To leave baby crying if…

I’m not hungry for breakfast until about 11.30 (I wake at about 7.30). That has no bearing on when a baby/toddler might be. In any case, this one went back to sleep after 10 mins so the whingeing was likely tiredness, as the OP had thought.

We went through a phase for about 3 months of starting the day at about 4:55-5.30am. Nearly broke me but it didn't last forever

As below

It WAS 5 am. Obviously not read full thread

Your child can’t tell the time! If they’re awake they’re awake. They’re ready to start the day. If it was 5am I might have some sympathy with you, but not at nearly 7am. Most young children wake up early.
(If you think it might help you could get some blackout blinds or curtain linings, but it might well make no difference.)

I would not leave a baby to cry beyond a few minutes. Would your baby settle in bed with you?

Bring them in to bed with you for cuddles then get up? Nice gentle start to the day

OP said she tried to settle him a few times first but didn't say how many times or how long for. Everyone is just assuming their interpretation is correct 🤷🏻‍♀️

I read it as toddler woke up at 5 and cried for 10 minutes then went back to sleep. The OP was surely just explaing he usually wakes up at 7 but today he woke at 5 cried for a bit and went back to sleep. Nothing wrong with that.

Another person unable to read. It WAS NOT 7am. It was 5am. Not everyone wants to get up at that hour. And when are parents meant to actually sleep then? If you work evenings for example and home at 11 ish then you don't want to be awake at 5am

Why would u leave them to cry at 7am that's a normal time to start the day ! I wouldn't leave them they have had there sleep and there ready for there day of adventure my toddler wakes at 5.30 sometimes and that's when my day starts

People are so dramatic. You left them 10 mins not ten hours. They went back to sleep. Being able to self soothe especially by 21 months is great.

It was 5am! Nothing the OP did was selfish. She did go into him and he fell back asleep within 10 minutes

Try reading the thread before making a nasty comment

Slight oversimplification, but you can split the debate into people who either a) think it's mean to leave a child crying for 10 mins OR b) think it's mean to say it's mean to leave a child crying for 10 mins. It's almost impossible to sway either group because it's a stance that is intrinsically linked to your personal values and highly nuanced, with next to no robust data to validate who is right or wrong.

So essentially, posting about it on MUMSnet is pointless, if you're hoping for consensus.

Given the time, I probably would have got baby up. If it was earlier however and the baby didn't need anything I might have chanced a 5 min cry to see if they settle themselves.

Five seconds is nothing. Ten minutes is cruel.

One of the worst tribes on here are the mean attachment parents. So condescending and cruel to people asking for help. “Leaving a child to grumble for 5 seconds will ruin your bond.” “I am a slave to my child and a broken shell of a person so everyone else must be too.”

Ten minutes is fine and as you say they stopped and went back to sleep.

I did controlled crying to sleep train baby and one of the hardest hurdles was waking around 5-7. We realized that going in was too stimulating and was impossible for us the get her back to sleep. So we left her to it, and within a few days early morning wakes has gone.

As we did controlled crying we actually realized a lot of it wasn't crying, it was actually moaning. You will always get some people telling you are awful. I ignore them, my child sleeps well, is very bonded with us and is very content.

I followed Baby Sleep Consultant on Instagram.

Yes please don't worry OP. We go by the "No getting up before 7am rule" in this house and it has served us well. Occasionally they went through 5am wakings and that's fine, they don't have to be asleep but they need to be quiet in their room.

When they were toddlers I'd usually go in and lay with them holding their hands until they went back to sleep which they did 80% of the time. The other 20% if they started protesting, I'd stay calm, speak quietly, keep room dark, and if all else failed quietly read books with them.

Eventually if they know they're not getting rewarded with TV for early wakeups they'll sleep in longer. It's not a bad thing to set boundaries and good habits!

@Apppron please
Give yourself a break! Yes, in an ideal world we'd never leave a child to cry. But one morning will be fine. I understand that insane tiredness. The fact your little one has gone back to sleep suggests they needed more sleep. You'll bother be rested and can have an amazing day

It was fine, OP.

All the pious parents of first-borns or onlies need to get off their high horses.

I'm on #4. If I ran to respond to every tiny grumble, I'd be beyond exhausted and never able to do anything with my others.

Your child is not going to be damaged from being encouraged to go back to sleep when it's too early to get up.

And not all toddlers start their day at 5am... I've not had this 'phase' with any of mine so far.

Hey OP. Try not to beat yourself up. Motherhood is hard and in my experience we’re surrounded by messaging from other mums and social media that babies should sleep 7-7 from very young. (The reality is that they often wake up far earlier.) I’ve been encouraged to try sleep training, specifically the “cry it out” method, so many times and responded to as if I’m mad for not wanting to try it. I can understand how tough it can get with sleep but there are other strategies to explore that are less distressing/difficult for you and your baby. But an early start is pretty standard. They don’t know the time.

You are being unreasonable to say "before 7" and then change it to 5a.m. and they usually sleep until 7a.m.

5am is v early especially if you know they normally sleep until 7, I think it’s fine but I don’t have kids yet. A few minutes crying is fine to me but depends on if you’re sure they’re not unwell etc. They might need a later bed time?

It’s in the drip feed comments I thought I’d miss read but seen it again
she’s replied to another poster comments saying she didn’t get them up because in her words on this thread

** because it was 5am and they usually sleep until 7