Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to want to go home

608 replies

geekygirldoesnotfitin · 13/07/2024 14:19

Hi

A friend of mine asked me to go on holiday with her and a few of her friends. I don't know these friends but she begged me saying she really wanted me there. I agreed and paid for my trip.

When I turned up to the airport there were two different groups of her friends. Neither group really know each other but both groups are close friends.

That's fine. I only know my friend who asked me to come but was happy to get to know others.

Since we arrived I have chatted and asked about each person and got on with the holiday. Some of the friends have chatted here and there.

My friend has tended to stick with one group in particular and I haven't had much chance to spend time with her. Again fine with me normal as I don't expect to me joined at the hip.

It's become very obvious that I'm the odd one out. For whatever reason people don't seem to want to engage with me. I have reflected to make sure I haven't said or done anything to hurt or upset anyone and I honestly don't think I have.

Initially it was just them chatting amongst themselves but now they are actively avoiding me.

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.
I'm a bit quieter than most but I do chat and show an interest.

Yesterday I became very unwell unexpectedly and had to lay down in my room for the afternoon. This morning the groups had made plans and I tagged along with one. I ended up walking behind alone as they were walking next to each other and there was no room unless I stepped in the road. When I came down this morning after being in my room poorly no one said hello but when someone else came just after they made a big fuss and had already messaged the person to check they were ok.

I'm a big girl and can accept that people don't like me or don't want me around but it seems the more I go do my own thing the more they are annoyed when I return.

I feel quite alone and confused.

I'm the only one here who is a mum with young dc. I miss my dc and feel like I should try get a flight home early on my own. If I was able to be involved and felt welcome that would be fine but I just can't seem to do the right thing and I'm starting to feel self conscious and a bit upset.

I have a few days left and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Hermoine2212 · 21/08/2024 18:18

I've had the exact same. It is not a reflection of your character. The way you wrote your post shows you are reflective and therefore thoughtful and you have tried engaging with them on one sided conversations and initiating so you sound kind and decent. I think it's a dissapointing case of school girl behaviour. Shocking someone in the respective groups doesn't make an effort and how they all seem comfortable treating you this way. Passive, covert bullying, exclusion and rudeness.
Sounds like your "friend"wanted to lo lower the cost of the overall trip.
I would leave. Politely, quietly, leave don't give a mn excuse just say it's OK I think I will go. Book your onwards travel be it elsewhere in same country or home. Don't say anything until the time you are leaving the accomodation and getting the taxi ir train

RampantIvy · 02/08/2024 16:36

Me too.

hideawayforever · 02/08/2024 12:31

got to admit I'm curious too.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/08/2024 07:27

It's been a couple weeks... @geekygirldoesnotfitin
Did you speak to your friend at all after returning home?
Am I the only one who's curious? 🤔

VeryHappyBunny · 26/07/2024 00:49

RampantIvy · 25/07/2024 22:14

If you select "see all" on the OP's first post you will see that she has been home for nearly two weeks.

When there are already pages of posts I usually read the first and last couple but always read all of the OPs posts then you know what's been said and done.

RampantIvy · 25/07/2024 22:14

MoreHairyThanScary · 25/07/2024 21:27

Ditch the group and make your own plans, honestly I've travelled on my own and it's not dreadful, you please yourself and meet other (nice). People where are you the hive mind will be able to suggest activities to fill your days

If you select "see all" on the OP's first post you will see that she has been home for nearly two weeks.

MoreHairyThanScary · 25/07/2024 21:27

Ditch the group and make your own plans, honestly I've travelled on my own and it's not dreadful, you please yourself and meet other (nice). People where are you the hive mind will be able to suggest activities to fill your days

HillBillieEilish · 25/07/2024 21:19

Gosh. I'm tempted to say what a bunch of bitches but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that they were feeling awkward and aren't comfortable being so welcoming?

Why were a few of you unwell so much? Dodgy food?

It's funny, I tell my DD that she doesn't need to worry about this sort of thing as she gets old(er) but it really never ends does it.

Says more about them OP and you sound lovely. Id have definitely told them when I left that they aren't very nice. You're a better person than me!

Margo2023 · 25/07/2024 20:55

Thought I would bump the thread to make 600! @geekygirldoesnotfitin given such a mammoth thread I'm sure many of us are curious as to whether you had any contact or conversation with your friend post holiday?

RampantIvy · 21/07/2024 23:18

TomTom2022 · 21/07/2024 23:06

Horrible bitches just enjoy time on your own and dump that so called friend she's horrible

The OP has been home for a week.

TomTom2022 · 21/07/2024 23:06

Horrible bitches just enjoy time on your own and dump that so called friend she's horrible

alrightluv · 21/07/2024 22:21

@MeAgainAndAgain 🤣

MeAgainAndAgain · 21/07/2024 18:55

HonoraryMummy · 21/07/2024 14:37

Ghost your "friend" and the whole rotten bunch. You don't owe them an explanation. If it's convenient for you and you really want to, stay and enjoy the holiday as a solo trip, go on a walking tour, get a spa treatment or just laze by the pool (and go for long, long swims - they will be seething as they wait for you to get out in your own sweet time...). But personally I'd probably just get the next flight home. Just don't tell them what you're planning to do. Don't engage with them at all. It doesn't matter what they think.

I wouldn’t get the next flight home. I think the best thing is for OP to time travel and fly home last Sunday.

HeartandSeoul · 21/07/2024 16:26

Arconialiving · 21/07/2024 15:44

CANCEL THE CHEQUE

😂😂😂

Arconialiving · 21/07/2024 15:44

CANCEL THE CHEQUE

HonoraryMummy · 21/07/2024 14:37

Ghost your "friend" and the whole rotten bunch. You don't owe them an explanation. If it's convenient for you and you really want to, stay and enjoy the holiday as a solo trip, go on a walking tour, get a spa treatment or just laze by the pool (and go for long, long swims - they will be seething as they wait for you to get out in your own sweet time...). But personally I'd probably just get the next flight home. Just don't tell them what you're planning to do. Don't engage with them at all. It doesn't matter what they think.

Horsecalledrhubard · 21/07/2024 13:03

Horrible people. Glad you are home and ok.

Arconialiving · 21/07/2024 12:31

CANCEL THE CHEQUE

rebeccasays · 21/07/2024 12:29

Enjoy the rest of the holiday by yourself, or go home early if you really prefer.

At some point you just have to give up on people who just don't seem to value you. They might start to show more interest if they realize you don't need them and can rise above it. But It sounds like they have already shown their true colours.

HeartandSeoul · 21/07/2024 11:11

MischkasMum & S1234b

She’s already home, having left early.

MischkasMum · 21/07/2024 11:05

Quite frankly, I'd tell them ALL to "go forth and multiply" - but it certainly wouldn't be as polite as that. I don't know why you've put up with this for so long. As for your "friend"? Kick THAT into touch. With friends like her, who needs enemies? She's treated you abominably and there's no bloody excuse for basically pleading with you to go on this holiday, then actively ostracizing you. Just not on.

Get away from this toxic bunch as soon as you can.

S1234b · 21/07/2024 10:35

Awful she is not a friend
I would just see if there is a flight and just go if possible i wouldn't even tell them
If not just as others get your self a book and stay by pool
See what activity is around the hotel

JamMam10 · 21/07/2024 10:24

I don’t know what the answer is but that’s tough - you’ve every right to be confused. Adults can feel lonely and excluded and it’s not any easier than when we were small kids. Hang in there

Geiyotue · 21/07/2024 10:20

Bill98502 · 21/07/2024 07:05

OP, reading your posts made me want to fly to help you. We could find a lot to chat about. Then watch how the others react when a male 82 y/o Yank joins the group.

This is such a weird response, and a bit creepy.

Bill98502 · 21/07/2024 07:05

OP, reading your posts made me want to fly to help you. We could find a lot to chat about. Then watch how the others react when a male 82 y/o Yank joins the group.

Swipe left for the next trending thread