, the quote shows the quote history, but it puts your statement on top, I was replying to Opine's post.

Show quote history

It's no problem.

Karentoo · 14/07/2024 00:37

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:35

You're quoting the wrong post

Show quote history

Apologies, the quote shows the quote history, but it puts your statement on top, I was replying to Opine's post.

LemonTreeGrove · 14/07/2024 00:37

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:35

@GrazingSheep Not so much luck but just because I don’t fit the profile despite my womanhood.

I'm alright Jack! It is possible to care about misogyny that has been directed at someone other than yourself you know.

NotTerfNorCis · 14/07/2024 00:37

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:35

@GrazingSheep Not so much luck but just because I don’t fit the profile despite my womanhood.

How? All women get called Karen these days, not just white women.

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:35

@GrazingSheep Not so much luck but just because I don’t fit the profile despite my womanhood.

ClickClack300 · 14/07/2024 00:35

I agree OP, it’s racist, ageist, sexist to name but a few! If you changed the name Karen to Mohamed, there would be fucking uproar, but it’s a the name of a middle aged, white British woman so take the piss all you want. Fucking appalling 😡

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:35

Karentoo · 14/07/2024 00:32

It hasn't happened to you, so therefore it hasn't happened to any other woman 🤔

Show quote history

You're quoting the wrong post

LemonTreeGrove · 14/07/2024 00:34

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:29

Definitely not used to shut down women with opinions. Never once have I been called a Karen and I’m no shrinking violet.

I've not personally been called one, but see it used constantly to shut down women and girls expressing any sort of opinion on social media. You are very wrong that it's not used to shut down women with opinions.

HRTQueen · 14/07/2024 00:34

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:29

I didn't say it was used at middle aged women. If you express opinions on social media and haven't been cancelled a Karen, I'm surprised.

Show quote history

No I haven’t

NotTerfNorCis · 14/07/2024 00:34

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:29

Definitely not used to shut down women with opinions. Never once have I been called a Karen and I’m no shrinking violet.

I haven't offline. But online, it's the go-to insult for males against anyone who disagrees with them who they suspect is female. They think it'll shut down the argument and very often they're right. 'OK Karen' = 'shut up woman, no one cares what you think'.

GrazingSheep · 14/07/2024 00:33

@Opine
Well aren’t you lucky.

Karentoo · 14/07/2024 00:32

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:30

I'm glad to hear that's been your experience.

Show quote history

It hasn't happened to you, so therefore it hasn't happened to any other woman 🤔

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:30

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:29

Definitely not used to shut down women with opinions. Never once have I been called a Karen and I’m no shrinking violet.

I'm glad to hear that's been your experience.

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:29

Definitely not used to shut down women with opinions. Never once have I been called a Karen and I’m no shrinking violet.

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:29

HRTQueen · 14/07/2024 00:28

I’m very opinionated

im middle aged

yet to be called a Karen I am not sure it is aimed at any women with an opinion

Show quote history

I didn't say it was used at middle aged women. If you express opinions on social media and haven't been cancelled a Karen, I'm surprised.

NotTerfNorCis · 14/07/2024 00:29

'Jane' isn't usually an insult either to be fair.

LemonTreeGrove · 14/07/2024 00:28

Opine · 14/07/2024 00:25

@StSwithinsDay I am in a few minority groups. I really have far greater things to contend with.

@Catsmere Its a descriptor for a certain type of woman not any woman.

Rubbish. It's used constantly about any woman with any opinion, including little girls.

HRTQueen · 14/07/2024 00:28

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:27

It's typically used at women when they express an opinion. It's used to shut them up.

I don't know if it's racist but it's aimed at white women.

Show quote history

I’m very opinionated

im middle aged

yet to be called a Karen I am not sure it is aimed at any women with an opinion

NotTerfNorCis · 14/07/2024 00:27

I've never heard Kevin used as an insult. What does it mean? An obnoxious, opinionated man? There are other words for that. Like 'knob'. I think 'Kevin' is invented by apologists for 'Karen'.

Anyway, a male equivalent of Karen isn't possible, because ultimately Karen means a woman who stands up for herself. That isn't an insult for males.

LemonTreeGrove · 14/07/2024 00:27

Opine · 13/07/2024 23:53

What if you are called Jane but aren’t plain? Or Dan and not desperate?
There was always going to be a name attached to this type of character and it happens to be Karen. If not Karen it would be something else. It’s not really about the name but the character and she, unfortunately, is very real and deserving of a slur.

Stop trying to defend misogynistic slurs.
deserving of a slur. WTF. Do you defend other slurs too, or just misogynistic ones??

cupcaske123 · 14/07/2024 00:27

HRTQueen · 14/07/2024 00:24

I can understand if you name is Karen why it’s upsetting

but otherwise not really why would it bother you I don’t know any woman that would be silenced by being called a Karen

not sure it’s racist either

It's typically used at women when they express an opinion. It's used to shut them up.

I don't know if it's racist but it's aimed at white women.

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