To not take the test as it will just break me

This was me a couple of months ago. I'd missed a couple of pills for the first time in 30 years, had sex and terrified of a test.

My family is complete.

I tested and got the results I needed.

You know you need to test. You can and will deal with whatever the result is.

Sending a big hug x

@Rosesbeforelove

I understand your reluctance to test because of your past experiences. But right now you're putting yourself through agonies of roller coaster emotions; hope, denial, despair, rinse and repeat. You'll keep going through those emotions until the question is resolved.

If you test you'll either be very happy or very upset. But that's only one emotion and it won't last forever. And you can access support until you've recovered your equilibrium. So just test. There's nothing worse than not knowing.

Best of luck and hope you get the result you want. We'll be here, either way.

You need to test.

One reason is that if you're pregnant, and you decide to keep the baby, you need to start now to adapt your lifestyle- no drinking, taking folic acid etc.

NOT testing is not going to change anything, is it?

But if you do the test, you will have the information you need and be able to decide what you want.

I'm unsure from what you've said if you want a baby now ( at your age, issue of redundancy, no permanent partner) so you need to know to decide what to do next.

All the best.

Hormones are shit, we to through so much as women, I'm sorry to read this OP. However those were the first symptoms of peri menopause for my mum, and they started in her early 40s. It's unlikely you are pregnant. Just rip the bandaid off, take the test ASAP as you'll just cause yourself more hurt by letting all these feelings come up.

Take the test OP. I got pregnant on the pill with my first baby. Never missed a single pill and boom pregnant so it can happen. I really hope you get the result you want but I feel either way there will be tears. Please come back and update us all x

Don’t take any more pills.

But a period from a pill break is absolutely not a reliable indicator of anything regardless. So you wouldn’t be any the wiser.

But if you are pregnant and want to keep it you need folic acid, so really you do need to know. If you are pregnant continued taking of the contraceptive pill is a really bad idea.

I read somewhere that it helps to think of predictive text as a small imp who is trying really hard to help you with your typing, but is actually very drunk indeed, @Rosesbeforelove. I call autocorrect, autocarrot.

In your shoes, I think I would take the test, but I can absolutely understand why you are reluctant. I really hope you get the result you want.

I think you have to take the test, or the uncertainty and lingering hope will destroy you.

Worrying has never changed a factual outcome/situation. Worrying in this situation a waste of time, emotion & energy.

Take the test. Then you know decisions or not to make.

Agree

I think do the test. It's the uncertainty that's driving you mad. Better to know one way or the other. I don't think your 'wait it out' method would be very reliable either. If you are on the pill, chances are you're not pregnant. But the pill periods aren't normal periods. So getting one or not wouldn't reliably tell you one way or the other.

I really feel for you. It sounds like you've had such a tough time.

Peri=menopause has brought a load of early pregnancy symptoms for me - I have been sick lots of times (not just felt sick) .

The body plays lots of tricks on us sigh!

If you think testing will set your mind at rest - do that x

If it was me, I’d work on the basis that I wasn’t pregnant. If you’re peri, your hormones are going to be all over the shop and causing you all sorts of symptoms. And it’s unlikely that you’ve conceived because of an upset stomach at a time when he wasn’t even there, especially when there is fertility issues too.

But I would do the test, just to completely rule it out and set your mind straight again, just so there’s no niggling thoughts at the back of your mind. As others have said, you could have a bleed next week and it wouldn’t be a proper period, and you don’t want to be holding onto that thought and building up your hopes that you are, then have your hopes crashing down. That would be an awful thing to put yourself through.

There is no easy answer. I think in your case I'd stop taking birth control. Am I right in thinking you are about two weeks after you had sex, in which case you could absolutely test.

And I've been here thinking I was (and not wanting to be) I was so convinced that I tested over and over and then my period came and it was just an awful case of PMT. So I'm not sure our feelings are always as reliable as our mind wants it to be. I really hope you get the outcome you want

Oh I see. Well if OP is going to do it I would go straight to the expensive digital early detection ones.

Just trying to limit the number of tests OP is taking as she’s saying it’s traumatic.

It sounds like perimenopause, unfortunately. It can be very cruel with skipped periods and unusual symptoms (I've been trying to find a 'hug' emoji on Mumsnet).

I sympathise SOO MUCH. I've been pregnant once (naturally) in more than a decade of trying, despite having regular sex with DH, and I didn't even think to test until I was nearly 6 weeks because it was so unlikely.

Unfortunately, if you have fertility issues already, you're very unlikely to be pregnant, while on the pill, after a brief sexual encounter, aged 44. But our bodies are experts at breaking our dreams.

I'd assume you're not pregnant (because it's vanishingly unlikely), but take the test to put your mind at rest.

Op I hope you get the results you want just be aware that peri cause cause you to wee a lot as well as feeling sick sometimes however the best way to find out is to just bite the bullet and do it at least you will know for sure then. Good luck.

I conceived twice in my 40s, both times I was convinced that it was peri-menopause and seeing the positive test is still a very vivid memory. Sadly both pregnacies ended in miscarriage. I tested because I was convinced I wasn't pregnant but needed to know one way or the other as I had a lot of symptoms. I totally get where you are coming from and I feel so sorry about all you have been through. For me it was the limbo of not knowing that made me test.

No major advice and i truly hope you get the result you’re after, but I was always under the impression that your bleeds on the pill aren’t a proper period.

You don't have "periods" on the pill. It's a withdrawal bleed that is a side effect of not taking the pill so the "period" she had recently doesn't mean anything in terms of whether she's pregnant or not as it wasn't a real period.

I think I would test if I were you. Then you know and can deal with however you end up feeling at the result. I really hope you get the result you want. Big hand hold x

I am 46, also on contraception, but woke one night feeling nauseous, had another day feeling nauseous, also a few episodes of heart burn last a couple of days (which I've only ever had during pregnancy) & my boobs have swollen & very sore. I convinced myself I was pregnant, I dreaded the thought due to age & circumstances, had sleepless nights, then tried to ignore it but then took the plunge & tested - negative.
I now wonder if these "symptoms" are linked to peri-menopause 🤔 or if it was all a bit psychosomatic - though I still have sore boobs.

Start by buying the test, then wait till your in the best frame of mind possible and do the test - is there anyone you can tell so they're ready to support you if you need it?

Good luck

im keeping my figners crossed for you, i have a feeling this is not what you are hoping for BUT i personally would take the test! they are very accurate nowadays and if its a negative get yourself to the GP to discuss whats been going on?

if it helps, when my DD was pregnant she had spotting and bleeds all the way through!

keep us posted

If you had a period two weeks ago I’m not sure even if you were pregnant that it would come up so soon?

I also knew I was pregnant a couple of weeks back and it took 4 tests over two weeks before it showed.

I would wait maybe. Trust me if you’re getting sickness that early then actual morning sickness will hit you like a wall in a few weeks time and the test will show then.

But I would stop taking the pill.