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Original poster

Family help with kids

59 replies

Cinocino · 12/07/2024 11:33

I know I am being unreasonable, but when does it get easier having young kids with no help??

I know my kids are my responsibility blahh I get that, I really do. I’m not expecting weekly or regular childcare but every now and then you just realise how shit it is when you can’t really go on a date because your kids are too young to be comfortable with a stranger babysitter and you need to pick between who attends a close friend’s wedding because you don’t have anyone who could have your kids overnight.

It just seems like everyone I know around me have lots of family on hand to mind their kids for the night, look after them in the day and then phone to say “why don’t I just do dinner and bed for them here and drop then home in the morning?” Even having them while the couple go on holiday!

How do you navigate things if you have no ‘help’?
Date nights? Weddings? Just not feeling burned out?
Or do I just need to be told to get over myself?!

Kids are 3 and 1 but to be honest I don’t really see how it gets better with age!

OP posts:
NewDay00 · 12/07/2024 11:49

SummerDays2020 · 12/07/2024 11:48

I found it hard sometimes when all my friends had babysitters on tap and exactly the same as you had to pick who would go to things.

However, what I noticed was the grandparents who were really involved with their grandchildren were quite interfering about how they were brought up. So I decided in the end it was a trade off - I had no help but also no interference!

That's odd for that to be the norm. I know so many people with parents who help and their relationships are great. I dont actually know any of them where the parents interfere rather than just be loving grandparents.

SummerDays2020 · 12/07/2024 11:48

I found it hard sometimes when all my friends had babysitters on tap and exactly the same as you had to pick who would go to things.

However, what I noticed was the grandparents who were really involved with their grandchildren were quite interfering about how they were brought up. So I decided in the end it was a trade off - I had no help but also no interference!

Lemonyyy · 12/07/2024 11:46

We worked quite hard to build a social network of other parents who help each other out. My oldest is coming up to be able to babysit now so feel like we've made it more or less lol. The first few years were hard though!

NewDay00 · 12/07/2024 11:45

Why not get them used to a babysitter so they are no longer a stranger?

Prinnny · 12/07/2024 11:45

We have no help, so date nights/meals out include DD, we’re the 3 musketeers! It’s been hard at times but there’s no other option so that’s just how it is.

MalbecandToast · 12/07/2024 11:43

Second both nursery staff for babysitting and the daytime dates. DH and I take a day off work every other month and do something just the two of us whilst kids are at school/nursery.

Zanatdy · 12/07/2024 11:42

It’s hard, I didn’t go out for years, mine have grown up now. They aren’t little forever. Do they go to a nursery? As some of the workers will do babysitting so not leaving them with a stranger. It’s worth trying to get a babysitter for some time together, as it’s really not easy when you have zero help

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/07/2024 11:42

It is what it is. It does get better over time.

123letsblaze · 12/07/2024 11:39

You just have to sacrifice stuff like date nights for a few years, or take days off work during the week together. Sometimes weddings etc only one of you can go. It's what we have to do. It can suck but we accept it.

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