WTF is it with people and “cuddling” new born babies.

You sound incredibly precious and uptight but if this is how you feel then this is how you feel.
I enjoyed having visitors and we have a lot of family, our front door may aswell have been a revolving one! If I needed to go to the toilet I went to the toilet. If I needed to have a nap after the first one I realised I had other children and responsibilities and got over it 😂
People go one of two ways after having a baby and we both took the opposite paths. Neither is wrong.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pick up baby, say you’re going into the bedroom for a feed, and stay there until they leave. I’m a very sociable person, but in the weeks post-partum I definitely didn’t thrive on company.

Op a reasonable person doesn't compare a sad story of a loved one to yours... but you're here on mumsnet so it will happen.

I think you'd be happier if you avoided people.

Just stay home with the baby and never answer the door/phone/emails. You'll be reet.

Wow, you are hostile. But you’ve opened my eyes to wanting to “cuddle” new babies. I’m guilty….i miss enjoying my grandbabies, so there. That being said, yes, you sound very unfriendly.

Don’t worry OP no one will give a shiny shit about your sprog soon, so make the most of it while you can.

YANBU. At all.

You’re not a miserable cow!! You’ve just had a baby! And sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones are, in my opinion, fucking HORRIFIC. Rant away my friend… and tell your MIL to shove her opinions up her arse. Sending love & solidarity from one new mum to another x

Ha! This is why having a baby during the pandemic was the best!!! No visitors, unwanted advise or kissing the baby or not washing hands when touching them.

So I get you!

Maybe just stop being a doormat and letting everyone round if you don’t actually want visitors?

Erm with all due respect it's only ops baby... if family want they can go have their own babies...

It's not ageist. It's not sexist. It's just another insult and aimed at twats who deserve it
Er, no. Karen is now used for any woman over a certain age who is doing something that someone does not agree with. And since older women are often treated like crap, the someone using the insult is as likely to be a twat as the person it is aimed at.

Small babies are a special kinda magic. I love to be around them and hold them but only when it benefits their mother. If entertaining your toddler or cleaning your kitchen is more helpful, that's where I'll be! People who try to avoid returning a crying baby have got bad things coming to them. . I'm still irritated from that experience and it's a solid six years ago!

Has it occurred to you that you're the Karen?

I completely agree I have an 11 week old and that first week my god people round from first thing in the morning constantly wanting to hold her, I even had my midwife turn up and my lounge was full of visitors we had to go upstairs to talk in private. I still get annoyed now as my DD doesn't sleep very well and have my parents at my door at 9am even though I've told them if she is up all night we tend to go back to bed in the morning to catch up - I don't have other children so have the luxury of being able to do this! I do get annoyed when people continue to hold her when she's crying as I'm her mum she should be handed back or if she's asleep/falling asleep, I don't want her to get into the habit or having to be held 24/7 when she is naturally good at self soothing, I also get a lot of comments about the way I do things and peoples opinions it drives me mad. My advice is set boundaries it's ok, often people say they are there to help; they're not at all just adding more work to the already busy life, don't be afraid to say no, I've learned this xx

I think she’s really really mad because nobody came to see her and her new baby.

And she’s overcompensating.

Don't get me started on people wearing perfume and holding babies, just disrespectful to mum and baby

So - you are not unreasonable not to want to host at this point (or any really). But people love babies and we evolved in tribes where everyone would have looked out for the kids, so we are wired that way. I think it is always ok to ask people to not visit. But if they do I dont think it is reasonable to expect them not to want to hold a baby. FWIW, I dont know anyone with babies and have no chance of holding now or in the future - and sometimes when I see them it is like a physical ache. Not that I want to take them forever or anything weird, but holding a baby is such a lovely thing to do. And it is sad when you dont have that chance any longer.

Oh but OP babies are rare and tiny for such a little time.
You get to my age and the last time I touched a new born was about 4 years ago. I would probably pretend to be your auntie Jane just to have a quick squish.

Honestly if you’ve had enough of visitors just say no, it’s ok not to want visitors all the time.
Also people critiquing you all the time must be awful when you’re already exhausted and hormonal.
Speak to your DP about how your feeling he should be acting as gatekeeper to visitors (especially his own side) and tell them no if it’s not convenient to visit or tell them when it’s time to leave. Tell them the health visitor or midwife is coming round!