To feel embarrassed/mixed feelings about audience behaviour at comedy show?

I hate performance laughing but would have probably not said anything

Your family member was extremely rude and out of order on this occasion but I wish she'd been there the time I went to see Les Mis and the woman next to us was loudly singing along or the time we saw Dirty Dancing and someone shouted out "Come On Johnny" when the star was about to deliver his iconic line at the end

urgh ffs - how rude of your family member!

Sometimes I find it really irritating because I'm quite sensitive to noise, and sometimes these are the types of people who loudly talk through or laugh at things over the next punch line.

Sometimes it just adds to the performance because it makes it funnier that someone is finding everything so funny.

Maybe the trick is to not be sitting too close to them.

Think the most annoying thing I went to was when a couple, must have been in their 50s, were sitting next to me groping each other and kissing through the theatre performance I was trying to watch. Obviously the seats are tiny and close together too so it was even more uncomfortable. About 3/4 of the way through (so after the interval) they decided to leave, so of course they had to make a big fuss about getting out and we had to stand up so they could walk past us, which then blocked other people's view and it was annoying (and disrespectful to the performers) but at least I didn't have to see it all any more.

It’s weird, but I’ve been to a few comedy shows where the person laughing loudest was sitting right next to me, on my left. Sometimes, it’s a stranger. When we went to see Gary Delaney, it was my friend C, who LOVES puns. When we went to see a comic play, it was my friend J, who bless her, laughs like a seagull.

I wouldn’t dream of telling them to laugh more quietly. I find it hard to imagine a comedian doing that either. What comedian wants an audience trying to suppress their laughter in case they get singled out and ridiculed?

Hotel breakfast is a bit different from a comedy show though isn't it? I feel like one should expect to encounter people fucking laughing at a comedy show.

That sounds really annoying, I'd be pissed off with them too. Were they drunk?

I'm in two minds. I once saw a comedy show in a small theatre and there was two women laughing like this. It was insane. The performer himself got really annoyed and had a massive go at them which I kind of understood tbh. He threw something at them. They were being weird and disruptive. I can understand someone getting seriously annoyed in those circumstances.

They laughed so hard, they woke babies up.....

I don't know, hotel breakfast this morning, there was a mixed group on the next table and one there was literally bellowing laughter from the men every few seconds.

They were probably Mumsnetters, 'howling, roaring, crying' etc.

Did you notice any tea being spat at the back of your head? 😁

I do understand where you are coming from. I was at a concert recently and the person behind me joined in with every song, very loudly, very off key and got most of the words wrong.

I ended up putting my coat on so I could put my hood up to try to drown out the cacophony behind me and concentrate on what was going on in front of me.

But I didn't ask her to be quiet, so I think your family member was in the wrong.

I’ve been to a show recently where this happened to me. The women behind me were very OTT in their hysterical laughter, literally as though they were trying to get everyones attention, it was actually a bit weird. It was annoying, but, everyone is different so I just tried to block it out 🤷‍♀️ No way would I say anything.

Most comedians will pick up on someone in the crowd laughing like that and make them feel self conscious enough to tone it down. Who was the comedian?

No standing, no laughing.

What will they come for next?!

While I think it was ott and not great to tell them to shut up I’ve sat through comedy with people screeching laughing, even at things that weren’t that funny and it’s terrible. And there’s times you’ll find either they’re really drunk or trying to get noticed by either the comedian or to get attention

I went to a comedy show last month and there was this group of women, who laughed really really insanely loud all of the time. They might have had too much alcohol . Lots of people rolled their eyes at them and were irritated. I think it was disruptive.

But just tell them to “shut up” is rude. The women in my case weren’t seated near me, so i couldn’t say anything. But if they were next to me i’d say something like “I’m sorry, but is it possible for you to keep the volume down a bit because my ears are ringing?”

‘Performative laughter trying to prove they were having a good time’ 🙄 I’ve heard it all now! They were at a comedy show, so it’s safe to assume it was their natural laugh and they WERE having a good time, unlike you lot judging them. I know which person I would prefer to be in this scenario. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 - performative emojis just for you OP.

The thing is that people invest a lot in shows like this (It's comedy! I've paid! I expect to laugh!) and therefore the reaction can be a bit over the top, like cheering wildly at the end of a performance that's only average. So I DO think there can be an element of performance - to convince yourself and others that you're having the best time you possibly could.So YANBU there. Your relative must've been seriously pissed off to confront them like that. I would have found it disruptive. And yes, a bit of a gentler approach would've been less rude but would likely have zero effect as well.
Did it work? Sounds as if it was said in the heat of the moment and they ignored it at the time.

Sorry but your OP made me laugh so loudly that a random woman banged on my window and told me to shut up.

was it a male family member?

People like your family member would do better enjoying things on TV in the comfort and solitude of their own home. Go out in public and you'll encounter the public. The public do all sorts of things we might as individuals prefer they didn't. Provided these fall within the broad remit of context acceptable, you have to put up with it. I'm not a fan of those who refer to women being noisy as 'screeching'. We can't help having higher pitched voices than men and its not fair to expect us to be particularly quiet and restrained because we don't 'bellow' or 'guffaw' which seems to be more socially tolerated.

• I do have not you!

Urgh. I think your family member was incredibly rude. You do have a naturally loud and awful cackle though so perhaps I am sensitive . I have been accused of performative laughter in the past and it hurt. It made me feel small, embarrassed and I have ever since been very conscious never to laugh in public. I hope the ladies your family member tried to shame have thicker skin than me, because it's been over a decade and I have never been able to shake the feeling of shame should I laugh accidentally in public.

Can't laugh at comedy shows, can't dance at concerts.

Jeez