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Original poster

Dh’s mum is likely to pass away, Dd having intrusive thoughts, do I tell my parents not to come and stay? (title edited by MNHQ at request of OP)

211 replies

Whyisthisallhappening · 12/07/2024 10:00

We live abroad, my parents are due to come out this weekend to stay as they always do. My Dd has been quite ill for a week or so, signs of inflammation, erratic behaviour and saying some awful things (intrusive thoughts) I’ve told my parents this. Now we’ve just found out that Dh’s mum is due to pass away.
Everything seems to be coming down at once, do I tell my parents to cancel the flight until another time or could it be a help having them
around, what would you do?

OP posts:
JaninaDuszejko · 12/07/2024 10:05

Ask your DH if he'd prefer for them to not come but it also depends on your relationship with them, will they be a help or a hindrance. Speak to them as well, they might want to go to your MIL's funeral or they might prefer to come to you for a nice relaxing holiday and so would prefer to delay.

CelesteCunningham · 12/07/2024 10:05

I would cancel, assuming your DH will be at home. When my dad died I didn't have it in me to make small talk with the in-laws, he'll want to just come home and switch off. And I love my in-laws but I did find it a bit tough playing happy families with them the first few times too.

I'm sure your parents will understand when you explain about your MIL.

Favouritefruits · 12/07/2024 10:04

They should come for help and support, it’s going to be a stressful time the more support you have the better. You’ve warned them your partner is poorly so they know what to expect !

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 12/07/2024 10:04

It depends - will they be useful and helpful? Or will you need to spend the next 2 weeks entertaining and running round after them?

AprilShowerslastforHours · 12/07/2024 10:04

Depends on all involved. Will they be happy having their holiday overshadowed or will they insist on having a good time regardless?

CalamityClam · 12/07/2024 10:03

I would postpone them. Your DH is going to need you, and your DD needs support also.
Would they come at a later time when YOU will need their support after everything has settled?

Sunnydiary · 12/07/2024 10:03

Well you know them and we don’t.

Will they be useful?

Will they be kind to DD?

Is MIL in your country or will DH have to leave to see her/family?

Procrastinates · 12/07/2024 10:02

I'm sorry you all seem to be having a rubbish time at present but no I honestly don't think you can cancel at such short notice.

OneTC · 12/07/2024 10:02

If this was our families they'd still come, and it would be welcome. Depends what the relationship is like between the 2 families.

Also assuming DH mum is local

shellyleppard · 12/07/2024 10:02

I would let them come as planned, you and your dh are going to need the support x sorry for your loss x

Original poster
Whyisthisallhappening · 12/07/2024 10:00

They’re due to stay for two weeks and Dh’s mum will likely pass away today.

OP posts: