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Original poster

What are your true thoughts re this violent incident?

242 replies

Poiboi · 12/07/2024 15:55

A woman finds out her fiance has cheated. In her anger she throws an object at the fiance - causing a split lip.

What are your honest thoughts on this violence.

I am neither person mentioned. I have witnessed surprising reactions to this ‘incident’ though. Shocked me tbh.

OP posts:
Puffinfoot · 12/07/2024 16:17

LizFromMotherland · 12/07/2024 16:10

And your daughter if you had/have one?

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Violence by men against women is different though. It just is, because of the power imbalance. Almost all situations where posters say, it would be different if it was man/woman are irrelevant. Of course it's different.

KeirSpoutsTwaddle · 12/07/2024 16:17

What did you expect to hear? Violence is never ok. Throwing things is violence even if not intended to hit.

I think the incident is forgivable if both parties know it wasn’t intended to hit anyone. But she needs to learn not to throw stuff in rage.

I wouldn’t forgive the cheating, unless it was equally accidental 🤣.

NewPinkJacket · 12/07/2024 16:17

SerendipityJane · 12/07/2024 16:15

"Look what you made me do"

100%

Anonym00se · 12/07/2024 16:17

We don’t know the backstory. If there has been cheating, had there also been gaslighting and coercive control? (Likely where there is infidelity.) Sally Challen may have been ‘wrong’ when she killed her abusive husband with a hammer, but she wasn’t in her right mind due to suffering years of abuse at the hands of a cheating monster.

Beezknees · 12/07/2024 16:17

Devilsmommy · 12/07/2024 16:13

@Beezknees no I wouldn't because men are stronger than women and a man pegging something at a woman would be done alot fucking harder. And before you jump on me I've been in that situation and men don't throw with shit aim

You're talking rubbish and minimising violence.

redskydarknight · 12/07/2024 16:16

Sapphire387 · 12/07/2024 16:10

I think it does make a difference. If it was something that couldn't reasonably be expected to cause an injury, it's a bit different to throwing something sharp/heavy.

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Objects that you wouldn't reasonably expect to cause an injury don't cause split lips. Small scratches maybe if they catch the person wrong.

LizFromMotherland · 12/07/2024 16:16

Devilsmommy · 12/07/2024 16:13

@Beezknees no I wouldn't because men are stronger than women and a man pegging something at a woman would be done alot fucking harder. And before you jump on me I've been in that situation and men don't throw with shit aim

Utter tosh.

The object split his lip regardless of the vagina owning thrower.

And also could've blinded him considering her shit aim.

cupcaske123 · 12/07/2024 16:16

Poiboi · 12/07/2024 16:14

She threw a photo frame

But photo frames can be heavy and contain glass. She could have had an eye out.

DanielGault · 12/07/2024 16:16

SerendipityJane · 12/07/2024 16:15

"Look what you made me do"

God yes, isn't that it.

StormingNorman · 12/07/2024 16:16

Cheating is awful. Doesn’t give you the right to throw things at people.

itsgettingweird · 12/07/2024 16:15

Bit different regards a child though. Not great but being cheated on n when you're supposed to be getting married is a fucking insult and a half. Shouldn't have thrown shit but he's not severely injured is he. Maybe with his next one he'll think twice about being a cheating cockwomble🤷

And if a woman cheated on her fiancé and he threw something at her you'd say it ok?

sentfrmmyiphone · 12/07/2024 16:15

Poiboi · 12/07/2024 16:14

100% not me

you're the other woman aren't you 😂

SerendipityJane · 12/07/2024 16:15

"Look what you made me do"

OldTinHat · 12/07/2024 16:14

I knew of someone who found out her fiance was cheating. She threw absolutely everything out of his kitchen cupboards onto the floor (not at him). She ended up with a criminal record.

Original poster
Poiboi · 12/07/2024 16:14

100% not me

OP posts:
Original poster
Poiboi · 12/07/2024 16:14

She threw a photo frame

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 12/07/2024 16:14

Poiboi · 12/07/2024 16:06

If it makes a difference she is sorry and didn’t really expect to hit him due to poor aim

Was she really really sorry?

Does she really really love him?

Does he need to forgive ?

Was it his fault anyway?

Was he making too much of a fuss over nothing?

Does he need to leave it now?

Perpetrator playbook for DV.

It also sounds like you aren't asking for a friend...

Devilsmommy · 12/07/2024 16:13

@Beezknees no I wouldn't because men are stronger than women and a man pegging something at a woman would be done alot fucking harder. And before you jump on me I've been in that situation and men don't throw with shit aim

LizFromMotherland · 12/07/2024 16:13

Devilsmommy · 12/07/2024 16:10

Bit different regards a child though. Not great but being cheated on n when you're supposed to be getting married is a fucking insult and a half. Shouldn't have thrown shit but he's not severely injured is he. Maybe with his next one he'll think twice about being a cheating cockwomble🤷

Show quote history

It's not.

If throwing an object at someone is ok because they made you angry, then it's ok to throw it at anyone if you're angry.

Violent reactions are just that.

And if you choose your violent reaction according to who makes you angry, that's pretty sinister and shows they CAN control themselves if they want to.

itsgettingweird · 12/07/2024 16:13

It's domestic abuse.

The cheating wasn't ok. The feeling angry due to the cheating was ok. Expressing that anger is ok.

Throwing something at someone out of anger is not ok. That's not self defence.

(Unless you're about to drip feed they were running at her threatening to hurt her and this was a way to stop it?!)

soscarlet · 12/07/2024 16:13

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 12/07/2024 16:03

Both wrong. She is showing anger which is an immature expression of other emotions. Be upset or disappointed but not agree

What?! Anger is a legitimate emotion, it’s not immature. People are allowed to feel it!

Obviously the way it’s been expressed is awful, but the emotion itself is not forbidden.

ARichtGoodDram · 12/07/2024 16:12

Poiboi · 12/07/2024 16:06

If it makes a difference she is sorry and didn’t really expect to hit him due to poor aim

Nobody in a fit of rage throws something thinking “I probably won’t hit him anyway”.

Thats she’s surprised afterwards that she managed to successfully do what she intended in that moment doesn’t excuse it and shouldn’t be used to minimise it.

godmum56 · 12/07/2024 16:12

Poiboi · 12/07/2024 16:06

If it makes a difference she is sorry and didn’t really expect to hit him due to poor aim

if her aim is poor the outcome could have been worse. The intention was to do violence.

DanielGault · 12/07/2024 16:12

Sapphire387 · 12/07/2024 16:10

I think it does make a difference. If it was something that couldn't reasonably be expected to cause an injury, it's a bit different to throwing something sharp/heavy.

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No! That really is the thing end of the wedge. One of the first things we teach our children is that we don't throw things. Ever. Why on earth would we consider it acceptable from adults?

OrwellianTimes · 12/07/2024 16:12

Cheating isn’t punishable by law. Domestic violence is.