To ask for the positives of only having one child?

Perhaps the two of you could start your own support thread and leave this one for its intended purpose?

"You'll see their kids on threads like this one day"

You sound a throughly miserable unhinged person. You don't know anything about how these posters children will be. How they will feel in the future. Stop pretending you know them better than their own parents.

There's people on this thread who have posted about genuine heartbreaking losses and yet no acknowledgement of this instead bleating on own about your own life has been disadvantaged. You sound so incredibly insensitive

I agree. It seems to be this poster that is lacking in understanding. They seem to be safe in the knowledge that ALL only children feel how they do and their experience is the universal experience.

How's about you pop through the thread and find me highlighting once, twice (and then up to the fifth time) where I say, people's experiences vary.

Five times I've had to point that out. And yet, here you are requiring a 6th...

As an only myself I just can't imagine thinking my parents should have had more children that they might not have wanted, just to make ME happy.

Sorry, is this just a theme of this thread. Hyperbolic invention?

Because, looking directly at my large extended facility, my life would have been far better, as a child and adult, with siblings.... That means my parents should have had more children than they wanted? And they didn't, so "waaaaah, I didn't get my own way"

Got it. Now I see the deliberate level of understanding, despite what is written.

I agree. It seems to be this poster that is lacking in understanding. They seem to be safe in the knowledge that ALL only children feel how they do and their experience is the universal experience.

You don't know anything about other posters children, you don't know how they feel and to think you know how they feel better than their own parents is incredulous.

As this thread has shown. The MAJORITY of only children do not feel the way you do. Vast amount of research shows this too.

Lol.

We're just the kids of all the parents declaring how brilliant their children have it.

You'll see their kids on threads like this one day.

And they can't bear to acknowledge that. So clearly, anyone pointing that out needs therapy.

Sounds as balanced and accommodating as the rest of their thought process.

I don't know if people are just hard of thinking, or genuinely can't understand.

If someone can't have a child, and longs for one, that can't be made better by having a lovely house, or visiting 10 countries, or pets, cars, clothes.

If someone has all of the above (ie what pretty much everyone goes to work for, a nice home, a comfortable life, let's not pretend otherwise) then they aren't crawling though a dastardly miserable existence. They have all the supposedly "harder to attain" stuff that people strive for. It's nice. It's comfortable. It's enjoyable. Seeing so much of the world, the people, the cultures, is awesome.

But if you wanted a child, you'd swap the lot for the child. And I'd have swapped the lot for a sibling, and still would.

Parents who choose to have onlys don't like to hear that we'd rather have a sibling than all that stuff that they think it's so brilliant they've given us a head start on. It's all about them. My parents tell everyone how I loved being an only, and vocally pat themselves on the back for their obviously superior decision.

It's like listening to them echoing around this thread. They wouldn't ever be told, even from their own child, either.

Yep, there is so much bitterness here, that's the only explanation for wanting to come on to this thread and try and derail it. It's all so me, me, me.

100% agree with this, the bitterness in your posts is so overwhelming. Having a sibling or not having a sibling is ... just your life situation. Get over it. Sounds like you had a phenomenal amount of other benefits in your life, why not appreciate those a bit more?

@YellowphantGrey I'm so sorry for your losses.

@YellowphantGrey I am truly sorry for your losses. I am sorry you have felt you needed to share them.

I still can't believe how entitled and self absorbed some people have been on this thread. I might not know what it's like to be a truly be an only child but I know enough to know siblings aren't a cure for loneliness, anxiety or anything else people think has blighted their life by being an only child. Instead of people getting caught up in some magical fantasy of what a sibling could have been they would do well to actually seek professional help work through their feelings.

My heart goes out to those that have bravely shared stories of loss and how you cannot have more than one child. I hope those that are struggling with their choice take comfort from the positive stories shared by those that have only children and those that are adult only child and what research knows. I am not discounting peoples negative experience but they are in a minority and do not speak for everyone.

Yup.

As an only myself I just can't imagine thinking my parents should have had more children that they might not have wanted, just to make ME happy.

Maybe it's because I've been dealt with far worse shit in life than the horror of being an only child 🙄 but I can't be doing with this woe is me victim rubbish. You can't change the cards you've been dealt but you can change how you react to them. Get yourself together and cope.

To the parents of onlies don't worry, we're not all a miserable self centred bunch.

The thing is you feel you're entitled to tell others how they should be feeling and you don't seem to take on board that not all only children feel how you do or will. Not all only children will feel as you do.

I am sorry you have this loneliness in life but you sound immature and self centred. You post on thread after thread with your extreme tales of woe somehow managing to turn all threads about yourself and wanting everyone to feel sorry for you and give you reassurance. You seem to think you're the voice for only children and all only children are going to have the same sad lonely life you have.

You haven't even acknowledged the hurt you have caused some people with your vile posts and still play the victim. I am sorry you don't have siblings but you are not the tragic victim you think you are. If you want to have a meaningful life with connections I suggest you start to stop feeling so sorry for yourself and go out and live your life.

This.

Why are you listing out things they got you like ponies and cars and saying “does this mean they loved me” etc etc . What would have made you think they loved you ?? Why are you sooo resentful ? Because they didn’t give you a sibling ? I had a horrible late miscarriage, I will never tell my dc about it. I just cannot get over how immature , spoiled and entitled you sound

Wow. So You are soooo used to getting absolutely everything handed to you. It is clear the ONE thing you never got was a sibling and you don’t like not getting everything you want. You are an unbelievably spoiled and nasty individual. Thanks for highlighting this. I’ll endeavour not to raise my only to be like this. “Fat better life” … wait weren’t you just moaning earlier about how stuff doesn’t equal love. Stop contradicting yourself

DS16 is an only child - miracle baby anyway and I couldnt have more. Would have liked siblings for him but he’s happy, nursery from a baby has made him sociable and he makes friends easily. Household is calm place! With just one we can really help him in life. His best friend has 5 siblings so often he is glad to be an only!

I agree with this. There are a couple of only children (hate that phrase) within my wider family, and both (now adults) are really self assured, sociable, and contented people as adults, with great relationships with their parents. It has never seemed like they were missing out on anything by not having siblings, in fact they seem more well adjusted if anything. And yes, financially things must have been a lot easier. I wonder if not having to compete or compare yourself with siblings growing up, brings a calmer home atmosphere.

@StopInhalingRevels and @Strawberriesandpears in the kindest way you both need therapy.

No bickering, not too much noise, the atmosphere in the house is more likely to be calm and peaceful.

I have a sister I'm estranged from and probably about 40 cousins whom I don't have any contact with.

I feel this thread has kinda gotten off track a little, op asked for the positives.

In my own parents case I can say they would have had more money, a lot less stress because myself and my sister couldn't even stand to be in the same room as each other a lot of the time which I know was very upsetting to our mother, but you can make siblings get along and there is never any guarantees of it happening.

I can't say I would have felt lonely as an only child because I felt lonely as a kid whose sister never wanted to play with her, I had a better relationship with a girl who lived across the road from me. However I see loneliness as something I need to solve in my own life, not for a sister who is only tolerating me out of politeness because we are from the same family.

I wasn't going to say anything and lower myself to your standards however I am going to bite because your whole attitude is irritating me.

I actually have 3 children. Daniel, born September 15th 2004 died December 2nd 2004.

Lyla born 10th March 2006 died 11th March 2006

And my youngest born 2008.

He is an only child, will remain an only child and is not this desperately unhappy child you've convinced yourself he is. He isn't hiding anything from me, he express his feelings and emotions well because he is raised by two parents who have taught him how to communicate.

You seriously need therapy and to get a grip. Your maudling loneliness and sadness in life is down to you. Non wonder your alone if your this bitter and spend time on the Internet trying to make everyone as bitter as you.

You've forced my hand into revealing things I didn't want to. I'm not replying tk you anymore because I will end up getting banned for telling you the truth.

A lot of the posts here also completely seem to disregard the strain that additional children can put on parents and their relationship. I know a lot of couples where the second child was the straw that broke the camel's back for their partnership or marriage. So the child gets a sibling, but separated parents.
I am actually quite shocked by how many posters on here see their parents as baby making factories who shirked on their duty to produce them a sibling, rather than as people who probably had complex and valid reasons for not going for a second child.

I can assure you, I have no worries or feelings of guilt for having an only child.

Your life was clearly awful as a single child and seemingly your adult life too. But that doesn't mean single children will all lead the same life you did. My child has great friendships, great family relationships, cousins on both sides and Aunts on both sides. Just because I don't talk to my siblings, they still talk to each other.

You also only need to look at the boards on here and the majority of trouble and angst and money worries comes from families with multiple children.

But sure, keep peddling the narrative that all single children are doomed.