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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed that DH added sweet chilli to the pasta I cooked

163 replies

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:08

DH wanted chicken pasta, so I spent my time today making it for him, adding lots of spices to it as I know he likes flavour. It was exhausting for me to cook as well as look after our baby and toddler. He came home from work tried the pasta and went and put sweet chilli all over it and started to eat it.

I am abit annoyed as what was the point in me spending time cooking if he drenched it in sweet chilli. He doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with it.

Aibu

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 12/07/2024 21:54

If he eats the food you cook and hopefully says thank you, he should be allowed to add seasoning and condiments to his portion.

If you aren’t up to cooking yet, then don’t push yourself. The household will be fine with sandwiches and some other quick things plus your husband cooking when he is available.

SalmonEile · 12/07/2024 21:50

Honestly OP I get it
my husband has form for suggesting/requesting a certain meal prepared a certain way
and yes to him and some it’s just boiling a bit of pasta and mixing a few spices, chopping a few onions , cooking some chicken and so on but my god when you’re exhausted and have a toddler riding your last nerve and he just comes home and covers it with sauce from a bottle anyway you’re left thinking well damn what’s the point eh
I now just do base dinners and my older kids and husband can add whatever they want to them
it’s not worth the hassle imo life’s too short

TwigletsAndRadishes · 12/07/2024 21:49

He's being unreasonable to want chicken with pasta to start with. Chicken and pasta just don't go togethe. And sweet chilli sauce is for Asian food. I couldn't be married to someone with such terrible taste in food. YANBU.

DoreenonTill8 · 12/07/2024 21:49

StormingNorman · 12/07/2024 21:15

This is what condiments were made for. They allow people to adjust the taste to personal preference. It is a normal thing for people to do.

This, do you mean you made the pasta from scratch?

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 12/07/2024 21:48

Ridiculous thing to get annoyed over.

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 12/07/2024 21:48

It's pasta not like she's cooked a 3 course meal and he's thrown it at the dog. Get over it he wanted chilli sauce he had chilli sauce not a big deal.

Cinocino · 12/07/2024 21:47

AmelieTaylor · 12/07/2024 21:40

@Cinocino

be side she spent time (&energy she didn't have) to make him a meal he requested. Then smothered it in crap. She might as well just have cooked up some plain pasta instead of wasting her time.@Sleepdeprived2 that's what I suggest you do next time!! & when he complains just say you're not going to all that effort to have it smothered in chili sauce

Show quote history

That’s ridiculous, everyone likes what they like and it’s not less valid. If he added pepper, or Parmesan on top would that be as much of a red flag to people? Why is a sauce he likes
any more “crap” than any other seasoning?
He didn’t force her, she wanted to make it
for him so to then get so wound up that he added something to make it more enjoyable is just so petty.

Imagine how many people would be screaming abuse if the DH refused to ever cook at home because OP wanted to add salt and pepper to her meal?! It’s nuts.

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 12/07/2024 21:46

@whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil

Who said he wasn't. Just because op doesn't like chilli sauce doesn't mean her husband can't.

whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil · 12/07/2024 21:45

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:27

I don't feel appreciated, for me even cooking is difficult. I am recovering from a c section so things are tough at the moment for me.

He should be cooking for you

whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil · 12/07/2024 21:43

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She's had an operation- even if it's shit he should be bloody grateful she's cooked it

arethereanyleftatall · 12/07/2024 21:41

And to the posters talking about whether a pasta dish takes a long time to make. That is yet another absolutely meaningless discussion (like the how long does any food take to make one's) given that she could have made her own pasta, cooked a chicken, made a sauce from scratch, ie hours, or boiled some dry pasta and added a jar of dolmio. Just because you do the latter, doesn't mean everyone else does.

ChampagneLassie · 12/07/2024 21:41

RenoDakota · 12/07/2024 21:19

I hear you, OP. My ex husband did that too. Even worse though, he had a knob of a work colleague who used to carry a bottle of chilli sauce around everywhere with him, and used it in restaurants too.
It was embarrassing. And kind of an insult to the person who cooked the meal.

I think he worked with my dad 🤣

AmelieTaylor · 12/07/2024 21:40

Cinocino · 12/07/2024 21:36

In what way would him enjoying his food less make you feel more appreciated?

Show quote history

@Cinocino

be side she spent time (&energy she didn't have) to make him a meal he requested. Then smothered it in crap. She might as well just have cooked up some plain pasta instead of wasting her time.@Sleepdeprived2 that's what I suggest you do next time!! & when he complains just say you're not going to all that effort to have it smothered in chili sauce

Toottooot · 12/07/2024 21:39

Wooptie fucking ping.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/07/2024 21:38

This isn't about the pasta op. It's about you feeling under appreciated. But by making it about pasta, which is a nonissue, you lost your chance to talk about the actual problem. Sleep on it. You get the lie in if you're not breastfeeding, or he at least gets up with the toddler so that you can go back to bed when new born does. Have another try at talking about the actual issue tomorrow.

AmelieTaylor · 12/07/2024 21:36

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@TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole

Why so nasty?

she's recovering from a C-section, has a newborn & feels unappreciated by her husband. Did you feel good sticking the boot in?!

nasty.

Cinocino · 12/07/2024 21:36

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:27

I don't feel appreciated, for me even cooking is difficult. I am recovering from a c section so things are tough at the moment for me.

In what way would him enjoying his food less make you feel more appreciated?

brunettemic · 12/07/2024 21:33

Seriously?!? 😂

Catza · 12/07/2024 21:33

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:27

I don't feel appreciated, for me even cooking is difficult. I am recovering from a c section so things are tough at the moment for me.

So why don't you speak about THIS with him instead of blowing up over a complete non-issue. He is hardly going to take you seriously if you overreact to something so trivial...

Trainntrack · 12/07/2024 21:32

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:27

I don't feel appreciated, for me even cooking is difficult. I am recovering from a c section so things are tough at the moment for me.

There’s obviously more to this than just the chilli sauce going on… talk to him. You need to give yourself a break. Your hormones will likely be all over the place recovering from giving birth. If you found it that tough then just stick to easy options for now and take care of yourself.

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 12/07/2024 21:32

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AppleStrudel23 · 12/07/2024 21:32

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:27

I don't feel appreciated, for me even cooking is difficult. I am recovering from a c section so things are tough at the moment for me.

I'm sorry you're going through that at the moment, c section recovery is no joke! Im
Certain he didn't mean to offend you or dislikes your cooking. Does he make you feel appreciated in other ways?

cardibach · 12/07/2024 21:32

Leafygreen84 · 12/07/2024 21:16

Exhausting? Come off it.
YABU and taking this personally when it really isn’t. If it upsets you so much let him make his own pasta next time. Takes 20 mins.

Pasta does. A decent sauce often takes much longer.
OP is daft to be upset though.

Dreaddy · 12/07/2024 21:31

Wind up surely

cardibach · 12/07/2024 21:31

Fizzyjuice · 12/07/2024 21:14

Why did you go to all that effort for pasta? Pasta in my house is a lazy meal slapped up with a jar of sauce.

I love sweet chilli sauce on everything too.

‘Pasta’ isn’t the meal. It can be an easy meal with a far (thorough I find them unpleasant so wouldn’t be here) or can be an accompaniment to a sauce which takes ages.