To have a niggling feeling that my bf won't propose to me?

How sad for your child.

Neither of you are prepared to do the best thing for your daughter: commit to each other.

Your not fussed on marriage then I'd say to him let's book registry office ASAP and do it. No need to worry about engement rings then

That seems a shame. Like you're withdrawing.

Oh I see, thank you.

I've been married twice and in neither case was a proposal made.

Well let’s see where that leads. But don’t wait on him too long oP.

I thought you said that's what he said?
He said he felt pressured to propose, didn't he?.
I'm not having a go, I'm just confused.

You want a public commitment and a ring... you should just admit you want to be married. Now.

It comes across so strongly that you are trying to convince yourself you are fine with this vague future plan. But you are not. And why should you be?

It's quite understandable. You are 37 you have a child, he says he loves you, what would you be waiting for?

The only thing you seem to be waiting for is so your daughter can hand you the rings. Which makes it seem more like you are planning a theater production not a committed life together. The ring handing over would be a brief moment and not half as significant as you imagine.

So you are going to agonise and wait for 4 years so a child can hand over a ring? Tbh that's a ridiculous reason to make such a decision.

Tell him you are ready for marriage now. You want the public commitment and the legal protection because you have a child and you both say you are committed to being together.

Get married. Get it done. You can then plan all the other things for your family: more children, home, education and the future generally.

You are putting this essential core decision on hold for a passingly cute moment in 4 years?
Don't.

Tell him now: you want to start planning a wedding.
See how he responds.
Then you'll have your answer.

He felt pressured to propose? That doesn't bode well.

I thought in today's world two adults set down and discussed their future. Proposals aren't necessary. It's just some romanticized teenage ideal. It's silly.

So you know when you want to marry. But what is stopping you getting engaged now? You need to speak to him about getting engaged specifically.

Yup

You say he wanted to move in with you before you got pregnant, and then once you got pregnant you let him move in with you.

presumably this was a massive benefit for him and now he's got his feet under your table, he doesn't want to make a commitment.
what were his living circumstances before he met you.

We were the same. No engagement or engagement rings, simple enough wedding. We already had a child. We talked about getting married some day but neither of us was really pushing for it. Neither was pushing against it either though. The wedding was just something to get around to really. Had a lovely day when we eventually did.

I think maybe you're not thinking longterm atm.brcause you're happy with him and just think of this as a speed-bump.

But he is managing down your expectations.

He should have proposed by now.
You should be discussing weddings. Even if it's just a rough date a year or two in the future.
You should be thinking about if you want more kids and that there are consequences for that if he delays things for years.

But you're just so focused on getting the bare minimum level of commitment promise from him that you'll be...Happy to wait 4 years till a wedding!?

Sorry but...he's just dangling a carrot when he should be working to provide you with the whole field. And he likely thinks if he makes that one carrot all you see, you'll be so happy when you finally get it, that you'll ignore what you are actually supposed to have grown together.

More likely he was well aware at the age of ye both, particularly him in his 40's the moniker "boyfriend" would have drawn sniggers.

I can read clearly you want it to be so and I feel for you, but you really are going to have to put yourself first and be firm.

Why would you be buying a house with him without marriage?
Keep your money separate except for bills.
He's getting it all, baby, house, all the huge commitments from you....except the one that would give a formality to your relationship.

Can you not see that he is getting it all and you not?

Why would you get financially entangled without marriage.

If you don't give your head a real wobble you are going to end up one very disappointed woman, another salutary tale of a woman giving everything and being thoroughly disrespected in the process.

I'd be looking at telling him No to any house buying without marriage and I would be looking at buying a house myself.

I certainly wouldn't be spending the next few years prostrating myself to him to marry me.

You made an enormous leap of faith having a child with him only knowing him weeks.

Value yourself more, you deserve better than his rabbit in the lights routine🙄fuxk that.

… I’m really glad I asked your age and I’m really glad you clarified because I think it puts a totally different complexion on it.

Now wondering how many other posts I have given awful advice in as I didn’t have all the facts… 😰

"For example many people in medical settings assume he is my husband or fiance and I'm correcting them.it just doesn't look good"

Doesn't look good to who? People just default to the probable when using titles etc. They don't actually care, just make a best guess.

Must admit, I can't imagine a 41 year old bloke talking about their daughter carrying the ring at the wedding. I don't think most blokes give a crap about that kind of stuff. Was that your suggestion?

Exactly. It’s neither here nor there. This is about you and your security OP.

At the beginning of this thread, I thought you were being a bit pressurising and unfair on a young guy who was having to grow up fast after getting himself in a spot of baby bother.

Now I just think he’s being massively immature and unfair on you.