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AIBU?

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Aibu to want to go home

608 replies

geekygirldoesnotfitin · 13/07/2024 14:19

Hi

A friend of mine asked me to go on holiday with her and a few of her friends. I don't know these friends but she begged me saying she really wanted me there. I agreed and paid for my trip.

When I turned up to the airport there were two different groups of her friends. Neither group really know each other but both groups are close friends.

That's fine. I only know my friend who asked me to come but was happy to get to know others.

Since we arrived I have chatted and asked about each person and got on with the holiday. Some of the friends have chatted here and there.

My friend has tended to stick with one group in particular and I haven't had much chance to spend time with her. Again fine with me normal as I don't expect to me joined at the hip.

It's become very obvious that I'm the odd one out. For whatever reason people don't seem to want to engage with me. I have reflected to make sure I haven't said or done anything to hurt or upset anyone and I honestly don't think I have.

Initially it was just them chatting amongst themselves but now they are actively avoiding me.

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.
I'm a bit quieter than most but I do chat and show an interest.

Yesterday I became very unwell unexpectedly and had to lay down in my room for the afternoon. This morning the groups had made plans and I tagged along with one. I ended up walking behind alone as they were walking next to each other and there was no room unless I stepped in the road. When I came down this morning after being in my room poorly no one said hello but when someone else came just after they made a big fuss and had already messaged the person to check they were ok.

I'm a big girl and can accept that people don't like me or don't want me around but it seems the more I go do my own thing the more they are annoyed when I return.

I feel quite alone and confused.

I'm the only one here who is a mum with young dc. I miss my dc and feel like I should try get a flight home early on my own. If I was able to be involved and felt welcome that would be fine but I just can't seem to do the right thing and I'm starting to feel self conscious and a bit upset.

I have a few days left and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 13/07/2024 14:32

I'd either leave and not say anything or make the most of the time there to relax and do what I want.

Either way I'd not bother maintaining the friendship anymore.

ChickenDeChick · 13/07/2024 14:32

I'd go home op, I'd find it too awkward to enjoy myself even if I tried to do my own thing they would still be around.

Sorry this has happened to you 😕

BuggeryBumFlaps · 13/07/2024 14:30

If you can afford it I'd get a flight back asap.

Your friend isn't really a friend if she's not making you feel welcome and actively trying to involve you in what's going on. Her friends are not nice people.

MeAgainAndAgain · 13/07/2024 14:29

What would it cost to go home early and can you afford that?

Otherwise, just focus on having a decent time. Can you do your own thing, are there places to visit etc?

And I’m not sure I’d engage particularly with the friend any more. I’m presuming she can see what is going on. She knows you are here knowing only one person. She knows everyone else is here in a group.

Put yourself first. Everyone else is putting themselves first.

Yellowrayofsunshine · 13/07/2024 14:29

Hi op, sorry this has happened to you. This has happened to me in the past on a much smaller scale (5 of us) and i stuck it out and it didn’t get any better, I wished idve gone home early. It sounds like being back in high school to be honest, it doesn’t cost anything to be friendly, don’t waste anymore time, please go home and see your dc, and chalk it up to a bad experience. I wish I did.

Mrsknowitall · 13/07/2024 14:29

How long of the holiday do you have left? If it was me I think I’d do my own thing, get a good book and read it by the pool, go for a nice spa treatment, find a nice restaurant and go for a meal then go home to your children all refreshed, forget the others now and make your own plans, try not to feel hurt and make the most of YOUR time then when you get back tell your friend to never persuade you to do that again, she’s out of order and no friend to you knowing that you knew nobody else there she should of made you the priority friend as everyone else knew someone. It’s really shitty behaviour of all of them.

geekygirldoesnotfitin · 13/07/2024 14:28

I asked my friend if everything is ok but she also seems to be avoiding me. I honestly think of anything I have done wrong. I'm not sure why my friend invited me to be honest.

I have asked people about them and shown an interest in their lives and conversations but no one has bothered to get to know me or ask questions about me and when I mention anything about my life that is relevant they do a little false laugh.

I feel I must be annoying and that's fine as I can't be everyone's cup of tea but it is difficult when I am away with these people.

I am quite different to both groups as I'm the only mum and I do look and dress differently to them.

OP posts:
Rattai · 13/07/2024 14:23

That sounds horrible... have you had chance to chat to your friend about how you feel? Would she be horrified to realise how you are being treated?

I would go home if it's that bad ( unless there's anything you can do yourself to enjoy this time...eg spa treatments etc)

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