Wife doesn’t want to have sex

I agree with this, especially that you need to stop having sex with her when she is clearly doing it just to get you to stop asking for a while. Icky.

How is your intimacy outside of sex? Are you able to separate the two - I had an ex who couldn't, and it killed our sex life because every time I wanted a cuddle, he thought he was getting sex.

You really need to have a conversation away from the bedroom about how you both are in the relationship as a whole. Is she tired/overwhelmed with the mental load if two children under 10? There will be an underlying reason. It might not be you, but it may be and you need to be prepared to hear it.

Sometimes women go off a partner who isn't pulling their weight because the dynamic changes from partners to parent or housekeeper.

If I'm doing your washing, making your pack up and asking whether you want anything from the shops and what you want to do at the weekend, then I'm going to feel like your mum.

If I'm constantly available to the dc then you start groping me as well, then sorry that shop's shut.

If you're booking a table at a restaurant and organising a babysitter, well that looks a lot more like a date. But it's not instant. It's not a chores/sex slot machine.

Omg, give the man a chance. Posters often drip feed initially but reading these responses it seems there are some very cynical and cruel women around just waiting to stick the boot in. The pile on with assumptions about how it is all HIS fault is just shameful.

Get a grip. If you can't say anything nice, better to say nothing at all.

Anyone who actually does this deserves to be alone. How manipulative and immature!

Could it be she’s lost her confidence in her body as she’s got older? I’ve put on a few pounds over the last few years and have gone off sex for that reason.

Yes

Not always, no. Women and men go off sex, with their partners, for a multitude of reasons. It’s not usually about housework.

Any need?

With so little info its very difficult to know what is going on, but tbh it does sound like she has gone off you, sorry. Your sex life sounds so joyless, i think you should tell her that you can't go on like this and she needs to be frank with you about the reason she doesn't want to have sex with you, even if it's going to be hurtful. If she just isn't interested any more you might end up having to separate.

Awww poor you.

I think a sexless marriage is more deep rooted than who did the dusting last. It should be a way of expressing love, not a battle.🤷‍♀️

Jesus Christ - ‘give me sex without discussion, even if there is a valid reason why you’re not wanting to right now or I’ll leave one day without warning, because getting my end away is more important than not causing untold damage to our young family….’

Oh god OP you're brave 😂Prepare for an onslaught of comments about how you need to pull your weight with housework!

No, I agree. A sexless marriage doesn’t work unless both parties agree.

I’d talk it through and work out the best options from there.

Make it clear to her that you regard sexual intimacy as an essential part of your relationship. Then give it was months. Regardless of what discussions you have had in the meantime, at 12 months you need to physically leave her without notice. She has had fair warning.

This, every time.

We stop fancying you because you show us with your actions that you don't care about us. You're happy for us to do it all - all the domestic shitwork, all the thinking and organising and most of the parenting. You think you're worth more than us, and that you deserve more than us. This is what your actions show us.

Do you load and unload the dishwasher without being asked? Do you know how to tumble dry a PE kit? Do you go to parents' evenings?

Or option 3, talk to each other about why she’s not wanting a sexual connection with her husband right now and accept the answer may not be something you’d want to hear (whether it’s either one or both of them being the root of the issue)….

I believe it’s an actual thing.
If part of your caring/motherly/household duties include taking on those jobs for an adult, who should be equally responsible for those tasks (eg a manchild who doesn’t pull his weight) it changes the psychological dynamics of the relationship.

You have two choices. Either accept that you will be in a relationship with little or no sex, or end the relationship. Both are absolutely fine, it just depends which you prefer.

Or you could be adults and attempt to genuinely address the issue.

Yeah, I would.

Life’s too short for a boring sexless marriage. Fuck that.

Oh goody! 🍿🍿🍿

🤣 I'm using that one😆😆😆

For me sex is a way of feeling connected and loved and not having it frequently makes me feel unwanted.

What do you mean by frequently?