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AIBU?

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Original poster

WTF is it with people and “cuddling” new born babies.

219 replies

CoffeeNeededorWine · 13/07/2024 20:45

I’ll start by saying most people annoy me. People in general are annoying. I know I sound so welcoming 😂

But honestly, what is it with family wanting cuddles with the baby. Seriously, Fu*k off. I’ve just squeezed a melon out, my boobs are leaking, I can hardly sit down and let’s not even start on when I need a poo! But at least I now get to hold and feed my baby. Oh wait visitor number 746764 wants to “cuddle” or feed her. Firstly, it’s not cuddling your holding her and secondly go home while I enjoy my baby for a bit.

Seriously, hoisting people is a chore normally but when you’ve just had a baby. Give me a break. Go cuddle a dog or something and leave us the F alone.

And no, I don’t think having to converse with other people, while sleep deprived is needed. As “family just want a cuddle” I want some piece and to relax. You’re going home to a good night sleep I’m on feed 765. Don’t even get me started on family who think they know best when baby cries and won’t give her back.
Edited by MNHQ

OP posts:
Bobskeleton · 13/07/2024 21:11

Agree with PP that it doesn't last for long and novelty wears off quickly, so the hoards of people will stop visiting soon.

But I would say try to see some positives in it. My first was a lockdown baby. It felt so wrong that none of my family could cuddle my baby, and boy would I have loved someone to just hold and soothe her for 15 mins so I could take a breath.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 13/07/2024 21:10

I remember DPs aunt making weird clicking noises at my newborn thinking that this was somehow normal. The baby just cried and cried until I managed to wrestle her back from weird aunt.

KintheCottage · 13/07/2024 21:10

I loved having people over but I’m very lucky as everyone was extremely respectful, didn’t stay for hours and actually helped around the house as well. I was never expected to ‘host’ or dress up. I can see how it could be really annoying having to host.

Demonhunter · 13/07/2024 21:10

Aren't you a ray of sunshine 😬

Will Ferrell Chill GIF
Original poster
CoffeeNeededorWine · 13/07/2024 21:09

OhHelloMiss · 13/07/2024 21:02

Cos she wants presents!

Show quote history

I’m hosting because I know it’s the right thing to do for family as it means so much to them. I’m just exhausted and fed up of being told I’m doing things wrong. When here I just let everyone hold her and feed her as much as they want. Smile and be nice when really I’m thinking my boobs are burning, I’m constipated and would love a nap on the couch all cuddled up.

I no, know one agrees with my post but it’s my thoughts and I stand by them.

I do feel awful for any posters who have lost family. I hadn’t thought of that, I’m genuinely sorry if I upset them.

I just wanted a rant.

OP posts:
ConfusedCrossroads · 13/07/2024 21:08

I can empathise as I get the feeling the cuddling you’re referring to has not been the normal pleasant show of affection that most people experience from family/friends. I say this as someone who had PIL rocking up everyday to hold LO for up to four hours at a time and not handing back for feeds so I feel this to my core.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 13/07/2024 21:08

I have never understood why people call holding a baby a "cuddle". You're holding a baby and hoping it doesn't cry. Yes babies are special but 5 minutes is more than enough.

StormingNorman · 13/07/2024 21:07

As a fellow introvert I get how exhausting people can be. They take a lot of effort and energy that you just don’t have right now. If everyone’s had their first cuddles, could you take a ‘holiday’ of say two weeks where it’s just you, baby and dad? No visitors for that time.

showersandflowers · 13/07/2024 21:07

I personally loved having visitors, they reminded me that I was an adult capable of having conversations and having a life outside of the four walls I was now trapped in being milked like a cow. They also reminded me that I'd get through this hard time, they all did.

Trust me, in a few months time when your baby isn't brand new any more but it's just as hard but you're not news anymore, you'll be begging for someone to come hold the baby so you can pee on your own for two seconds.

Toottooot · 13/07/2024 21:06

Amazed anybody actually wants to visit you / your kid anyway.

GoingRate · 13/07/2024 21:05

Ignoring the Karen BS, I do remember being really overwhelmed with everyone wanting to hold my newborn with my first baby.

All the fuss doesn’t last. Most people will lose interest soon enough!

Original poster
CoffeeNeededorWine · 13/07/2024 21:05

Fizbosshoes · 13/07/2024 21:02

My mum was recovering from stage 3 breast cancer when DD was born it made me and her unbelievably happy for her to give DD a cuddle. The pic I have with her with DD when she was a day old is literally my favourite ever.

But I do understand as a new mum it's instinctive to be protective of a newborn

Edited

Oh gosh, I’m really sorry to hear that. 😢 I am glad you managed to get your picture.

I really hope my post never upset you. I’m sleep deprived, insecure and fed up of everyone telling me I am doing it wrong especially my MIL.

OP posts:
Crinklycrisp · 13/07/2024 21:05

Oooh MNHQ have edited out the 'Karen'

Cryingout1994 · 13/07/2024 21:04

The only time I ever got annoyed with visitors was when they turned up unannounced, at least ask. But other than that, fire away

Peonies12 · 13/07/2024 21:04

YABU. Babies make people happy and the world’s shit mostly. Chill the F Out

hattie43 · 13/07/2024 21:03

One day you may not have family or friends or anyone wanting to ' cuddle the baby '
Be grateful you have people who care .

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/07/2024 21:03

I’m sure you’d have something to say if no one paid attention to you baby and didn’t want to visit them.

OhHelloMiss · 13/07/2024 21:02

Ohiwish12 · 13/07/2024 20:55

Why are you hosting them if you don't want to. You can say no to visitors and just be in a newborn bubble if you really wanted to?

Cos she wants presents!

Fizbosshoes · 13/07/2024 21:02

My mum was recovering from stage 3 breast cancer when DD was born it made me and her unbelievably happy for her to give DD a cuddle. The pic I have with her with DD when she was a day old is literally my favourite ever.

But I do understand as a new mum it's instinctive to be protective of a newborn

Original poster
CoffeeNeededorWine · 13/07/2024 21:01

I am 100% an introvert. As already said I’m clearly not a delight to be around and probably will live to regret not wanting visitors.

I am howling at the Karen comments though! My MIL is called Karen and she’s driving me bat shit! I hold the baby wrong, I feed her wrong, I burp her wrong. If one more person tells me I’m doing something wrong when I’m this sleep deprived I might loose it!

OP posts:
OhHelloMiss · 13/07/2024 21:01

WinterMorn · 13/07/2024 20:53

What a horrible, unpleasant post.

Seconded!

Funfaxfan · 13/07/2024 21:01

CoffeeNeededorWine · 13/07/2024 20:55

😂😂😂😂😂 I know you’re comment is a jibe at me but some people have actually said “I’ll eat her with a knife and fork.” This has made me laugh so, so much!

Show quote history

It genuinely wasn't a jibe. Dingos don't go round holding babies and they do eat them so there is your proof.

BowlOfNoodles · 13/07/2024 21:01

Sapphire387 · 13/07/2024 20:59

These responses are a stark contrast to the usual 'your baby, your rules' answers on mumsnet.

Yeah the aggressive tone rudeness doesn't allow for sympathy

BrendaSmall · 13/07/2024 21:01

The day my daughter came out of hospital last time she came straight to my house 🤣 This time she said she’s leaving hospital, going home to collect her 18 month old and coming here too 🤣
Lots of baby of cuddles for Nanny!

C0untBinFace · 13/07/2024 21:01

it’s been like that in my family for generations