To be annoyed that DH added sweet chilli to the pasta I cooked

"Exhausted" after making pasta, gimme a break!

YANBU. I completely get what you’re saying because what is the point in making a recipe if someone is going to make everything taste the same?
My DH wants to put sweet chilli sauce on nearly everything. Eventually, I said to him that I might as well give him boiled cardboard as he slathers it on most of his food. I also find it childish.
I have stopped him doing it unless the sweet chilli actually goes with the dish.

My DH puts ketchup on everything. I cook from scratch and very much enjoy making delicious meals that are perfectly seasoned as they are. He just can't help himself. I try not to take offence. Its just how he prefers everything.

I really don't think you should be cooking anything, never mind things that take effort, at the moment. Focus on your baby and recovery.

When I was recovering from my CS I let my partner know that I was on strike. He did all the cleaning and fed me. My lunch was a bacon sandwich every day but it's ok.

Eww. How charming. Well, I didn't report you... perhaps it was somebody else who thinks the tiger should have eaten anything but(t).

That's how he likes it.

@PossumintheHouse

Arsehole is a delicacy in some parts of the world 😂. I can assure you mine is delicious. Haha I can't believe my comment has been removed for suggesting someone's cooking is shit.

I think it’s more the fact you had to cook whilst looking after little ones rather than the actual adding of the sauce! It probably wouldn’t have bothered you if you had felt more like cooking or had found it more manageable.

Ah, OP, when you said 'baby' I wondered if you meant 'newborn baby' and I see you did!

Take my advice and do not do anything for him at all until you're starting to feel like yourself again. Trust me, it will not make you feel good. When you're so tired and your entire world has been rocked, you cannot afford to give anything away without resentment and especially to your partner who supposedly is equally responsible but of course is nothing like equally affected.

Do not even make him a cup of tea. You will be filled with rage when he either doesn't thank you for it or maybe only drinks half the cup and you'll be furious because HE should be making you tea, and now the fucker's not even drinking it?!

In my head the things I did for DH when I was postpartum should have elicited the reaction 'wow, Tot must really love me to do this even when she's just had a baby and would so much rather be sitting down. I feel loved that she made the effort.'
But the actual effect, I have come to realise, was more like 'oh, cool, Tot's doing tea again. Must be back up to full strength! Business as usual then, maybe I'll organise a night out...'

Just don't do anything. I wasn't consciously 'being a martyr ', I was trying to offer a gesture of love and generosity but yes, they fully take it for granted and you will be pissed off forever more. I still am, well over a year down the line. And i think this whole effect is magnified with a second child because you're acting as normal as you can for your first child, but your DH, poor simple fool, is also deceived.

Never understood the fascination that some people have with sweet chilli sauce, is that same people who couldn't eat anything as kids that wasn't covered in ketchup?

Argh I feel your pain. My DH does this all the time. Sweet chilli sauce doesn't even belong on pasta, pasta is Italian! Gives me the rage. Especially something I've taken time to cook from scratch and flavour beautifully.

from the thread title I thought you were going to say you made a one pot pasta meal and he randomly added chilli sauce to it. That would have been unreasonable! Putting whatever he wants on his own food, not so much. Let the man live!

I'm intrigued by the spices. All my chicken pasta recipes are creamy so maybe Italian herbs but spices? I suppose a Napoiltana chicken pasta but again what spices? You wouldn't really start chucking cumin or nutmeg in that either.

I’d think you were a total pain in the neck if you tried to tell me what I was allowed to put on my own meal. Is that the sort of person you want to be?

I'd only be annoyed if he put sauce on everyones food. If he did it to his own food then I don't see the problem with it.

Would you be equally annoyed if he added a bit extra salt or pepper to his food? It really isnt a big deal.

Cooking dinner isn't "above and beyond".

It's hardly a bloody Michelin star meal is it.

It's a tad controlling to tell others how to flavour their food

And this is why I stay happily single! I couldn't stand having a partner who got "annoyed" over what I did to the food on my plate. I know people who liberally pour tomato sauce over everything - if they did it to something I had cooked I really couldn't care less, they are the ones eating the meal and they can dress it up how they like.

I think it’s more she didn’t realise what the root problem was until after she started the thread.

He tasted it first and then put something on it.

He’s not done anything wrong other than not ask if you were up to cooking it in the first place. If you weren’t, you also should say so.

My DH makes spag bol and adds all kinds of spices to his. I still taste it, make my own pasta (the way he makes pasta makes me cringe) and add chilli flakes because I prefer added heat to mine. Everyone is happy. I don’t dictate what my DH puts on his food and vice versa.

You’re recovering and once you’re past the fourth trimester, things usually look up. You’ll be more healed and likely have more of a routine in place.

This thread is making me upset. People really think pasta is just a 15min quick meal that takes no effort and it is basically all the same 🥺

I guess the OP wasn’t quite getting the answers she wanted, so she drip fed the c section part of the story!

Stop being so over sensitive. It's a bowl of pasta. In our house you're free to season your meal with whatever condiment you see fit.

I totally get where you're coming from. My bf apparently wants all his food to taste like the chilipaste. Forget sublw natural herbal flavours. Only solution is to go through less trouble for him. If it is something you fancy, go all out. If it is something he fancies. Bare minimum 🤷🏼‍♀️