To think that 2 vastly different people from different walks of life can't sustain a long term relationship?

Doesn't sound like wildly different lifestyles to me tbh. I'd say religion or mental health issues are far more likely to be a potential problem factor.

As a couple, the way you work together as a team is more important than what interests you have in common. If you have opposite views on how to parent, for example, that's going to break you up much faster than one liking TV and one not. This is why a lot of people who get together because they like the same band and are horny don't actually tend to last.

I think the most important ingredients for a relationship is shared values, sexual chemistry, being able to laugh together, both wanting the other to be happy and to be willing to adjust and compromise for that.

If two people have very different upbringings, the above will overcome. But if either has values very much tied in with their upbringing, it won’t work. For example, one person is highly educated and had it drummed into them that education is everything, knowing that their parents, parents friends and their own friends feel the same and they too prize eduction above everything, it won’t work to be with someone who didn’t study further/higher. They would be intolerant and snappy and judgemental around their partner if they felt ashamed or frustrated at their lack of education, especially in front of their own family and friends.

If on the other hand, that highly educated person departs from that value and thinks that academia has its limits, that there is a lot of interesting and valuable knowledge to be had outside it, and actually feels a bit resentful that they were steered towards being snobby and judgemental about more practical knowledge, and their less well-educated partner is worldly-wise and can fascinate and impress them with their business sense, mechanical knowledge of what have you, there is every likelihood they could have a wonderful life together. It just takes a certain rejection of the values both were raised with.

Sounds a lot like me my DP tbh!

He’s more cerebral and outdoorsy, I’m fat happy at home pottering and baking. Although he’s a lot more reliant on social media and tech generally than me. I can go for hours without my phone whereas he’d be lost without it. I’m like analogue to his digital!

He’s got strong political views, I’m a floating voter but probably more the other end of the spectrum most of the time.

He’s quite careful with money even though he has more of it, whereas on the surface I spend more generously/frivolously but earn less (although actually I don’t spend a lot, what I do spend isn’t always 100% necessary!)

I eat whatever I like all the time, he has very rigid mealtimes and eats semi-vegetarian. Although he does like crisps and chocolate. If he was super healthy I’d find that hard!

I’ve had a sheltered life and he’s lived a rich tapestry of a life, with both good and bad experiences in many areas.

He tends toward the depressive whereas I’m a bit more optimistic generally.

We have a great laugh. Amazing sex. We balance each other out in the ways outlined above and try to compromise on eg food/activities etc He makes me want to be more active and I help him to relax a bit. We’re a bit like Jack Spratt and wife from the old nursery rhyme.

How it would work living together I don’t know. I expect a lot more compromises! But communication is key.

I think it depends if you see the differences- there was a lady a few weeks ago on here saying that her dh never read books. I’m an author and it would never bother me enough to mention that dh doesn’t read books, it literally has no impact on my life. If I liked talking about books at home as I read in front of the fire then it might be a dealbreaker. Same with how educated you are- if you like conversing about what you studied- fine- myself and dh are worlds apart- he did computers, I did science, we have no overlap, but our day to day conversations are how the day went, so ‘x was in a bad mood today, or I met with a guy who did x’ not what we studied or actually did!!

Absolutely think it can work then as long as your core values are the same!

it sounds like they are very fond of each other and being able to laugh together is so important.

There are advantages to spending evenings at home together separately. The TV watcher gets to watch what they want and the reader can while away the hours uninterrupted. all the while, you have the comfort of knowing your loved one is in the next room.

I think those differences can work.

Differences such as in intelligence (not education) can be problematic, and also if one partner is proactive and the other very passive.

This all sounds pretty lovely 🥰

Not quite as extreme as your example but DH is from a wealthy family and had every privilege on offer in childhood. Family had a housekeeper, horse riding lessons, top public school etc. I’m from a dysfunctional family and there is most definitely a rough and ready element including my nephews have been in prison, I’m also mixed race.

Married 25 years and together 27.

We do have many hobbies that cross over and I did get qualifications though. We also have the same attitude to money and child rearing.

Has to be give and take imo. Is the non TV watcher also prepared to compromise?

I would say depends how independent they are and what their expectations are of a relationship.

Presumably before they met one another they managed to get their needs and interests met by themselves - either doing things alone or with other friends and family who had their shared interests. If both parties are happy for that to continue - let each other do their own thing and then come back together without jealousy that person 2 is down the pub watching the football with a mixed group, or person 1 has gone to watch a performance of king lear with an opposite sex friend, or when they go on holiday person 1 is happy to wander round a museum on their own while person 2 sits by the pool, then they both meet up for a meal - then no reason why it wouldn't work.

the partner is just an added bonus to an already full and happy life.

If they are the type that think that once you are in a couple you must do everything together and its inappropriate to socialise separately, then, yes they might struggle if the things they like to do are incompatible.

Of course it can work. My late husband was very different in terms of his background - my parents were middle class, European, socially liberal, university educated. His were working class, very conservative, did not attend further education. My family were socialist, his were American Republicans (though not of the MAGA kind).

We were happy together for 20 years. What broke us was his alcohol addiction, not his background.

You need shared values, and a high degree of consistency in their ordering. DH is my polar opposite in almost every superficial respect - he’s a Tory, I’m a leftie, he’s a posho, I went to a sink estate comp, he’s a neat freak and I’m chaos - but we’re absolutely solid because deep down we have the same values.

I think as long as he doesn't hang his crystals where you'll bang your head on them or bore on about history when you're trying to watch love Island, you'll be fine.😉

I think shared values are the key. Family, morals etc. I do include approach to spending in that. It's exciting to be opened up to new things as well, stargazing sounds fab. None of us should be completely fixed in our interests, we should evolve and try new things, with or without encouragement from a partner. DP and I are pretty similar in values but we've taken an interest in each other's hobbies and we've both benefited from it. I enjoy music much more than I used to, and he's become a bit more houseproud. On the outside our upbringings were different, but there are some important similarities in there that we both connected on early on.

It can be a definite bonus to have separate interests and continue to follow them.

DH likes gaming and programmes like Pawn Stars, Storage Wars, Border Force. All of which drives me mad. But I like reading, so he can watch whatever crap he wants, as long as I can read my book.

He has his hobbies outside the house and so do I. He is sometimes dragged along to events if I can't find anyone else to go with, and I do the same for him.

The important thing is how he respects me as a person and is kind, caring and thoughtful.

Also, we have a similar outlook on life, similar morals and a similar sense of humour.

So it can work if you concentrate on the similarities and accept the differences.

My partner and I are like chalk and cheese in almost every conceivable way including levels of education, how we choose to relax, political views, food preferences, attitude to money.
So long as we avoid touchy subjects and compromise on some shared activities, we are doing just fine. I sometimes have to watch football, he sometimes has to go and see a play he doesn't particularly fancy.

Being terrible with money would be more of a red flag to me than anything else you've mentioned, lol.

Healthy couples tend to have a strong sense of individuality. So separate hobbies and interests, as well as some shared ones.
What tends to happen is they influence eachother a bit, so maybe one might end up watching more TV, or the other might get really into listening to The Soft Machine, for example. While there will still be stuff only enjoyed by one half of the couple, and they have healthy respect for eachothers hobbies and views.