To have a niggling feeling that my bf won't propose to me?

I find your posts completely perplexing. You don't care about marriage but you want a formal display of commitment like a contract or promise rings. This makes zero sense. Marriage gives you legal protection. Your insistence on something but not necessarily marriage makes you sound like a 14 year old wanting her boyfriend to tell everyone they're an official item. Are you feeling insecure in the future of your relationship? Because a child is a much bigger commitment than marriage in many ways.

If you want some formal protection then I'd recommend you have another, firmer conversation about marriage and timelines. If he wants to get married in 4 years - agree on a rough date, start looking at venues. Buy an engagement ring and be officially engaged.

But it sounds like you don't want a grown up conversation as much as you'd like a proposal?

It's not really clear what you are looking for or why.

I don’t think many people would be that malicious, you are right.

I do think, especially when things have moved fast, he could be still a bit uncertain. It was interesting someone mentioned about his parents because, truthfully oP, my son isn’t of that age yet, but I do think I’d be saying just tread carefully now; you’ve already moved enough fast enough. That doesn’t mean they don’t like you, just that they might understandably caution not rushing.

Do you mind us asking how old you both are?

Right - so you agreed that you want your daughter to give you the rings?
So you've actually agreed to a wedding in about 4 years time? That did not come across.

So, I'm going to ask this again: why does he get to decide the timetable? Why don't you discuss the when and the where?
Why is it his decision?.

That's good. Until/unless you marry you'd be wise to make sure you maintain that financial independence.

Well perhaps the ring is in his top drawer.🤷🏻‍♀️Have you checked?

To me it’s pretty clear he isn’t wanting to be railroaded- either because he wants to be more romantic about it or because he isn’t ready. I can’t think of other plausible possibilities.

What do you think the issue is OP?

If you've needed financial help from his parents in the relatively recent past do you really want him spending money on a ring?

It’s good you talked to him and cleared it up. I’m in agreement with him though, if you have discussed getting married in 3-4 years and already a child together, that is a very committed relationship. 4 years is quite a long engagement so he probably just thought he’d do it in a couple of years then you both start planning the wedding. I don’t think there’s anything unusual here.

It does sound like you should sit down together and make sure you’re on the same page about other life plans though. If you aren’t getting married for another 4 years, you should consider financial and medical power of attorney. It sounds like he’s doing all the right things as he has arranged life insurance etc.

It feels like you were overthinking the engagement situation a bit. Having a child together is a far bigger commitment than a diamond on your finger.

He is keeping his options open by not actually asking you and formally giving you a ring or letting you plan a wedding. As they say you are Ms right now, not Ms right.

But he may not be entirely aware of it. He may sincerely love you and the baby and sort of intend to marry you one day. But thats like me saying I would love a second home in paris one day. Im either saving fir it and learning french or Im quite likely to end up somewhere else less costly.

If marriage is important to you sit him down and have a serious talk about it. Stop trying to read the tea leaves and interpret his actions—as they conflict with his words, or his words confuse you, you will not be able to figure this out or subtly pressure him into changing his mind.

His parents know well where his head is.
They will be supporting him protecting himself ahead of you and your child.
They will have formed an opinion about you based on a pregnancy 3 months in.
I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if they have encouraged his position.

He's messed up once, don't compound it with a rushed marriage.

Apologies if that sounds harsh, but behind closed doors it's highly likely this was said to him.

I’ve no idea what “muggy” means but it’s not my business so I’m saying nothing (I said friend, but actually she’s my neighbour). My point is this happens to so many women. And I’ll reiterate, if a man wants to marry you, he’ll marry you, no fucking around.
If your bf is so adamant he wants this and he knows you want a ring, why in gods name is he not on his knees with a beautiful aquamarine as we speak? Because he’s not sure, or just doesn’t want to. Neither of which bodes well tbh.

Well I think we can only conclude that he either wants to explore the relationship more to SEE if he wants to; or he has a desire to take control and surprise you.

Either way, I don’t think instructing him achieves much. It’s fine - and sensible - to explain you would like to marry much sooner so that had been properly communicated. It’s fine to leave the relationship if you don’t want to wait. You don’t have to do it his way. But equally you can’t force other people to do things your way.

Oh and don't forget the prince who tells the poor woman that he doesn't feel the relationship is in the "right space to get married"....SHE needs to work on things.

Putting her on the back foot so that she feels she has to bend herself out of shape in efforts to do the pick me dance.

You couldn't possibly have self esteem and put up with such bullshit.

Well I’m not the op to begin with and none of it works for me full-stop.

Having a child before I had the security of marriage is not a choice I would personally have made. But I have to say if I had found myself in that position, I honestly would not want to marry someone I had only known for three months before I was on the hormonal rollercoaster of pregnancy then the early months of a new baby. I would want longer to know that we weren’t compounding one accelerated decision with a second accelerated decision.

Would it take me three to four years to develop a knowledge of the other person to the point I was ready to marry? I’ve not been in that situation but it sounds on the cautious side to me - but I can’t really know. What I do know is no good whatsoever comes from requiring someone to marry you. It’s about as useful as instructing someone to compliment you so you can enjoy the warm glow of flattery.