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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to want to go home

608 replies

geekygirldoesnotfitin · 13/07/2024 14:19

Hi

A friend of mine asked me to go on holiday with her and a few of her friends. I don't know these friends but she begged me saying she really wanted me there. I agreed and paid for my trip.

When I turned up to the airport there were two different groups of her friends. Neither group really know each other but both groups are close friends.

That's fine. I only know my friend who asked me to come but was happy to get to know others.

Since we arrived I have chatted and asked about each person and got on with the holiday. Some of the friends have chatted here and there.

My friend has tended to stick with one group in particular and I haven't had much chance to spend time with her. Again fine with me normal as I don't expect to me joined at the hip.

It's become very obvious that I'm the odd one out. For whatever reason people don't seem to want to engage with me. I have reflected to make sure I haven't said or done anything to hurt or upset anyone and I honestly don't think I have.

Initially it was just them chatting amongst themselves but now they are actively avoiding me.

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.
I'm a bit quieter than most but I do chat and show an interest.

Yesterday I became very unwell unexpectedly and had to lay down in my room for the afternoon. This morning the groups had made plans and I tagged along with one. I ended up walking behind alone as they were walking next to each other and there was no room unless I stepped in the road. When I came down this morning after being in my room poorly no one said hello but when someone else came just after they made a big fuss and had already messaged the person to check they were ok.

I'm a big girl and can accept that people don't like me or don't want me around but it seems the more I go do my own thing the more they are annoyed when I return.

I feel quite alone and confused.

I'm the only one here who is a mum with young dc. I miss my dc and feel like I should try get a flight home early on my own. If I was able to be involved and felt welcome that would be fine but I just can't seem to do the right thing and I'm starting to feel self conscious and a bit upset.

I have a few days left and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Thatcat · 14/07/2024 19:53

dapsnotplimsolls · 14/07/2024 19:19

Just be grateful you are not like them.

👆

Teddybear23 · 14/07/2024 19:51

I certainly do not consider your ‘friend’ a true friend. It looks to me like she doesn’t really like you but persuaded you to come as maybe someone dropped out and they needed someone to make up the money. I’d get a flight back home now and don’t speak to your ‘friend’ again. By the way I’m sure you’re a lovely person so try not to be too disheartened. xx

time2changeCharlieBrown · 14/07/2024 19:49

geekygirldoesnotfitin · 14/07/2024 19:17

Hi

So I'm on my way home.
I managed to get an earlier flight for a decent price.

I went to eat last night and saw the group out. Friend said hi and asked if I was ok.

One of the women was ill and some of the others were being awful about her and were laughing at her. I found her back in the hotel to ask if she was ok. She was but just needed to lie down. I took her back to her room as the others had left.
I just felt so down about it and decided to come home so I can rest in my own space before going back to work.

Thank you again for all your kind words.
I have really learnt from this experience and I'm going to stick to my 3 friends who I know are genuine and my dc. I will never go on a group holiday again.

Good decision they sound immature and toxic I hope you just left no goodbye
Wonder if so called friend will contact you!

MrsOvertonsWindow · 14/07/2024 19:47

You come over as lovely OP - a sensitive and thoughtful person. I do hope you are able to put this to rest and not let their appalling behaviour impact too hard on you.
It's them not you. Flowers

user1485851222 · 14/07/2024 19:45

Have you asked the person who asked you to go, why people are ignoring you. I would. Then once I got on the plane, I would have nothing to do with any of them again. They seem a nasty bunch of women.

thevoiceofreasoning · 14/07/2024 19:43

Thanks for the update OP. I am pleased you managed to get an early flight and that you are outta there! What a bunch of horrible women! Hope you have a good journey and enjoy time before going back to work ... make sure you go out for nice treat with DC and forget those bitches!

SomewhereInTheMIdlands · 14/07/2024 19:42

How old are they? 15?

Jetstream · 14/07/2024 19:42

geekygirldoesnotfitin · 13/07/2024 14:46

We have 3 days left of the holiday.

Thanks everyone you have made me feel a bit better.

I feel it must be something I have done because why would people act like this otherwise. It's not normal is it. Starting to think I'm annoying without realising it.

I'm happy in my own company so for today at least il do my own thing. I'm sat alone but next to them now anyway.

They are all adults, very immature tbh. If you did somehow upset one of them, why just say it. Jeez, you are not a mind reader.
So, yeah, take yourself off to do your own thing for the next few days. Don’t be surprised if one or other of them start talking to you on the last day.

WhereDidItG0 · 14/07/2024 19:41

I'm really sorry this happened to you OP, but glad you went home. Flowers

BearFacedCheek · 14/07/2024 19:39

Glad you’re on your way home Op.
Their behaviour towards the other ill woman reinforces the fact they are mean bitches.
I hope you told your ‘friend’ you were not Ok.

LookItsMeAgain · 14/07/2024 19:38

If there’s a smidgen of something that you can take from this holiday, it’s that these women were clearly bitter and bitchy to not just you. The other woman who wasn’t well, she’ll remember that you were kind to her when the others didn’t give a shit!

Delighted you’re in your way home now regardless.

MrsLeonFarrell · 14/07/2024 19:37

Their behaviour is embarrassing. Thank you for looking after the person who was ill and not choosing to sink to the level of the rest of the group. You sound like a lovely person.

Toooldforthis36 · 14/07/2024 19:37

Awful awful people @geekygirldoesnotfitin you’re well shot of them.

safe travels home x

diddl · 14/07/2024 19:36

So it's not just you that they are nasty about?

Some weird dynamic going on there!

DPotter · 14/07/2024 19:36

That they were mocking the other woman who was un-well reinforces the fact it wasn't anything about you. They are just nasty people who pick on weakness as a way of entertaining themselves.

Pleased you'll be sleeping soundly in your own bed tonight

paywalled · 14/07/2024 19:35

Glad it’s over OP!

Get home and unpacked asap!

Wash your clothes and have a bath and wash all the memories away!!

I went to eat last night and saw the group out. Friend said hi and asked if I was ok.

What did you say?

Jeannie88 · 14/07/2024 19:34

That's so unkind and rude of them all, I can't imagine ever leaving anyone out. I would just go off on my own and do my own thing, enjoy some alone time. Your friend is awful, future non friend. Xx

LadyTitaniaFruitbum · 14/07/2024 19:32

How spiteful!
I remember in group settings I was always made to feel like an outsider too.
I’m sorry you were treated so badly.
Vipers the lot of them.

Itsmecathy87 · 14/07/2024 19:29

Such a weird behaviour. Any half decent person would try to include you. But perhaps they are a bunch of vain "infuencers"

Eadfrith · 14/07/2024 19:25

You do seem like a nice person, and those people are not worth your time. Like someone else has said just be glad you’re not like them. If it were me I’d be sending them some friendly messages informing them that they’re a bunch of cunts.

BileBeansSara · 14/07/2024 19:21

I went on a holiday from hell with a bunch of total bastards about 25 years ago and to this day, the smell of lemon washing up liquid triggers me.

I an far more circumspect in choosing my friends now.

anchoviesanchovies · 14/07/2024 19:20

They really are horrible. I hope you said to your friend “no I’m not actually”. Glad you’re heading home x

Bobbie1976 · 14/07/2024 19:19

Women can be bitches. I think i would head home if you can after explaining calmly how you feel to your friend. Its not you but the cats are being very territorial.

More important to be with your child.

dapsnotplimsolls · 14/07/2024 19:19

Just be grateful you are not like them.

geekygirldoesnotfitin · 14/07/2024 19:17

Hi

So I'm on my way home.
I managed to get an earlier flight for a decent price.

I went to eat last night and saw the group out. Friend said hi and asked if I was ok.

One of the women was ill and some of the others were being awful about her and were laughing at her. I found her back in the hotel to ask if she was ok. She was but just needed to lie down. I took her back to her room as the others had left.
I just felt so down about it and decided to come home so I can rest in my own space before going back to work.

Thank you again for all your kind words.
I have really learnt from this experience and I'm going to stick to my 3 friends who I know are genuine and my dc. I will never go on a group holiday again.

OP posts: