Gambling lies

Yes. But you are now married. That makes all the difference in the world - and should do to him also.

Doesn't really matter if it's within his means, surely it matters because you're a family and this is money that is being deprived of the family.

Do you have someone who can take the kids for a few hours so you both can talk?

Regardless of what he's spending the money on you would be totally reasonable to want to have a chat about money and household budget.

Interested to know how he gambled from age 8 or did you mean 18?

This ^

Honestly after being the child in this situation growing up I would walk away the minute I found out my partner was gambling. Gamblers never stop gambling in my experience so leave now before it fucks up your kids any more than it already has would be my advice.

I became addicted to online casinos a couple of years ago. I know it sounds stupid but it’s such a hard habit to kick, it’s so easily accessible, I kept blocking accounts but then the next day just opened another. If your partner wants to stop, or you can convince him to stop, I would get him to register with gamstop, it means you can’t register with new sites and it blocks any sites your already registered with. You can also block payments to gambling sites from your banking app so you can’t use your card in the bookies.

OP, do you actually know the extent of his gambling? He seems to only talk to you about it when he is broke.

Is the house safeguarded? Children's money? No ability to take out additional loans and credit cards in your name or against the house? If you don't know then I would find out.

My father gambled. We had so little money in the family because of it. The house was nearly lost, four children under 7 and we'd just moved; my Mother never really recovered from it. It definitely blighted our childhoods and quite a bit beyond.

Your situation may not be serious but, you can never, ever trust a gambler. Their 'addiction' is all important. Make sure that you and your children are insulated.

My husband gambles. Too much and has done ever since I’ve known him. We have separate finances for this reason.

Had many high and lows over the years because of it.

We both have x amount spare a month and his is usually spent on gambling. This is after all bills are accounted for an up to now we’ve never not paid a bill on time.

On a bad month, he blows his wages and is skint 1/2 days after payday. Usually followed by a few days of moods/sulking.
On a good month, he has a some winners and we do something like book a holiday- husband is also a spender.

It is tough and still does cause problems from time to time but we do seem to have come to a mutual (ish) compromise.

Can totally understand why this would be unacceptable for others.

You’re never going to know unless you speak him but to be honest when you do, I wouldn’t expect the truth from him. Gambling and lying unfortunately go hand in hand
Can he afford what he’s spending? Are you worried about it being an addiction/getting into debt?

I sympathise OP, my dp is a gambler and has been since the age of 8. It's all he knew and seen growing up, im at my wits end with it all but it is an addiction, sadly.

I do a lot of matched betting and you generally only get free bets/spins if you bet first. 'Bet £10 to get £5 free bet', 'Bet £10 to get 10 free spins' etc. Occasionally they'll offer you 5 spins or 3 spins for free, but it's to try and hook you in.

Give the gamcare helpline a call on 0808 8020 133. They will be able to offer you advice and can direct you to support in your area. If you go on their website then their is a family and affected other forum you can read to get some advice from people who are affected by someone else's gambling.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately problem gambling can be very hidden and even the people who are gambling problematically can be in a lot if denial about their gambling.

Sounds like he's blowing it all. If he claims to be skint then he is talking to you. Can you not ask why he's skint? Which will lead to mentioning gambling. Tell him you're worried for the family and can you see his gambling account.

I gamble, but l also do lots of free daily spins on many sites.
However l have a budget now and if l lose l stop. l can afford it and I'm not skint the rest of month. I know the bookies always win
He's probaley lying to you, my DP hates it when l gamble l always say its free spins when it's not.
Ask him to show the sites he's on they will show a profit and lose balance in his account Not just this month but the lifetime balance.

You need to have a conversation or if that's impossible perhaps the only way is writing him a letter. I am not into gambling at all, the way I would deal with if there was to be any way the relationship would continue is to get his salary paid into an account I manage and then I'd transfer an agreed 'allowance' into his account. If he can't behave like a responsible adult he needs to be treated like a child. Make sure his bad choices can't ruin your credit rating although since you have separate accounts that should be fine. I would also check he is actually paying the bills he's meant to be paying.