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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Schoolgirls spiked my daughter’s drink with laxatives.

604 replies

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 17:27

This is more of a WWYD I guess.

My daughter has been bullied recently at school, some physical, some verbal and this week the bullies poured laxatives into her water bottle at lunchtime and I had to leave work to collect her.

I’ve not heard anything more from the school or the parents and the children are still in school.

I’m interested to hear what you think and what you would do in this situation as this is not acceptable.

OP posts:
MissionBiscuits · 12/07/2024 20:12

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 19:55

Thank you Crumpleton, this is what I feel, I guess I just needed to hear it.

I don’t want to cause a scene but at the same time I can’t afford to let these kids get away with such harmful behaviour.

FFS OP what is wrong with you? What would make you want to cause a scene?! What message is this sending to your DD about her worth?

Have you checked that the little shits haven't filmed the whole thing and put it on social media?

Symphony830 · 12/07/2024 20:11

Doltontweedle · 12/07/2024 17:28

I would 100% honestly file a police report for assault. How old are they?

Was just going to same the same because it is an assault and I believe going in at the very worst possible angle is the right way to approach.

Tosstyhat · 12/07/2024 20:11

I'd contact the police to be honest. Surely this counts as drugging?

TheHouseElf · 12/07/2024 20:09

DecafGreen · 12/07/2024 19:59

What do you mean you don't want to create a scene? They poisoned your daughter. She needs you to create a scene.

Agree. If there was ever a time to create a 'scene' this would be it.
You need to protect your child - and God forbid any others - from these bullies. Else it'll be something far worse that they'll do next time.
Don't let there be a next time - for your daughter, or anyone else.

SofiaAmes · 12/07/2024 20:08

Report to the police!!!!! My biggest regret was not making a police report about my ds being assaulted on a school trip (They put a pillowcase over his head and pummelled him while holding him down.) The school just played it down as rough housing between children. I never got a satisfactory answer about where the parent and teacher supervisors were. And even though my ds could name at least two of the children, there were never any consequences.

If an adult did what happened to your dd to another adult, there would be criminal charges. Please report to the police.

Nottodaythankyou123 · 12/07/2024 20:07

Cityandmakeup · 12/07/2024 20:01

This. The school will need proof and ask why she drank it or didn’t mention it

Read the OP’s message - they forced her to drink it in front of them

poetryandwine · 12/07/2024 20:06

Many excellent tips and posts here, particularly from @violetcuriosity , @MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira and@Crumpleton

I also think the school are hoping you will let this go because of the looming summer break. Please hold them to account via the police as suggested. I would also copy in the Governors and be prepared to contact Ofsted

This is vile. Best wishes to your DD

RosePippi · 12/07/2024 20:06

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 19:55

Thank you Crumpleton, this is what I feel, I guess I just needed to hear it.

I don’t want to cause a scene but at the same time I can’t afford to let these kids get away with such harmful behaviour.

Absolutely cause a scene. Your daughter who is still a junior needs you to advocate for her. In a place where she should be safe.

i was badly bullied at school and it’s left mental scars on me. I didn’t tell my mum for a a very long time. But when I did and the school didn’t do anything, she went absolutely bonkers at the head teacher, said she was getting the police involved and would also be reporting to safeguarding. The staff were terified of her there after.

I got a new respect for my mum after that, I’d never felt more supported or safe knowing she had my back and would cause as many scenes as needed to make sure I was ok.

Please don’t worry about what the school thinks of you. Your daughter needs you to be in her corner, doing everything possible to ensure she is happy and safe at school.

Nottodaythankyou123 · 12/07/2024 20:06

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 19:55

Thank you Crumpleton, this is what I feel, I guess I just needed to hear it.

I don’t want to cause a scene but at the same time I can’t afford to let these kids get away with such harmful behaviour.

Cause a scene! They’ve assaulted your daughter and they absolutely deserve consequences. I’d also be calling the police, and reporting to the governors if you don’t get a response from the school.

ForestForever · 12/07/2024 20:06

I would report it to the police and put the school in the position to have to corroborate the fact they had the laxatives on them and having to explain why they haven’t appropriately punished these vile children. Yep, children can be vile and those vile children who go unpunished often turn into vile adults frankly. Utterly disgraceful all round from the school. This is literally criminal and needs tackling immediately. I would be camped on their doorstep until I was satisfied appropriate action would be taken.

Pookerrod · 12/07/2024 20:05

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 19:55

Thank you Crumpleton, this is what I feel, I guess I just needed to hear it.

I don’t want to cause a scene but at the same time I can’t afford to let these kids get away with such harmful behaviour.

I’m not normally one to say such things and normally let my kids sort out their own squabbles, but….

You need to cause a scene. This is ABH, possibly GBH. This is definitely a police matter.

Amigettingfired · 12/07/2024 20:05

Change schools no question. Don’t make her go back there, even once.

neverbeenskiing · 12/07/2024 20:04

FrippEnos · 12/07/2024 18:15

I would report to the police, LADO and the schools Designated Safety Lead.
This is a major safeguarding incident.

Why on earth would you report to the LADO?

People on this thread really need to stop advising OP to involve people and services whose roles they clearly don't understand.

Inthemosquitogarden · 12/07/2024 20:03

Please cause a scene. If you won’t step up for your daughter and cause a scene now, what would it take?

Tell school you are filing a police report, which you can do completely independently from their internal school investigation.

The girls would have been expelled instantly from DC school (albeit it’s private so I think easier to show students the door. But if the facts are clear it happens that day or the next).

And yes, as per pp, there is a specific offence of administering a substance (but the law needs to be tightened up, which is what Labour intends to do, to address drink spiking in clubs etc).

Wontletmeusemynormalname · 12/07/2024 20:03

Given your update, screw the school. You gave them a chance. Report to thr police.

Cookiecrumblepie · 12/07/2024 20:03

STAND UP FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. Do everything you can.

PeloMom · 12/07/2024 20:02

You must protect your child. You must create a scene! This is unacceptable. As everyone else said, time to file a police report. They are 13, not 3 (not that it’s excusable at 3 either). Is your DD ok- I don’t mean physically, I mean mentally and emotionally, after this ordeal?

dontforgetme · 12/07/2024 20:02

Those nasty little shits Angry
So sorry this happened to your poor dd.

Go nuclear with this. Police, governors the fucking lot.

gamerchick · 12/07/2024 20:01

Shocking. It's assault and I'd be getting the police involved. They need a fright.

Cityandmakeup · 12/07/2024 20:01

ouch321 · 12/07/2024 17:43

Not clear what happened.

How did they get hold of her bottle and did they literally drop the tablets into the bottle in front of her, otherwise how would she know?

Presumably she didn't drink it knowing it was contaminated so why did you have to pick her up early?

Doesn't make sense.

This. The school will need proof and ask why she drank it or didn’t mention it

MissMoneyFairy · 12/07/2024 20:01

You have to make a scene to protect your daughter and others who may get bullied

Luckypoppy · 12/07/2024 20:01

As a teacher, please report to the police.

Brefugee · 12/07/2024 20:01

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 19:55

Thank you Crumpleton, this is what I feel, I guess I just needed to hear it.

I don’t want to cause a scene but at the same time I can’t afford to let these kids get away with such harmful behaviour.

you have to show your daughter, the school and her bullies that you have her back.

Get a backbone - stand up for your child.

crumblingschools · 12/07/2024 20:00

If you go down complain route with OFSTED follow the school’s complaints policy first

DecafGreen · 12/07/2024 19:59

Halfordscarpark · 12/07/2024 19:55

Thank you Crumpleton, this is what I feel, I guess I just needed to hear it.

I don’t want to cause a scene but at the same time I can’t afford to let these kids get away with such harmful behaviour.

What do you mean you don't want to create a scene? They poisoned your daughter. She needs you to create a scene.