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Original poster

Wedding abroad night before meal

84 replies

spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 20:43

So I'm going to friends wedding in franc in august. Staying in a chateau for 3 nights. So the night before the wedding she has arranged a restaurant. It was 40 pp just me and ds going but now it's changed and it's 56 pp but it's a menu ds prob won't like eg foie gras and duck and different things. I feel it's a lot of money 132 altogether and ds will probably only pick at it. I'm not sure how to get out of it though. I was going to arrive in the evening and say we already ate. Is that rude. Then I'm wondering will she want to change the time of the meal to suit us. She needs to know if ds and me are coming to the meal. Wwyd. There's another meal on Sunday night which is 25 pp. not sure whether to stay for that or go back to the city . Will we be tired of socializing by then and prefer to do some sightseeing before flight home on Monday.

OP posts:
YellowAsteroid · 14/07/2024 06:56

spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 23:15

Yeh it's just that 132 is a lot for a meal plus the taxi. Already spent 400 on flights plus accommodation at the chateau plus 1 nite in a hotel cos no flights on Fridays so had to arrive Thurs nite. Plus transfers and meals. Plus 50 for the meal on Sunday nite. Plus dd is not invited so I feel bad spending all
This and she can't enjoy it too. Am quite poor!!! Haven't been abroad for many many years . Maybe I should just go for the meal though you're right

This just sounds like an expensive disaster. Why on earth are you going?

Use an online map like google maps to check out what is in the region. Is there a village in walkable distance?

And definitely contact your friend re a vegetarian option. I just wouldn’t be going under those conditions. France is getting better at catering for vegetarians but if there’s no vegetarian menu specified, you won’t have anything but just the vegetable course/dishes and bread and cheese(if you eat cheese).

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 23:18

I don't know why she changed from the original restaurant which was 40 pp and had more "normal" food plus I'm a veggie and there doesn't seem to be a veg option ! Ah maybe I'm just being stingy I dunno need advice . I mean I'm not her best friend or anything will she even notice if I'm not there dykwim

OP posts:
Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 23:15

Yeh it's just that 132 is a lot for a meal plus the taxi. Already spent 400 on flights plus accommodation at the chateau plus 1 nite in a hotel cos no flights on Fridays so had to arrive Thurs nite. Plus transfers and meals. Plus 50 for the meal on Sunday nite. Plus dd is not invited so I feel bad spending all
This and she can't enjoy it too. Am quite poor!!! Haven't been abroad for many many years . Maybe I should just go for the meal though you're right

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 13/07/2024 22:59

Why make life tricky?
remote location etc there will likely not be deliveroo..
Go along with the others make it a life experience
He will eat adult size meal anyway

cestlavielife · 13/07/2024 22:57

Oh so he is 16 not 6 then
So take him to the meal
There will be something he can eat bread cheese meat
He can experience being a grown up
And there may not be uber locally!

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 22:55

I feel like we need to arrive kinda late rather than face questions from other guests why we not going to the meal? And so I can say we already ate. I'm just worried about getting there as it seems to be quite remote. Is it ok to contact chateau directly and ask about local transport and taxis. My friend is arranging a bus and taxis to bring everyone to the meal on the Friday night.

OP posts:
Wimbledoner · 13/07/2024 22:51

A very tired teenager then!

Leafygreen84 · 13/07/2024 22:50

Wimbledoner · 13/07/2024 22:49

No it’s fine, say your little one is tired and you’re sorting yourself out and are so looking forward to the next day.

He’s 16 😂

KateDelRick · 13/07/2024 22:50

Wimbledoner · 13/07/2024 22:49

No it’s fine, say your little one is tired and you’re sorting yourself out and are so looking forward to the next day.

He's 16

Wimbledoner · 13/07/2024 22:49

No it’s fine, say your little one is tired and you’re sorting yourself out and are so looking forward to the next day.

SleepPrettyDarling · 13/07/2024 22:49

Wimbledoner · 13/07/2024 22:46

It’s fine to say you’re not going to the meal the day before.

Agree, it’s fine to say you’ll do something casual with your son.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 22:47

Wimbledoner · 13/07/2024 22:46

It’s fine to say you’re not going to the meal the day before.

Shall I try and arrive late. I think it will be embarrassing if we are there and they all
Head to meal

OP posts:
Wimbledoner · 13/07/2024 22:46

It’s fine to say you’re not going to the meal the day before.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 22:37

Yeh think I will bring some snacks in the suitcase for ds ! He's 16 but is a fussy eater. He will come to the meal but it seems like a lot of money after the flights and accommodation and transfers etc etc . I won't have a car so am hoping we can get an Uber or similar to the local village.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 13/07/2024 22:07

Check what other option to eat there is. Will you have your own car or is village in walking distance? If you have to get a taxi somewhere remote it might cost the same!

Rhaidimiddim · 13/07/2024 22:01

How old is DS? Why are you so sure he won't like the food? Why aren't you even considering the possibility tjat he might try it and like it?

BigDahliaFan · 13/07/2024 21:53

an alternative view is that it’s a chance to get to know people before the wedding. I’d go unless you really can’t afford it and your son can eat what he can.

YellowAsteroid · 13/07/2024 21:48

Presumably you’re paying for yours and your DS’s travel and accommodation to attend your friend’s wedding. I don’t think you’re obliged to participate in all these expensive meals as well, particularly as that sort of food is not what you usually eat especially your DS.

It’s a bit mean (vulgar and money-grubbing really) for your friend to expect you to stump up costs of travel and staying in a chateau but that she isn’t hosting you all to at least one of the meals beforehand. Sounds like aspiration without the means to achieve it, frankly.

If the chateau is like most I’ve stayed in there’s a village nearby and a decent cafe where they’ll do you a nice simple meal your DS will like. Go for a walk to the village and suit yourself rather than pay a huge amount on gussied up food - I mean, the menu you describe is lovely, but not all the time or for a young boy!

EatTheGnome · 13/07/2024 21:29

Hey, thanks for the invite! The food on the first night is really not my cup of tea and I'll be heading off before the Sunday meal but thank you so much for thinking of us. Let's get a takeaway when you're back from your honeymoon and have your photos back 😁 xx

halava · 13/07/2024 21:25

Is the wedding reception not enough mingling with others FGS? I'd go a bit mad and would decline with the "tired after travelling" reason. Sorry to say it, but no one will either miss you or mind, they can enjoy their own company. Will you be able to get you and DS something to eat elsewhere though, because if you are stuck in Le Chateau it might cost the same to eat there as at Maison Foie Gras anyway.

With a DS in tow (not sure what age), I'm a bit alarmed at the fact that there is only fruit available until the reception meal at 8pm though! Having said that maybe breakfast is also provided by Le Chateau!

You will be making the effort to get there and join in the wedding itself, and presumably the brunch on the day after. That would be more than enough socialising for me, but I am not a wedding lover. Maybe that explains it for me.

theeyeofdoe · 13/07/2024 21:22

If she’s asked, she won’t mind if you say no. Just say he’ll be tired and you’ll have already eaten.

PasteldeNata78 · 13/07/2024 21:20

Gall10 · 13/07/2024 21:14

If a couple decide to have their nuptials in France and invite guests to a pre-wedding meal then I’d expect them to foot the bill! Sorry. And NO do not expect your child…or any other human being …to eat foil gras. It’s cruelty in the extreme.

This OP.
You've already forked out for flights (and accomodation possibly?) the only thing you absolutely need to attend is the wedding itself. If your friend throws a strop about you declining anything optional she's a twat

KateDelRick · 13/07/2024 21:15

@Gall10 I agree.

Gall10 · 13/07/2024 21:14

If a couple decide to have their nuptials in France and invite guests to a pre-wedding meal then I’d expect them to foot the bill! Sorry. And NO do not expect your child…or any other human being …to eat foil gras. It’s cruelty in the extreme.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 13/07/2024 21:06

There's going to be fruit in the rooms on sat morn and then the wedding dinner is at 8pm. On Sunday there is brunch provided.

OP posts: