What are your true thoughts re this violent incident?

She assaulted him, that's illegal.
Sex between consenting adults isnt illegal, he has committed no crime.

Bloody hell. That is a spectacularly insensitive response to that particular poster, given what she shared.

@Anonym00se You weren't violent to your partner. Destroying property may be wrong, but it's not in the same league as actual violence towards someone. There is nothing in your story to suggest you are a danger to anyone.

It is not normal or OK to throw things at people.

Lucky it was just a split lip... could lose an eye or worse. Infidelity is wrong, but not an excuse for assault.

I'm old enough to remember well before 10-20 years ago!

And no - throwing objects at your partner was not considered normal then.

To suggest that I’d ever be violent to my (now grown up) children is insulting.

Oh well, that's something violent people have to live with when they throw photo frames out of temper 🤷‍♀️

If this happened in Brazil, the cheater deserved it.

In the UK, it is not acceptable but understandable.

I agree. My mum used to throw things at my dad when she was in a rage (she had 'anger management issues'). That was well over 20 years ago, and I knew it was wrong even as a child. And it was no less damaging to see a woman do it than to to see a man do it.

It has never been normal or okay to throw objects at your partner (although in some of the cases described upthread, it may well be understandable). If someone has been exposed to lots of relationships like this, or if they're in a relationship like this, I hope they don't tell themselves it's normal, because it's not.

Things have improved a lot in the last decade or two.

Is anyone else reading some of these posts absolutely aghast? ‘Violent abuse’, ‘domestic violence’, ‘worry about her future children’. What batshit responses. To liken a brief moment of rage in a woman who probably had the most traumatic few minutes of her life to sustained violence against women just minimises the suffering that some women experience at the hands of abusive men. It’s not the same and you know it. Honestly, people suggesting he ring the police?? That he could have died?? What nonsense. His behaviour was far worse, not even in the same ballpark.

I wouldn’t be that judgemental to be honest. When someone’s attacked they lash out. It’s a fight or flight response. An emotional attack is no different to a physical one.

I'm sorry but no. Her emotional pain, as bad as it was, does not entitle her to physically abuse someone. I bet you wouldn't say the same for a man in the same situation. You get screwed over in love, you gather yourself and your stuff, and you don't look back. You don't start throwing shit.

It wasn't OK 10-20 years ago. Sorry but if you think this is normal and most people have done it that is worrying. It's not normal.

I was in a relationship with somebody I absolutely trusted who cheated on me to an extravagant degree. if I’d known what he was up to, there’s no way, I would’ve continued having sex with him, so he fucked me for five years by tricking me, that’s not consent.

I’ve been sexually assaulted and dealt with a whole array of abusive behaviour from various different men in my life over the years, so I feel I can talk about this nuance- I always wonder about infidelity, for me it was an absolute sexual violation, whether you think it’s reasonable to say it’s rape or not- I think it’s extremely abusive to trick somebody else into having sex with you and that’s why people flip out so badly when they find out

Violent people always find an excuse for violence.

OP are you the cheatee?

I would imagine the pain this woman felt when confronted with the news that her finance, the man she loved and planned to build a family and life with, who had betrayed her in the worst of ways, was tantamount to intense emotional violence. Her physically violent reaction was not acceptable, but an intense emotional outburst in the face of intense emotional pain isn’t wholly unusual and I refuse to judge her as harshly as some of the posters on this thread. People can behave entirely out of character under these highly emotionally charged circumstances. Mitigating circumstances wouldn’t exist in law if this wasn’t widely recognised as being the case.

I don’t condone her behaviour, but I reserve most of my contempt for him.

It was not considered okay 10 or 20 years ago! Especially not over something as trivial as a "bad mood".

You've obviously witnessed a lot of very unhealthy relationships if you think it was ever normal.

I absolutely agree and I most certainly didn't say it was right nor was I trying to justify my action. I was 59 years old at the time and in all those years had never displayed the slightest tendency towards physical anger. However, the shock of my husband's sudden announcement and the fact that he stood there cruelly taunting me had that momentary effect on me.

I think it's fair to say your case is particularly difficult.

Christ almighty. If a man was saying that he'd be destroyed and rightly so. Do you physically assault everyone you come across in life who lets you down?

It is wrong.
That said, I am doubtful that most on this thread have not thrown things at a partner because they were in a bad mood. Certainly 10-20 years OK when it was considered more OK.

No it doesn't make a difference that she's sorry. Why would it?

Bollocks. No one should throw anything.
Pointing out men are more likely to cause a serious injury than women isn’t prejudice against men nor is it saying it’s ok if it’s a woman.

I'm trying not to judge tbf I think the majority of people are capable of a moment of madness if doesn't mean they've been awful all their life's or will continue to be.

I have been in exactly this situation; cheated on by my fiancé a few weeks before our wedding and yes I threw something. I wasn’t trying to hurt or hit him but had a huge woosh of emotion to let out.
Despite being a terrible person according to MN, I have managed to live for the next 40 years without ever resorting to violence or even a raised voice with my husband and three children.
Think the cheating twat deserved it.