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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to be watched by cameras

59 replies

Englishrose223 · 13/07/2024 19:35

I'm babysitting my neices (6 and 3) while sister and brother in law are out for the evening. She has cameras in both of their rooms and can listen in and watch and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. She's been texting me about what the kids are doing (eg one was playing with a toy in bed) and asking me to go back upstairs to see to them. I wish she'd just leave me to it.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 13/07/2024 20:38

At 6 and 3, I wouldn't think it was normal to have cameras monitoring in the bedrooms.

I'd be telling my sister that she has a choice here, to switch off and enjoy her evening out, leaving me and trusting me to mind her children, or to cut her evening short and come home and do the hands on minding of her children for herself, rather than micro managing from afar.

gamerchick · 13/07/2024 20:38

Tell her to get he arse home as you've had enough. I'd have the row me.

GoneFishingToday · 13/07/2024 20:36

Englishrose223 · 13/07/2024 20:14

That's the issue. Just leave me to it. Either you trust me to look after your kids or you don't.

So why don't you just say this to her OP? If you're not happy, then tell her so, then if she does it one more time, just tell her you're going home, you're not even being paid, and you sure don't expect to be micromanaged when you're doing her a favour!

catscalledbeanz · 13/07/2024 20:35

Cameras are acceptable. The micromanagement is not. Your sister should be ashamed of herself.

Ilovecleaning · 13/07/2024 20:32

She’s your sister, just tell her to sod off. So many people on MN seem afraid of their own nearest and dearest.

noctilucentcloud · 13/07/2024 20:30

NoraLuka · 13/07/2024 20:19

Is it really normal to have cameras in kids’ rooms now? 😱 Admittedly I’m about 15 years out of the toddler stage but I don’t know anyone who did this.

OP, yanbu. If I knew someone had cameras in their house I’d never set foot in the place!

I completely agree. Babies ok but a 6 year old deserves some privacy.

outdamnedspots · 13/07/2024 20:28

Cinocino · 13/07/2024 19:45

Surely it’s normal for people to have baby monitors in their young kids bedrooms?
The suggestion to put something over it are nuts imo. It would be incredibly alarming if someone was minding my kids and covered the baby monitor.
It’s not like there are cameras watching you around the house!

In what world is it normal to watch the cameras when out for an evening and issue orders to the unpaid babysitter through them?? Fuck. That.

Ghost2 · 13/07/2024 20:25

She's your sister, just tell her it makes you uncomfortable being watched and ask her not to. If she says no, don't babysit again.

Hatfullofwillow · 13/07/2024 20:22

I'd wait until the kids are asleep, put a sheet on and pretend to be a ghost for the cameras.

Zanatdy · 13/07/2024 20:20

Really rude of her. She should switch them off when you’re babysitting or unplug them until you leave the kids in bed. Tell her you find it uncomfortable. I never had any cameras in my kids rooms, baby monitor for sound when under 1, but not cameras and I wouldn’t have expected a babysitter to be comfortable with them

NoraLuka · 13/07/2024 20:19

Is it really normal to have cameras in kids’ rooms now? 😱 Admittedly I’m about 15 years out of the toddler stage but I don’t know anyone who did this.

OP, yanbu. If I knew someone had cameras in their house I’d never set foot in the place!

Sweetswede · 13/07/2024 20:18

Cinocino · 13/07/2024 19:45

Surely it’s normal for people to have baby monitors in their young kids bedrooms?
The suggestion to put something over it are nuts imo. It would be incredibly alarming if someone was minding my kids and covered the baby monitor.
It’s not like there are cameras watching you around the house!

It might be common, but I wouldn't say it's "normal". Definitely not healthy to be monitoring children in this way

VivX · 13/07/2024 20:17

Icanttakethisanymore · 13/07/2024 20:09

The cameras wouldn’t bother me per se but I definitely wouldn’t tolerate the micromanaging while I was there doing them a favour.

This. Micromanaging over a nanny cam is ridiculous. I'd be tempted to reply with "if you're not happy, then come home and do it yourself, then"

Englishrose223 · 13/07/2024 20:14

Icanttakethisanymore · 13/07/2024 20:09

The cameras wouldn’t bother me per se but I definitely wouldn’t tolerate the micromanaging while I was there doing them a favour.

That's the issue. Just leave me to it. Either you trust me to look after your kids or you don't.

OP posts:
Icanttakethisanymore · 13/07/2024 20:09

The cameras wouldn’t bother me per se but I definitely wouldn’t tolerate the micromanaging while I was there doing them a favour.

Englishrose223 · 13/07/2024 20:06

No I won't be babysitting again. Not if it's going to be like this.

OP posts:
pyjamalife · 13/07/2024 19:53

Cinocino · 13/07/2024 19:45

Surely it’s normal for people to have baby monitors in their young kids bedrooms?
The suggestion to put something over it are nuts imo. It would be incredibly alarming if someone was minding my kids and covered the baby monitor.
It’s not like there are cameras watching you around the house!

So normal. Whilst I won't use a wifi one, personally, if I did I would look in on them when I'm not around.

TemuSpecialBuy · 13/07/2024 19:53

Get through tonight as best you can and NEVER agree to babysit again.

totally intolerable behaviour.
disgraceful of her really.

Cinocino · 13/07/2024 19:51

Englishrose223 · 13/07/2024 19:49

I know she has cameras, I didn't know I would receive orders through them constantly.

Are you receiving orders constantly though? Your OP mentions one thing, being asked to remove a toy from one of the kids in bed. Maybe it was something that would keep her up, maybe it was a dangerous toy for the younger one to have unattended etc.

user1471538275 · 13/07/2024 19:51

Then stop doing this.

You are allowing them to treat you this way - like you're some sort of minion or servant.

I would not tolerate this - who would?

Let them pay for childcare - and believe me they will be very short of babysitters if they try this.

Englishrose223 · 13/07/2024 19:50

No I'm not being paid, I'm never paid. I look after one of them for the whole day once a month at least and am not paid.

OP posts:
ricecrispiecakes · 13/07/2024 19:49

Monitors are one thing, but it's totally inappropriate to spy on your babysitter and message them to tell them what to do.

Englishrose223 · 13/07/2024 19:49

I know she has cameras, I didn't know I would receive orders through them constantly.

OP posts:
user1471538275 · 13/07/2024 19:49

I cannot imagine any nanny or child care professional agreeing to this.

user1471538275 · 13/07/2024 19:46

It is not normal for someone who is out for the night to be rude enough to issue orders to the person who is caring for their children by remote.

You either trust that person or you don't.

If you do, enjoy your evening. If you don't come home and do the work yourself.