Aibu to want to go home

I think this is bang on. Essentially you are a human shield for her so SHE doesn't get left out.

I literally cannot ever imagine behaving in this way to anyone. I'm sorry you're being treated like this. Either fly home or have a lovely time doing your own thing. I would probably be very direct with your friend first but honestly she is someone I would be putting on my ex friend list.

She’s not your friend lovely, no friend would treat you so badly. If you can afford to do it, go home.

3 days could feel like a lifetime with these vile women, especially as you’re now very aware of their behaviour. People can be so despicable - your ‘friend’ needs a swift exit from your life from now on.

I'd go home early if it was at all possible, in your shoes, as long as it didn't cost too much to change flights etc. It sounds as if you have tried everything and it's not really worked, so I'd call it a day. They weren't your friends, they aren't going to be your friends, you'll never see them again (I hope), so don't worry what they think of you. Just send your 'friend' a text from the airport.

Obv, you haven't done anything, I'd likely say, I'm a mum and don't get a girls' trip every day and really looked forward to meeting new people and having some fun. I feel like I'm not fitting in here. Have I done something to offend?
Based on their response you can decide to stay and continue to try and join, do things on your own or leave.

“Starting to think I'm annoying without realising it.”
I highly doubt there is anything wrong with you whereas they sound absolutely vile.
Send them a link to this thread and see what they say. I’m not sure how any adult could justify the way they are treating you.
Please don’t start doubting yourself OP.

this might help - most people think of themselves. They might be trying to fit in with each other especially if they haven’t been away together before or very often. I doubt they dislike you but are simply self centred.

you have a rare chance to get some sun (it’s overcast here) and have rest from parenting, stop focusing on being mates with random people and enjoy your lounger, swim etc. Book a treatment. Join them for dinner yes of course but lower your expectations about ‘making friends’ just think of them almost
as business colleagues does that make sense?

"I asked my friend if everything is ok but she also seems to be avoiding me."
She's not your friend. In fact, she's a bit of a cunt (and that's not a word I use often).

I would look into getting a flight home. This isn't a holiday for you, holidays are fun. And I'd cut this woman out of my life completely on my return.

((hug))

If it were me, I’d just leave and take an earlier flight home. I’d not tell anyone, they wouldn’t care anyway. But out of interest, I’d see how long it took someone to contact me.

They’re not your friends. Well, they weren’t anyway, but neither is your other ‘friend’. She invited you to make up numbers and someone she is clearly influenced by has criticised you, and she’s now avoiding you too. Shit behaviour from shit people.

Where have I made excuses for anyone? The OP's 'friend' who invited her should be, if anyone, the person who feels responsible for making sure she's not feeling left out, but as she appears to have washed her hands of her, it's not clear whether anyone else will even have noticed, as she's a total stranger to them.

If they're two essentially separate groups, who don't really know one another but are tight-knit within each group, it's perfectly possible each group thinks she's a member of the other group. It's likely no one (other than the 'friend who invited her?) is being consciously unpleasant. they're just not seeing beyond their own group. Most people, most of the time, aren't actively malicious, just thoughtless.

It sounds like a pretty weird holiday dynamic, anyway, if there are two groups who barely know one another apart from via the OP's friend, and she has 'chosen' one group over the other, plus the poor OP, who knows no one other than her 'friend', is feeling unwell, and is missing her child.

Best wishes, OP and hope you find something fun for yourself between now and going home. 💐

I agree with this, they know what they're doing and so does your so called friend. I'd find out how much a flight home would be then if it wasn't extortionate I'd go home, sure what you'd spend on meals, drinks and other activities could be similar cost of a return flight but you wouldn't have to be treated appallingly by those wagons.

If you decide to go home I wouldn't bother even telling them you're going, I'd just go and block them and let them figure it out.

I wouldn't go home, but I would move to a different hotel and spend the rest of my days doing my own thing and enjoying my own company. Then I'd just pop my sunglasses on and blank them at the airport if I'm getting the same flight home as them.

I'm sorry you're in this situation, OP. You sound like a decent and considerate person. They all sound like spineless bullies.

If you can go home, then that's what I'd advise you to do. To completely remove yourself from them isn't going to possible, assuming you're sharing rooms, and if you're all inclusive?

Is there a group chat for everyone? I think I'd just get organised and leave. Send a message from the airport and say you've gone home. Nothing more or less, then block, including the friend.

She deserves no more explanation than the rest of them. Shame on her.

To be honest @geekygirldoesnotfitin it’s up to your friend to introduce you, check in with you etc and not the others … it is extremely unlikely you have done anything wrong. I’d try and enjoy the last few days doing what I want, unless the airline might let you change dates for a low fee and you really can’t stick it out.

Sorry you're having a shit time, OP. Both groups sound really rude and childish.

Since you're already away, I would research some places/activities that you would love to do and just go on your own. No need to explain or apologise to the others; just imagine it as a little 'me time' break away from the responsibilities of home.

I’d either go home, not bothering to tell them or your so called friend, or if not possible i’d just do my own thing. Either way I wouldnt bother with any of them.

What absolute horrible people to do this to you. I'd love friends to go on holiday with but I don't have any. Enjoy your own company for now, chat to other friends on the phone, face time your family , enjoy being you xx

An 'influencer'? Ha ha, that's tragic. I would fuck them off OP, go do your own thing, and have the best time you can in the last three days.

If you can go home then do, if not then distance yourself completely and do your own thing. I wouldn’t sit near them or engage at all anymore but I do think you should tell your so called friend that you think she’s behaved really badly and you are done. Maybe wait til your home if you don’t want to risk a backlash but their behaviour is awful and you should tell her.

^X100

Where are you? Is it somewhere you could book any excursions by yourself?
I think id try and just please myself for 3 days.
You havent done anything wrong. Try and get some relaxation in, some swimming, reading, sightseeing etc.
Fuck them all.

Big hug op - it sounds awful and shame on your friend for allowing this nonsense.

If it was me I’d go home to your family who love and cherish you. And block your friend.

I'd go home, these people aren't worth your time, I'd message the friend from the airport to say you're taking an early flight home (if you don't say anything then you'll be accused of making them faux worry you'd gone missing) but no other explanation. They are cows, pure and simple.

I bet you were invited to make up the numbers to spread the cost. Perhaps someone cancelled. Your friend is a total cow for allowing you to be excluded like this. If you leave now they might invite one of their other friends to fly out and have your space so I would be tempted to stay, do your own thing and not make any effort with any of them and then block the lot when you get home.

You poor thing. It's bullying really to actively exclude you like that and I can't believe your friend isn't doing more. My cousin's hen weekend was like that. I felt really excluded, mostly by my cousin who was the only one I knew out of the group and who had insisted that I come! I saw her true colours then. She really couldn't have cared less if I was there or not

YANBU. I'd feel exactly the same

If you do go home I wouldn’t bother explaining anything. They know why and will feel victorious then start on your friend because she invited you