Wedding abroad night before meal

There are lots of things that are "once in a lifetime" but woujd not be fun. Being hungry and feeling broke are not fun.

So work out logistics and whether fun can be had. If you cab go into the city Sunday I'd also do that Friday and stock up on food. Ask about fridges in rooms and logistics.
Everyone going for communal meals and splitting bills (how is drinks covered) if not got a lot of money won't be fun.

I would miss the meal. I wouldn’t eat that never mind any of my kids.
I do think you need to proper research the location and logistics of getting to and from the chateaux. Some of these chateaux are in the middle of knowhere. And getting to a town or village may not be a straight forward as you think. Arriving late and getting a taxi may cost you more than the money you’d save by not going to this meal.

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Tend to agree.
It's nice but sounds like you can't really afford it.

Son is 16.

Ok so in this case I think push yourself to go the wedding but skip the meal to relives one bit of pressure. Look at the airport and see if there is a cafe or something at arrivals you can go to.

I think a lot of what you have posted is you talking yourself out of not going to the meal or potentially the wedding. Just rip the plaster off one of those now.

She might be aware of flights so I would just say that you can’t afford it and will pick up something on the way but thank you so much for the invite and wish her a lovely time.

Bit of a drip feed that you are veggie - why can't you just be honest and say that it's so expensive for food neither of you will eat? Seems more sensible than making complicated travel arrangements just to avoid it.

The veggie bit you do need to check in advance- although most cater for veggies nowadays some French restaurants simply don't. If they don't then that makes your decision very easy

so the email itself it sounds like in actual fact you cannot it either.

But the main issue is that you don’t want to go. So maybe don’t? There may be some expenses you can’t get back but if you go you will be spending more anyway.

Is she a very close friend and worth pushing to go for? Do you regularly avoid this kind of thing du to anxiety and maybe that’s a reason to push yourself?

Flying makes you anxious so you just have simple food on arrival?

But I am wondering what you'll eat on all those other meals? Sounds like no food is provided and no where to get any? Or live off sandwiches for 3 days. Not ideal!

Agree just be honest and say that meal doesn't work for us and we'll stay at the chateau quietly.

It's totally ok to not go. It doesn't have to be "embarrassing" just say "we're too tired from all the travel to launch straight unto party mode we need a quiet evening"

I have been a vegetarian at nice restaurants in remote parts of France and have had a grim experience every time. It's fine in paris or a big city but in more out-of-the-way places it's awful - like they hear "I don't want to eat meat" as "I don't want my food to be nutritionally balanced or taste interesting" and they give you a plate of sliced tomatoes. You'll still pay £56 for it though.

Just take some food from home in your hand luggage that you and DS can eat while watching some downloaded film on whatever portable device you have. You can take any food that doesn't contain meat, milk or milk-products in from the UK. If DS needs foods in these categories you might be able to buy them in airport stores after landing.

If this were me and my DS (we would be equally dismayed by the meal on offer) I would take some m&s felafel (which are much nicer than other supermarket felafel and good cold) houmous, veg sticks and pitta and some sweet treats for afterwards. We'd have a big lunch and be perfectly content with an evening watching a marvel superhero movie for the eleventybillionth time.

Don't engineer to arrive late. It's not wrong or embarrassing to need quiet time to decompress and get used to your surroundings after a day of travel.

I'm not veggie - but refuse to go to restaurants that serve foie gras.
not reasonable to let her book and then deliberately turn up too late to go though.
Be up front - tell her you don't fancy the menu, you're happy to do your own thing. have a nice evening with DS & enjoy the wedding.

It definitely sounds like the type of place where the village might only have one restaurant or a restaurant that is only open in the evenings when it’s booked so I wouldn’t rely on there being other dinner options and honestly, while it’s possible to subsist on suitcase snacks for 24 hours, it sounds a bit miserable. I imagine a lot of people will have cars and drive into the village for lunch on the Saturday too, before the wedding.

It sounds more like the couple have arranged a set menu at a local restaurant, but I imagine they need to know in advance the number of people, so if OP says yes but then changes her mind on the day she’ll be charged. Otherwise not.

Yes you can contact the venue in advance to ask about taxis to local village (and ask about breakfast on Sat/Sun). Also do some research on Google maps.

How are you getting to the chateau in the first place? If a private taxi can you get them to stop off at nearby supermarket (carrefour and leclerc and casino are the big names, also lidl and aldi in france) for some food.

I would need to eat something more than fruit between Friday night dinner and Saturday night dinner!

I'm going to agree with pp and think that you may well be charged for that evening meal, as it seems to be part of the event. I was once stung in a similar way, and being vegetarian, could only eat some bread and cheese. Often these set ups aren't flexible.

You could have declined the whole thing and spent the money taking both your children away. Just do the bits you want to do and don't worry about what others think.

Jesus, bring some trail mix and a few snack bars 😵‍💫

I'm also in the be honest camp...its expensive your ds wont eat and you'll be arring late and tired after the travel.

don’t do that. You might still have to pay for your meal! In most places you have to cancel in advance as they prepare the food pp. You can’t just rock up and say you have already eaten. Tell your friend in advance so you don’t get charged. i am sure though they are also able to provide an alternative meal (what do the vegetarians eat?) if you ask in advance.

Depending on where the chateau is it might be a challenge getting to the next village. Have you researched this?

I think you should say you will be arriving late and won't make it.
So what if you arrive earlier.
Bring snacks.
If you are poor that is a lot of money to spend on a regular friend.
Many would have declined.

Decline saying there’s nothing your ds will eat and no veggie option, so it makes it very expensive to pick at a few bits.

I think I’d have declined the whole wedding given the expense and that your Dd wasn’t invited. I’d really be expecting them to foot the bill considering they’ve asked people to spend ridiculous amounts getting to their wedding.

I'd decline on the basis that there's no veggie option, I wouldn't be paying full price to nibble at things because I can't order a veggie meal

How do you know it isn't ethically produced foie gras?