To ask for the positives of only having one child?

Thank you. I don't currently but am working on building friendships.

Please explain how you KNOW she would have been fine without her own family. I am intrigued!

Do you have any close friends ? Some of my close friends are more like sisters to me than my actual sister. Sorry to hear you are feeling so lonely.

Thank you, you get it. I wish your son well.

Peaceful house, more resources - time and money to spend on them and easier for activities and birthday parties. Also when they are in school trips you can plan your own trip without another child to worry about. Much easier to organise play dates and have time to yourself too. One and done by choice and never regretted it.

I had many failed pregnancies after having my one DS, and once I'd made peace with not having any more life with just one was great.

Like pp, he's always been comfortable with adult company, but also has loads of friends. He's delightful company, we never had any teenage dramas, and he's now 18 and currently interrailing with a friend (also an only child) around Europe.

My child was quite happy without siblings, and given how my useless sibling left me to handle everything when our parents died I can't imagine he'll be any worse off than I was on that front.

I've made sure he has good relationships cousins and extended family around the world, so that wherever he ends up living he'll have somewhere to go for Christmas.

No I am not happy. I would have rather have had a sibling or at least cousins I was close to. I feel very lonely and vulnerable as an adult with no family and I dread the future as my older relatives die.

I’ve got one, tried very hard for a second but gave up after a particularly traumatic loss.

There are two sides. Obviously it is cheaper, there are just the two of us (divorced and DC is very low contact with EA father). I can do things for one that I couldn’t do for two, buy them a car, support them with private health costs, driving lessons, very nice hotels on holidays as we are in one room. All that’s just monetary though isn’t it.

I do worry, it is literally just me and them and my ageing parents in the picture (siblings are geographically distant and we are not close).

I think it is easy to say, but my sibling is useless and I carry the weight, or we just don’t get on, etc., etc.. But my DC (who is not very robust, quiet and ND) being alone in the world when I am no longer here is a worry.

True. It's just sad I never even got the chance to find out if we would have got along.

@Strawberriesandpears - no need to respond if you don't want to, but are you happy with how things have turned out for you? If not what could you do to change them for the better?

Like I said my DH has two siblings that he never ever talks to. You can “needy “ one all you want it’s not going to happen at this stage. But even if it did there is no guarantee you would have gotten along with your siblings

Just ignore this melodramatic claptrap. My mum's an only child. Has literally no extended family but has loads of friends. She obviously has her own family but I know she'd have been fine in life if not. I work with a man that has five siblings he never sees. Doesn't even know the address for three of them!

My positives are that we have more time and money and I was able to return to work more easily. Life was/is more straightforward and easier.

I suppose a "negative" is that he doesn't have siblings, but on the odd occasion I have mentioned this, he has been fairly adamant he is happy not having them.

There are 13 years between me and my sister, we get on fine, always have done, but we didn't grow up together or have many shared experiences. I see my sister weekly, in fact we are round theirs this evening for a BBQ and cribbage. But honestly if she wasn't my sister I am not sure if we would have anything in common.

My DH grew up with his brother, they rarely talk. In fact we haven't seen him for nearly two years.

Yeah agreed, it helps if you have close bonds with cousins. I don't unfortunately.

That plan is fine, so long as you have the funds to pay for the home. You can't just 'stick someone in a home' if they can't pay / haven't been assessed as requiring LA funding.

Having more than one doesn’t mean they will get on either as children or adults.

I think everything else I would add has already been said.

Yeah agreed, I am very 'needy'. I 'needy' a family! 😂

My DD is an only child. We deliberately have helped her build strong relationships with her cousins which have continued into adulthood.

Of course as copious threads on Mumsnet prove, having one or more siblings doesn't necessarily mean life long support and friendship.

I am sorry that people have had bad experiences being an only child on this thread but it isn't the experience of all only children.

Plus you have someone to look after you in old age.

Nonsense. That is the wrong reason to have a child, and you should never assume that they will stay around to look after you.

DD is an only because I couldn't have any more children. I had her at 41 and have told her to stick me into residential care if I can't look after myself. I do not want her to spend her life looking after me when she is still relatively young.

Good for you! Really glad to hear that.

Yes well we have heard from several only children who are having only children themselves on this thread. So perhaps he will enjoy the “card” he has been “handed” who knows ? My DH has two siblings who he never ever talks to. There is no guarantee of anything. You sound pretty needy to be honest

Get a grip.

You haven't managed to build close relationships with people outside your family as an adult. That's your own fault. Put in the effort. I have friends who would have me for Christmas if I was ever alone. I'm closer to some of my friends than my own family.

I think most posters have already covered most of the points.
Apart from time and money I would add less stress over the below:

Teenagers - relationship and friendship issues
Public exams - GCSEs and A levels
UCAS - university applications
University - financial and emotional support, guarantor for rentals

I speak from experience

I have two but we struggled for five years to have our second in which time I was coming to terms with it. The pros I found were:

Life is easy, one child can slot into your routine. Our older child is really adaptable and can stay up late, then lie-in etc. We would get a cheap flight in the middle of the night and he would be fine with it. He was old enough not to tantrum (ten years old). He’s basically a buddy in lots of ways

You can do everything together, you never miss out. And the bond is extremely strong for that reason.

I love having two but there are definite pros to having one. It’s difficult though when your heart wants something else, it doesn’t really matter what others say.

We went down the IVF route in the end, do you think you’d consider freezing your eggs now so that you have that as an option if you meet someone in the future? You may decide you don’t want to use them but then you have a choice.

Why though? I didn't ask to be born.