WTF is it with people and “cuddling” new born babies.

I told family I don't want any visitors for first two weeks.
They all survived.

People just get fucking idiotic about newborns.
Worst part is that they will claim "they are helping" when all they want to do is play mummy and feed the baby. If you want to help go and scrub my bathroom. That is kind of help I need.

Seriously, hoisting people is a chore normally

I love this typo. I hear you @CoffeeNeededorWine People are annoying.
I'm going to start saying 'hoisting' instead of hosting from now on.

don't think I'm hoisting your mother next weekend.

🍷
Are you me?
Congratulations on your PFB!
Yes, people are weird about newborns. Babies seem to be public property.
Viruses are programmed to spread People long to share their viruses and whatnot, but culture wraps it up somehow as bonding and make you out to be weird if you resist it.
It's some kind of atavistic initiation ceremony it's very diffficult to avoid. All the time your maternal instinct is screaming to protect your infant from these temporarily insane mature women who seem to want to devour the child.
Stick to your guns and watch all hell let loose.
I feel for you, I really do.
(And I'm really old now, but remember it as if it were yesterday.)

You’re the one who sounds unpleasant. If you can’t be “precious” when you’ve just had a human being burst out of your body, hormones raging wildly & leaking breasts the size of swollen footballs then I don’t know when you can. My family love ME as well as my baby, so they were completely on board with my boundaries & whatever would help me recover. Incidentally, suicide is the most common cause of maternal death in the first year postpartum. Maternal mental health is more important than a pouty adult family member.

It is okay to set limits on visits...that doesn't work for us etc.
On the flip side..you may appreciate the visits when/if you have subsequent kids. I've just had a baby. Visitors today took my older 2 out for 3 hours whilst we napped...came back and cuddled baby on the sofa for half an hour with a cup of tea and then left. IDEAL.

Also my 6 year old constantly asks to hold his newborn sibling. He gazes at them and strokes their head. It is freaking adorable.

I’m with you @CoffeeNeededorWine. I felt all the same things, didn’t want a lot of my family there either. Still don’t tbh 6 months down the line.
You can tell who all the overbearing grandmas are on this thread though (or those called Karen).

Sorry but simply can't understand this attitude at all. Certainly not the case outside the hallowed halls of MN. You sound like very hard work. Probably be the first to whine if nobody bothered visiting or taking an interest in the baby.

Yeah, family members showing love for a baby that’s related to them. What a bunch of bastards. 🙄

You know what they say: If you don’t like people, you don’t like yourself 🤷🏻‍♀️

I loved having visitors so have no idea what the problem is. I had my first visitor when's was 3 hours old.

You’re entitled to how you feel. Personally I loved people visiting, Hand the baby over and sit back. The best people even do the washing up 😬

Honestly, some posters act as if you’re not smiling and happy to have people round you constantly after having a baby and them ignoring your wishes )because they just want a cuddle) there is something wrong with you.

The fourth trimester sucks for many including having to deal with family dynamics. OP is just having a little rant. Not everyone wants a “tribe” around them while they get their bearings and navigate early motherhood and there is nothing wrong with that, just as there is nothing wrong with wanting tons of people around.

I was the exact same ! I only loved when someone asked to hold him. It gave my arms a break

You need to say no sometimes though and enjoy your baby. You deserve to enjoy him/her. If you can’t say no try to limit it where you can ? You don’t want to look back at such a lovely time and feel that you didn’t enjoy it.

Families can be pushy sometimes. It’s the fourth trimester and it’s most important form you and baby to have that time together

Ah…a fellow introvert I see. I feel you. Been there done that absolutely hate it too! And my MIL and FIL were lovely and considerate.

They visited a week after baby was born (after checking with us). I felt reluctant to say yes but my DH was adamant they waited long enough. I remember hiding in the bedroom of our tiny one bed flat holding the baby crying asking DH to tell PILs to leave after spending the whole afternoon with them in the flat. It was just a lot of pressure for me in those early days to spend as much time possible with them given the distance they’ve traveled. And they’re one of the two sets of visitors we had!

So I can relate to the tiredness, the overwhelmingness and the feeling you have to turn on your host “mode”. The visitors will die down soon and as for your MIL, just counter whatever she said with “That’s not how we do it nowadays Karen” but I’m direct haha. Sending hugs xxx

Come on it’s not the baby’s fault, is it

I was quite proud when family and close friends wanted to hold my newborn, I thought my baby was the cutest baby ever and my family and friends cooing over him was great! Also it was handy having someone holding him so I could make a cup of tea or nip to the loo, give him a bottle so I could put dinner on etc.

I don't get it either I think it's generational, luckily I only have two people in our collective families who are pushy and I struggled enough just with that. I think just not worrying about what others are thinking and be honest with how you're feeling about it, "actually I need to go up and feed baby now and try and get some rest, it was great seeing you goodbye" and then walk straight upstairs without a backwards glance and let your partner see them out.
I never have had the urge to cuddle or hold someone's else baby, and even if I did I would never ask but wait until a hold was offered. I find it weird when people get grabby with babies, babies who literally can barely see them beyond a blur, who's smell they can't recognise, and a person who cannot meet their needs.

Me neither.
I've held 5. Maybe.
Niece's baby. Friend's baby, another friend's baby and a lady at a shared hobby needed her baby holding for a moment. Oh and mine. Yes five.