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AIBU?

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AIBU to have nicknames for my neighbours?

147 replies

MedicalCannabis · 12/07/2024 00:45

I saw a very funny thread on Twitter about this. I can't remember any of my neighbours' actual names, except one whose is amusing...

Please join me in sharing your unique neighbour nicknames!

We have:
The underwear model
Guy who owns the place
The fat family 🙈
Build-a-cunt 😬

I think sharing more would be too risky!

YABU - You should learn their names and stop being rude about them.
YANBU - Keep nurturing your creativity and being a massive curtain twitcher.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/07/2024 06:36

Gobby and gobby 2
Mother and father (said in a Yorkshire accent) - married and this is how they refer to each other
Golf guy
Man bun
Her with a face like a bulldog licking a piss covered thistle
The pissheads
Big bum - she wears padded pants, sometimes it's normal, most of the time it's huuuuuuuge
Motorway man
The bellringers

Tomatojuiceandvodka · 12/07/2024 06:35

I used to live next door to nosey bill.

on our street now we have:
the party house (they had one party once and despite being far from perfect neighbours ourselves we appear to holding it against them)
the hmo (not a hmo, just a family living in an enormous house with their adult children)
fence guy (an angry man who shouts at children if footballs kick their fence)
sausage dog lady
the carer- she once introduced herself to me as a very caring person whilst indicating her carers uniform with an exaggerated flourish of the wrist

DoAClassicCamel · 12/07/2024 06:25

We did have Dogless Dave & Mrs Dave but they moved recently now we’re just left with the little t#@t next door.

garlictwist · 12/07/2024 06:21

We also have the Vonn Trapp Family Losers - not actually a family but a couple who have decorated their garden with "live, laugh, love", "learning to dance in the rain" signs and made a stupid weird mini bar.

HolyPeaches · 12/07/2024 06:21

OlympicDimples · 12/07/2024 02:39

“Elvis” sang in your street during lockdown??
Hsd you all asked him too, or did he think he was helping the NHS??
Id have laughed my head off if he just randomly decided that that was what you all needed!! 😆😆

No. Nobody asked for it🤣

First time was during the VE day Street party, he came out with his microphone and speakers and went from Hound Dog straight into Frank Sinatra My Way.

Never saw him on a Thursday evening for the NHS pots and pan bashing and clapping though.

HansHolbein · 12/07/2024 06:20

Papa Fritz
Finger Bob
Lady Muck

garlictwist · 12/07/2024 06:19

We have:

Mr Upstairs Man (who, not surpsingly, lives in the flat upstairs). He is very old and just sits and smokes at the window)

Twat Drummer Boy (student opposite who plays the drums very well, but very loudly, with the windows open)

Henry the Eighth: Big man with a beard who once inexplicably left a rotting chicken carcass on top of his garden wall for several weeks.

FredFredandFreddie · 12/07/2024 06:18

We have:

Pink Shorts
Dressing Gown man
Mr Eggs
the bird man
Harold (we don’t know his name but we’ve given him that one)

although it’s a bit sad that so many on this thread are so nasty

Ockwomble · 12/07/2024 06:16

We don't have nicknames per say, but having read this thread has reminded me to start.
However, we do have a neighbour that starts his car to tick over at a ridiculous set same time every weekend without fail. I say to DH 'it's time, he's firing up the Quattro!' DH says 'you do know it's not a quattro?'. I keep saying it as it is now part of my Saturday regime and makes me chuckle. If it doesn't fire up, I will be curtain twitching!

twentysevendresses · 12/07/2024 06:04

Mr Big The Drug Dealing Russian (shortened to Mr Big)

Battered Woman (boyfriend regularly beats her/she beats him right back/ arguments are VERY loud in a language I don't understand) - yes, police are called regularly and two days later she takes him back 🤷‍♀️

The Fat Family Robinson - no explanation needed.

Outnumbered - 6 children under 9, another on the way in a 2-bed terrace.

onanudistbeach · 12/07/2024 06:00

Knobhead Neil

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 12/07/2024 05:54

RV People
Fuckfaces
The Mouthbreather
Cunts
The Shrieking Harpy
The Guy with the Hair
Tesla People

User1706 · 12/07/2024 05:51

I have:

The lawyer
The alcoholic (he's actually married to the above)
Daddy's pocket
Nice man
Jail bird (nice woman, although I did read she went to jail for defrauding he MIL)
Happy twins
Secret Tranny (I know, I know...)
The dick and his cat
Trusted bin man
Fatty and her pup.

The only one I'm genuinely being mean about is the last one, as I do know both her and her husbands name. I call them that because they are horrendous people.

Theoldwoman · 12/07/2024 05:37

The bloody Irish house (we are in Australia)
Tubbies
The Mattress family
Wren
Scarys’s
The Princess
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater
Truck man

ClaribelLowLieth · 12/07/2024 05:35

Saab twat
Twatface and Twatface
Parking twat

Time to be a bit more creative/a bit less negative, I think!

rwalker · 12/07/2024 05:28

We have some hilarious but extremely inappropriate and un pc names for our neighbours
but it a in joke between us and never share

EffinMagicFairy · 12/07/2024 04:30

Mostly know all our lovely neighbours so use their names apart from NDNs who are called The Patio People, and one of them is called The Drone, they don’t seem to go anywhere and will sit outside from early until late and he, talks nonstop rubbish.

WalkingonWheels · 12/07/2024 04:26

We have:

The Twat in the Flat
The Foghorn
Smokey McSmokerson
Mower Man
Grumpy-Old-Sod-on-the-End
Chihuahua Lady
The One with all the Bin Bags
Mrs Yak. God forbid she sees you as she yaks for hours.

Bahhhhhumbug · 12/07/2024 03:49

The unexploded Scotsman shortened to 'the unexploded' (always ranting about litter bugs etc outside his house)
Clunk and family, (he's not the brightest).
Twat at no.11- a very troublesome tenant we had.
The Borrowers (a young couple who never speak except once to borrow something)

Neighbourhood · 12/07/2024 03:38

Yes.

The Singalongs
The Wholesomes
The Screamers
The Animals
Important Italian Man

greyrainbows · 12/07/2024 03:33

We have;

The satanists (cos they seem that way inclined)
The garage dweller (he's always in the garage and obsessed with it)
Chatty Cathy (because if she catches your eye you will be stuck there listening to her stories/moans/random tat for 90 mins minimum)
Invisible old lady (never ever see her)
Briefcase wanker (they're actually a married family but he's the main one we see regularly always with briefcase in tow)
Showhome Sue (because her house is always fully lit up with all windows wide open to show off the impeccable home decor)
Druggies on the corner (because of the suspicious tinted black car with the strange numberplate that comes and goes so often)
The just eat house (takeaways every night it seems, not jealous at all haha)
Mr I have a Porsche (because he got a fucking gazebo to house his Porsche under even though it doesn't fit)

Whyohwhydoesthishappen · 12/07/2024 03:18

Yes we do this too. We have

Giraffe
The Alpha Romeo couple
The cat man (owns 2 cats)
The Moody lot

CHEESEY13 · 12/07/2024 03:12

I do have nicknames for the neighbours, I think it's a common enough practice and harmless - but maybe don't use these to their faces and certainly DON'T do what President Biden has done: mistakenly introducing the Ukraine president as "......President Putin!". Twice.

Your social standing in the neighbourhood will nosedive.

Whiskeyandkittens · 12/07/2024 02:53

I'm hoping none of these are me 😅
Especially @Opinionwontchangeluv 's neighbours!

We just call the ones we know by their names and where they live - "Janice from number 12" or "Paul from over the road"
And the ones we don't know are just their door numbers - "Number 6 bloke" or for the one with a company van outside, "(Name of business) man"

StrawberryWater · 12/07/2024 02:47

Emperor Constantoni - his name is Tony and thinks he owns the street. Very bossy man, very rude and the type who walks around with a measuring tape to make sure weeds are below a certain height and cars are parked properly in their place. If even so much as one thing is out of place you'll know about it with a letter. We all laugh at him.

There's Audi Woman who uses the street to test her breaks (actually I'm starting to agree with the Emperor on this one). Her husband is Cokey McCokeface (I think you can guess why) and their son is Baby Bellend. He's 18 and thinks he's the shit.

We also have The Colonel - ex army type. Nice guy actually. He lives next to Sharky who owns a boat but never takes it anywhere.

Next to us is Biffa as he likes to hit his wife. We always ring the police. She always takes him back.

Madam Edam a few doors down as she'll only talk about cheese lol.

We also have an Angry Dude as he's always slamming doors - actually a nice guy but very noisy.

The Sex People - they're probably not but they always have new people staying over every week.

Boo Radley - weird fella who always has his curtains drawn and only comes out when he thinks nobody is around. If he sees anyone he rushes back indoors.