Teacher married to non teacher

Teaching part time and having a husband who works away / long hours must be hard, but isn't the whole idea of having children was because you wanted them? In the holidays, not having to leap out of bed early to get kids ready for school is lovely. Though I know that parenting has its difficult moments, enjoy it! Their early years pass very quickly. One day, they might be moaning about having to spend time with you....😅

I think its hard being a Teacher though.Some of my family teach and its pretty full on in a way that other jobs arent. Pupils from difficult backgrounds,controlling the class ,teaching your subject,and then there s the parents! OP take whatever you feel you need ,Under 5s are pretty full on. Can you arrange a holiday somewhere ,There are house swaps to be had.Also maybe one day out per week somewhere. Museums are free ,and NT is good value ,we pay £10 per month (a little more for a family).This will break up the time .

Can you do playdates or go to some playgroup meetups, so you get a bit of adult company and the kids can somewhat occupy themselves for a little while? Ask your DH to watch them for an hour or so when he gets back from work, so you can have a bit of time to yourself to go for a walk or take a bath, etc.

OP that's 17 days a year to yourself! That's about two thirds of most people's annual leave, it's a huge amount. YANBU to be sad it'll go, but most of us manage. Definitely book some camps during the summer when they're old enough.

The small kids years are really really really tough. Most of us don't have neat houses or time to browse the shops and it's normal to struggle to get to the hairdressers because let's face it there's always something more urgent.

No one's saying it's easy but you do seem to have slightly unrealistic expectations, probably as a result of the quite high number of true days off you have now. You will adapt to the new routine, and the kids will get so much easier. Preschoolers are a nightmare, school age DC are a dream by comparison.

Are you the teacher?

You haven't made it clear who is.

I fully get what you're saying but TBH you need to ask for this thread to be deleted and start again maybe on the Parenting part of MN.

Your problem is you find it hard to parent. Many of us did.
But you also seem quite naive about the reality of what being a mother involves.

You need some help with that via parent-coaching or similar support.

I was a full time SAHM for 4 years until the eldest went to nursery, part time.

I fully get what it's like but that IS what being a mum involves.

Get your thread changed perhaps and start a new one asking for the help you need.

I can easily deal with classes of teenagers, mainly because after an hour, they leave. You're also mapping every minute of that time. Dealing with 2 toddlers or pre schoolers is very different. You're basically their servant. They follow you everywhere. Everything is planned around them.

This is literally the life of any working parent. Leave/ holidays from work are spent looking after children. I’m currently on mat leave and have 6 weeks with all kids and I’m dreading it 😂. I’m also dreading going back to work and somehow finding the time or money for childcare during holidays. This has nothing to do with being a teacher. The only difference is you have the privilege of having such long holidays where you have the flexibility to either look after them or find alternative childcare. You also have the privilege that some of your partners leave can be taken at the same time as you so you can all be together.

Stop moaning about parenting your own kids

im self employed so will be juggling that and childcare…I don’t get annual leave

book a family holiday for 2 weeks

book some clubs for them…they take them from 3 some of them

childhood is only a short time. They will be grown up and gone in no time

It’s just life though? Not really sure what to suggest. Many parents spend 7 days a week caring for their children if they are single parents. Your husband should be sharing the load and taking some annual during the summer

So get another job and find child care to cover the school holidays

Teacher here of a SEND 6yo and rambunctious 2yo and I fully feel what you're saying OP. Parenting is hugely hard work for me- my eldest is relentless, cant/won't play independently; 90% time everything is a battle for most simple tasks. I am burned out at this stage of the term and the thought of being solely responsible for them 5 days a week 7am until 5.30pm isn't filling me with joy. Neither have holiday time childcare options and we can't afford summer camps or extra time with childminder. I will get 2 days with only 1 of them as my mum will have the other one so I can take them to respective hospital appmts. Husband has used up all his annual leave.
We have 1 week together where we are away on holiday. Do either of yours.nap still? That is my saving grace that toddler naps still for an hour and I shove eldest in front of a screen and then just have 50 minutes of peace. All that gets me through tbh.

Some of us can’t afford to go back to work and spend every waking hour (oh and the times they wake up overnight) with their kids. Imagine that.

If you need a break are there no activity clubs the can go to for a few of the days? The ones where their friends are going of parents who both work. Or a few play date swaps with their friends?

I do get it - We're both teachers and have two pre school age children. This year I've been on maternity leave and the older one has been on term time only nursery. It means zero time away from the children unless one of you is looking after both of them, no booking annual leave to get things done. Although I understand parents with school age children don't really get to do this and use their annual leave to look after children.

When we're both back at work they are both going to nursery full time. We won't use all those days as we'll go on holiday, visit family etc but we want the time to decorate, get work done, have some time to ourselves etc. This wouldn't be everyone's choice but I need a break from my children and realistically this is just a week at Easter two half terms anyway as they are closed at Christmas and we'll give notice for the eldest before the summer as he'll be starting school in September.

My plan when they are at school is that in the long holidays (Easter, summer) they can do one week of a camp they choose so we get a break. Half terms a day if that's possible.

If my husband wasn't a teacher there's no way I'd be doing all the childcare if he wasn't also taking annual leave to cover some of if so you get some time off. What does he do with his annual leave? And why isn't he doing anything in the week? These sound like bigger issues.
If you're working 3 days and have the children on the other two days you are busy 5 days and he should be doing 50% of everything whilst he's around. Realistically you're not doing housework whilst looking after two young children!

Your post doesn't makes sense OP.

If your husband is the teacher, why isn't he looking after them in the holidays?

You don't even work full time 😂 Jesus Christ. Plenty of time for you to do the shallow things you're moaning about like get your hair done.

Poor kids. Why did you bother having them if you don't even want to spend time with them?!! Should have stuck at 1 if the thought of god forbid,actually being with them, is too much for you. The mind boggles. Man it up. Lofs of people would kill to be in the position of the luxury of spending time with their children. Honestly sounds like you need to go on some parenting classes, which is odd given you work with kids.

I used to be a childminder so having my own children as well as the mindees in the holidays was part of the job. Also, part of the reason I chose to childmind.

On some very occassional days I used holidays clubs to give my kids a bit a variety.

Actual holidays were when DH had booked holiday time too and we shared the parenting and went away for a while. That was the usual 4 to 5 weeks of annual leave not the school holidays 13! Child free time outside of the school day/being at work is fairly rare for most parents of young children.

Updated - I see from posts that you are struggling being with your own children. That would make days difficult.

Do you have a routine? Do you get outside everyday?

Our routine was always out for a morning activity, playground, walk, swimming, soft play etc. Then home for a more chilled afternoon, crafts, a film etc. Structure and a plan helps.

OP has not said what kind of teaching she does but it takes me a minimum of 40 hours a week (plus 8-10 hours of commuting) to do my "part time" 3 day teaching job and my experience is not unusual.

I do wonder when people think marking gets done. I teach A-level and it can easily be an additional 15 hours of that some weeks. Fortunately it's not a coursework subject but I well remember when my DC was a toddler hiding out at my mum's or in the supermarket cafe near nursery frantically grading coursework!

Plus I didn't have a DH away all week lumbering me therefore with all the cooking, food shopping, housework and pick ups and drop offs.

This is the issue, that you find parenting so difficult. I'd have thought a teacher would find dealing with only 2 children quite easy, in practical terms, so I'm guessing there's something else going on that's causing you problems.
Is it your health, or the fact that maybe you are trying to work while looking after little ones? Or depression or financial issues? Relationship issues?
If you can identify what you are struggling with, we can maybe give more specific help.

Well I don't think she's said what the DH does with his annual leave or what he's like at the weekend (apologies if she has and I've missed it).

As I said in my first reply (and I appreciate it's hard to track who's said what on MN), SINBU to be pissed off if he doesn't pull his weight, but with the hours she works, OP having the children on most (not even all) of her days off is absolutely fair enough.