No hen do because I actually have no friends 😔

I didn't have a hen either, nor any recent birthday parties, baby showers etc. I didn't even have people at my wedding! Have lots of acquaintances but very, very few people I would spend any reasonable amount of money or time on/expect it spent on me. Never really bothered me although the other day I did see a FB post from my previous 'best friend' (that I've drifted apart from) had her hen and had 20 or so people with her and it did make me a bit sad that I can't really muster more than one person for these types of occasions.

Take your Mum for that mini-break! Grab a cottage in the lakes in or near a nice town with a decent restaurant. Hike, eat, go on a boat trip, get muddy! In case your Mum isn't into steep hills, a lot of the lakes have quite flat routes round the edges which have lovely views, though you still need decent footwear, as they're not paved in the main.

What about if you and your mum went to one of these "experience" days like the indoor skydiving (they have 3 centres).

www.virginexperiencedays.co.uk/adventure?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwy8i0BhAkEiwAdFaeGL7MIcJ3eNJWX7PoRWCphyOMNnMYflsoJU2GszYZUyhXHBHLpLDoihoC074QAvD_BwE

Your mum wouldn't have to skydive, she could cheer you on and then the two of you could go for a lovely meal afterwards.

Totally agree with this.
The number of threads on MN about hen parties, and stag dos, that have caused real life changing troubles and upsets for lots of people - those invited to the the hen parties, those not invited, relatives, the couple themselves. And they've even caused the wedding to be cancelled.

Why should you think less of yourself because you aren't going to have a hen do? I think it's a badge if honour that marks you out as an individual .

Focus on the fact you are marrying someone you love. Who you want to spend your life with. That's the important thing . The whole point .

As Bluebell says if they are happy for you to go along go to your DH's. I think that sounds great and shows how compatible you are with him and his pals. His best man sounds brilliant.

I would just do something nice with your mum. Tradition doesn’t matter, you do what you will enjoy. Why don’t you book a little trip together doing stuff you two would enjoy?
If it makes you feel any better op, I would struggle to get enough women together for a hen do too.
It’s a shame you feel left out at work. Have you been there a long time? Would you feel comfortable inviting one or two of them out for lunch or a drink after work? It’s hard when friendship groups are already formed.

You have choices:
Go to the stag with them and enjoy the fact they invited you along
Get together with your sister and mother and have a spa weekend or a weekend abroad somewhere. Instead of focusing on what you don;t have, think about what time you'd like to spend with them, prior to marriage.

You could ask work colleagues to come for a drink after work as a sort of secondary mini hen (don't call it that - just pre-wedding drinks) They might get to see the real you a bit more and start including you in things.

Of all the hens I went on in my 20’s and 30’s I am hardly friends with any of them any more… I also have 2 Friends who don’t speak to any of their bridesmaids any more… for various reason.

friends come and go…..

There's nothing wrong with being shy and quiet OP

I'm the same, I've made one friend from work ever (I'm 44) because we're both runners. I do have other friends but not loads.

I quite fancy signing up to one of those adventure week/ weekends. I see a lot advertised on social media and loads of the reviews are from people who go on their own, have a smashing time & make some friends. Why not do something like that?

Same, what I’m wishing I had done was booked myself a relaxing spa weekend or just something I like. Even if thats my favourite movie, a bottle of wine and takeout. take a day out and do something you would really like to do for yourself. Honestly years later I forget I didn’t have a hen do. Doesn’t bother me at all.

Why don’t you suggest a STEN and invite your partners friends girlfriends/wives? You could suggest a couples night first and if it goes well and you’re all enjoying, suggest it while you’re together!
To be honest most of my husband’s friends are my friends husbands so think it’s quite normal to make friends that way.

You could also do the classic weekend in Brighton and Hove - book to join something with one of the women's meet ups there.

I think you should book a girls adrenaline weekend somewhere. Something like Gutsy Girls. Age is irrevelant. That sounds like how you want to celebrate 🍾

It’s not against the law to get married without having a hen do - I really wouldn’t worry about having one.

too much emphasis nowadays on stag weekends and hen weekends and spending crazy amounts of money on Instagram weddings…

focus on your love and future together. All these ‘trappings’ are just unimportant

I had the same issue—I just didn't have any real friends for a hen do, so I did nothing. In hindsight, I wish I had taken my mum on a weekend away, as she passed away a couple of years later. But I never missed the actual 'hen do' as those things never appealed to me anyway, especially the hysterical (IMHO) kind with matching outfits etc.

@OrchardBlack snap

Just go with DH if he and the best man are happy for you to . Why not? Have fun! 🍾🎉

Friendships can be a deep river or more of a trickle depending on time of life. At school we are surrounded by people our age and after having dc you tend to move in groups of people at a similar life stage. I’m not sure it’s so unusual to drift a bit in between. But take note for when you do get back in a social pool that friendships are worth cultivating and maintaining.

Do your fiancée's friends have girlfriends/wives you get on with?
How about rather than seeing it as a hen/stag, it could be a couple weekend away, with some activities just girls/just boys and some all together.

I didn't have a hen either, I'm a bit self conscious and didn't want the whole stripper, blow up penis thing. But I and 2 friends went to visit our friend who lives in Devon for a chilled weekend - more coffees by the beach and pub lunches than crazy nights out, but was nice

You are not far from me and I’m more than happy to go to your hen party.
I’m in Herts. 🙂
Perhaps bowling or bingo you would like? I’m not a weirdo I promise.😁

Are there women on the stag do? If so you may as well just join them. But if no then not really.

I'll throw you a hen OP! Where we going? 🍾

Do you have a bridal party? Can you just do something with them? Your OH has a best man so I assume you have a MoH?

Do you normally do those things with other people?

I agree with pp who said hens are over rated. Especially huge ones with way too many people who hardly know each other. Best hen I was at was a friend of mines . There were only 3 of us including the hen and we went away for a night and had dinner and a few drinks. It was lovely. I’d actually rather go for dinner with my DM than go on some of the awful hens I’ve been on in the past.

Well at least you don't have to call yourself a hen. It's so stupid. But a weekend break with your mum and sister might be nice