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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that DH added sweet chilli to the pasta I cooked

163 replies

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:08

DH wanted chicken pasta, so I spent my time today making it for him, adding lots of spices to it as I know he likes flavour. It was exhausting for me to cook as well as look after our baby and toddler. He came home from work tried the pasta and went and put sweet chilli all over it and started to eat it.

I am abit annoyed as what was the point in me spending time cooking if he drenched it in sweet chilli. He doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with it.

Aibu

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Teddleshon · 14/07/2024 10:20

I would be more concerned that he has a sugar addiction.

liveforsummer · 14/07/2024 10:18

Surely lots of people add their own bits like sauce or seasoning to their individual portion of a dish made for everyone. I always add loads of black pepper for instance to soup or sauces. It doesn't mean I'm ungrateful that's it's been cooked or don't like what the person has made, it's just enhanced by extra pepper as is my individual taste. I think it's a bizarre thing to be upset about

Wheredidileavemycarkeys · 14/07/2024 08:25

Just make it with a jarred sauce next time then maybe it won’t annoy you as much.

Emma43up · 14/07/2024 08:24

Added just on his- no problem.

decionsdecisions62 · 14/07/2024 08:22

Different people have different palates. What tastes spicy to you may not to other people. It's a bit presumptuous of you to expect because it's spot on for you it will be for everyone else. We're not robots. Why do you think tables have condiments on them in restaurants!!

phoenixrosehere · 14/07/2024 08:18

1apenny2apenny · 13/07/2024 23:39

@phoenixrosehere - I meant I'm not wasting food that's cooked from scratch using good quality ingredients on someone who is just going to add chilli sauce/ketchup to it. They clearly prefer a different taste to me, a taste that is very easily produced by using a jar sauce. Less time and effort if I'm the one cooking and a win win for everyone 🙂

Why is it a wasted effort if you were going to make the sauce anyway?

Are you making a separate meal otherwise?

Jar sauces are quite bland anyway imo despite all the sugar in them. I can guess you tasted it once when someone did this?

Kelly51 · 14/07/2024 08:06

It was exhausting for me to cook as well as look after our baby and toddler.
making a pasta dinner? that's a quick meal.

Ilovecleaning · 13/07/2024 23:54

CandiedPrincess · 13/07/2024 22:11

Christ @Ilovecleaning be careful love, you'll give yourself a nosebleed.

Why? I’ve got my rules and people have to abide by them.

Calliopespa · 13/07/2024 23:49

Ilovelurchers · 12/07/2024 22:52

And to be fair, we have no idea what form her chicken pasta takes or what processes are involved in it. All we know is it contains pasta, chicken and some spices, but there is probably a sauce etc, we have no idea how she makes it. For all we know she might make the pasta herself and stuff it with chicken. That would be complex!

Plus I think any cooking at all can be a lot when you have just given birth and are recovering from a C Section, depending on how your recovery is going.....b

Or she might chicken stuff a chicken with pasta which would also be complex.

1apenny2apenny · 13/07/2024 23:39

@phoenixrosehere - I meant I'm not wasting food that's cooked from scratch using good quality ingredients on someone who is just going to add chilli sauce/ketchup to it. They clearly prefer a different taste to me, a taste that is very easily produced by using a jar sauce. Less time and effort if I'm the one cooking and a win win for everyone 🙂

CandiedPrincess · 13/07/2024 22:11

Christ @Ilovecleaning be careful love, you'll give yourself a nosebleed.

phoenixrosehere · 13/07/2024 21:48

1apenny2apenny · 13/07/2024 21:11

If anyone did this is my family then any pasta dish I made them would be made with a jar sauce. Essentially adding chilli sauce, ketchup, hp sauce etc is adding sugar to food. You might as well be sprinkling a teaspoon (or more) of sugar onto your food. Pre-prepared jar sauces are full of sugar.

I don't want to eat sugar so I make my own tomato pasta sauce but I'm not wasting this sauce on someone who thinks it's tasteless and wants to add sugar to it.

We all have different tastes, it's easy to meet your DHs taste buds with processed food from the supermarket so give him prepackaged food.

How is it wasted if they’re still eating it?

CouncilEstate · 13/07/2024 21:44

My dh adds either salt and chilli seasoning (the Chinese style stuff) cheese, or hot sauce to literally every meal without tasting it first. I can’t let it bug me.

1apenny2apenny · 13/07/2024 21:11

If anyone did this is my family then any pasta dish I made them would be made with a jar sauce. Essentially adding chilli sauce, ketchup, hp sauce etc is adding sugar to food. You might as well be sprinkling a teaspoon (or more) of sugar onto your food. Pre-prepared jar sauces are full of sugar.

I don't want to eat sugar so I make my own tomato pasta sauce but I'm not wasting this sauce on someone who thinks it's tasteless and wants to add sugar to it.

We all have different tastes, it's easy to meet your DHs taste buds with processed food from the supermarket so give him prepackaged food.

Calliopespa · 13/07/2024 20:50

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:11

I've told him next time he can cook for himself. Don't see why I should go above and beyond if he is going to fill it with sauce anyway.

There’s a poor widowed 70 year old on another thread whose roof is leaking and it has flooded her bathroom. Noone to help her.

Enjoy your sweet-chilli-loving spouse and quit being so precious.

ChedderGorgeous · 13/07/2024 20:45

Sleepdeprived2 · 12/07/2024 21:08

DH wanted chicken pasta, so I spent my time today making it for him, adding lots of spices to it as I know he likes flavour. It was exhausting for me to cook as well as look after our baby and toddler. He came home from work tried the pasta and went and put sweet chilli all over it and started to eat it.

I am abit annoyed as what was the point in me spending time cooking if he drenched it in sweet chilli. He doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with it.

Aibu

I mean, if he hadn't tried it and put sauce on then YANBU but he did dry and and it was bland enough that it needed some extra flavour. He hasn't criticised you or suggest you eat it another way so really there's not much to be angry about. Have you tried cooking classes ? DH and I went on one and it really helped both of us appreciate flavour more when cooking and improve our technique.

LittleGreenDuck · 13/07/2024 20:38

My husband puts sweet chilli sauce on pretty much everything. It's his food, he can eat it how he likes 🤷‍♀️

Bloom15 · 13/07/2024 19:58

arethereanyleftatall · 12/07/2024 21:41

And to the posters talking about whether a pasta dish takes a long time to make. That is yet another absolutely meaningless discussion (like the how long does any food take to make one's) given that she could have made her own pasta, cooked a chicken, made a sauce from scratch, ie hours, or boiled some dry pasta and added a jar of dolmio. Just because you do the latter, doesn't mean everyone else does.

To be fair I make my own sauce for pasta and it doesn't take hour. I'm not Heston!

Icanttakethisanymore · 13/07/2024 19:54

Presumably you want him to enjoy it? I get you might rather he enjoyed it without the sauce but we cant control other peoples tastebuds so surely the most important thing is he had a dinner he enjoys, that’s why you cooked for him, right? If so who gives a toss what he chucks on it after. I’d probably not bother with all the spices next time though.

however, if are recovering from a c-section surly he should be cooking for you?

Ilovecleaning · 13/07/2024 19:49

MonsteraMama · 13/07/2024 19:27

If my husband threw a strop because I ate my food however I wanted to eat it he'd be getting told firmly to wind his fucking neck in. It's my dinner, I'll slather it in whatever I want. I don't care if it makes me look "naff" @Ilovecleaning , it's my fucking food, if I want to blend it up and drink it through a straw while making intense eye contact I will do so and that's my business.

Edited

Of course.
I did say in my posts in your own home, do what you like.
So carry on telling your DH to’ ‘ wind his fucking neck in’ and carry on eating your ‘fucking food’ and enjoy it, whether it’s using a fucking knife and fork or sucking it through a fucking straw. As long as it’s your fucking business, it doesn’t fucking matter.

MonsteraMama · 13/07/2024 19:27

If my husband threw a strop because I ate my food however I wanted to eat it he'd be getting told firmly to wind his fucking neck in. It's my dinner, I'll slather it in whatever I want. I don't care if it makes me look "naff" @Ilovecleaning , it's my fucking food, if I want to blend it up and drink it through a straw while making intense eye contact I will do so and that's my business.

mondaytosunday · 13/07/2024 19:22

So? My husband used to make bolognaise and I confess I always added ketchup to it!

Ilovecleaning · 13/07/2024 19:22

Cinocino · 13/07/2024 19:12

@Ilovecleaning at least don’t show yourself up

The irony.

Explain the irony.

Stickytreacle · 13/07/2024 19:18

He ate ut, he didn't complain. Choose your battles would be my advice!

Dr13Hadley · 13/07/2024 19:13

I understand OP. I once spent ages making a fancy Spanish omelette, chopping peppers, onions, potatoes etc and DH went and smothered his in ketchup. I wasn't best pleased at the time but I couldn't be bothered getting het up about it nowadays.