How to stop DD embarrassing me?

No one is saying it automatically means anything. And school have just said she is well behaved. Are you saying well behaved children can't be ND??

So you think a child having a tantrum automatically means their ND like most of mumsnet do or do you think you should listen to her actual mother and school who are saying she isnt

Your statement on the production of melatonin in people who supplement is not supported by any research evidence.

And on the other side of the coin, you see girls labelled with EUPD when they should have an autism diagnosis have their lives actually ruined.

The answer isn't to gatekeep scarce resources though. It's an odd way to think. Scarce resources are an absolute disgrace.

How do you know it's unnecessary? What's the harm in being screened? They do that first and only if that suggests ND do you get an assessment. It is not easy to get a diagnosis at all.

Have you ever thought the reason they don't work for everyone is because there is a significant amount of people wrongly diagnosed as for melatonin when a person takes it their body stops naturally producing in which means by the time your child is an adult they will likely suffer severe insomnia. I'd be fuming if my parents did that to me.

But you're unaware that neurodiversity manifests in a range of different ways, not just the way yours does...

Those meds don't work for everyone with ADHD, but for those it does, it gives them a calmer mind. Melatonin is not a drug, it's something naturally made by the body that can be lacking in ND people and it's solid to get for some reason. As are ADHD meds. If you had any experience in it, then you would know that.

I'm just tired of children being labelled unnecessarily it effects their whole life and it limits valued resources from families who genuinely need them. The average time on the nhs for a sen assessment in my area is over 2 years, and that is mainly due to social media telling everyone their ND

Hitting and public humiliation? That isn't discipline. How depressing that some people still think that treating children this way is appropriate.

Who hurt you man? Hope your weekend gets better.

Their are currently 5 different medicines available on the nhs for adhd and also God knows how many others that parents are drugging their children with to get them to sleep.

She sounds exactly like my DD who's autistic. She masked all the time at school and quite a bit at home by copying her older sister.
However when she had a meltdown it was horrible punching walls, hitting me and dad, hysterical tears. She was diagnosed at 10 but I knew much earlier.
Is she spoiled or is it more that you arrange things so she doesn't have a meltdown? I still do this to a certain extent although my DD has learned her own coping strategies.
I now get accused of spoiling my youngest but he has a huge amount of additional needs and it's trying to arrange things so he doesn't have a meltdown.
If she is violent towards you or her brother you leave whenever you are or move her to another area (but don't leave her on her own because if she is ND it won't end well), tell her you don't hit and you are sad.
When she is calm ask if she wants to say sorry and have a cuddle but explain there are no screens today because she made a bad choice.
It worked for us to a certain extent but didn't cure the meltdowns but like I say my DD is autistic so if you are sure your DD isn't you might need a different approach.
What's her speech like? Is she hitting because she can't explain how she feels.
Also she feels safe with you and doesn't feel she has to pretend everything is okay whereas at school it's a totally different situation.

And their wouldn't be such a long waitlist for sen assessments if parents stopped being told their child is ND because of a tantrum. Then the children who genuinely need help would get it in a timely manner

Eh, what drugs are these then?

It will certainly save a ton of money on SEN assessments if we just take parents' word for it!

I also completely disagree with people claiming this child is ND. Her own mother says she is not… I think she’d be the best judge? She just doesn’t like being told no, neither do any of my 3 children who are NT. They all kick off because they don’t want to leave the park, tidy their room, get off the iPad etc… but we do have to leave the park, tidy their room or get off the iPad after 2 hours. They kick and scream then accept they can’t have their own way 24:7.

I am ND so I'm fully aware it's a hell of a lot more then a tantrum because a child didn't want to leave the park

You need to come down hard op, she needs to know she’s not going to get her own way and if that means kicking and screaming in the middle of tescos… cool go for it. Walk away. She still won’t win. You have to be in control.

What a fantastic post demonstrating how some people completely lack any understanding of what neurodiversity is, how it can manifest, how it can be handled to create functioning young adults in many cases and of course how in the vast majority of cases you don't get any benefits. What a lovely sneer that was, well done!

Again, the ignorance is astounding.

@HEllo114 you just almost exactly described my autistic son when he was that age. You are the safe space, they mask the rest of the time and it falls apart when they feel safe.

There are no "drugs" for ASD and its unbelievably hard to get a diagnosis (especially in girls).

This isn’t normal behaviour and you need to take firm steps to get it in hand now.

different things work for different kids.
Check out bratbusters on IG

she’s American but it’s simple and no nonsense. my DH and I find it straight forward and while our ddis younger it works well. I really see the difference in our DDs behaviour. She’s very strong willed (even our CM who is a total pro and has been around the block said this to us)

As an example, she’s not quite 2.5 we were in a supermarket and she wanted a biscuit I said no 🫣 and she took a minute to assess the situation, saw I meant business? And accepted it.
8 weeks ago it would have been a full meltdown.
We do countdown in the playground and she goes along with it and goes home no issue now. I would have been shocked if you told my this was possible 2 months ago