Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going on an evening date always=sex

37 replies

Sundaycoffee · 11/07/2024 23:00

Having a conversation with friends and told them I'm going on a first date for drinks. I was really excited. My first date in years! Told them he asked me for a drink.
They said they wouldn't want to do evening drinks for a first date as they would worry the man was only after one thing and wouldn't want to give that impression out to the man either by accepting a drinks date. They would only go for a coffee and a walk for the first date, so they know his intentions aren't sex.
AIBU to think they ABU and can't they just be positive and say "have a great time!"?
Since when is going for a drink with a man giving the impression you want to sleep with them?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sundaycoffee · 11/07/2024 23:19

onemorerose · 11/07/2024 23:15

What do you think? Do you want to go? Is she saying you will get drunk and have sex that you don’t want to have?

I think she's more concerned about the guys intentions, rather than what I will do or not do. I guess a bit like a test, if he's happy to go for a quick coffee for me I the day time I know he's not just after one thing. Whereas she believes a man asking you for drinks is more likely to be after sex.

OP posts:
onemorerose · 11/07/2024 23:15

What do you think? Do you want to go? Is she saying you will get drunk and have sex that you don’t want to have?

Original poster
Sundaycoffee · 11/07/2024 23:12

Yeah she basically said I would assume any man asking me for drinks for the first date is hoping I'll have too many and end up going back to his and she would only do a day date for the first date "but that's just me"

OP posts:
SwanRivers · 11/07/2024 23:11

They would only go for a coffee and a walk for the first date, so they know his intentions aren't sex.

Such a weird way of thinking.

Have they never had sex during the day or without alcohol?

TinDogTavern · 11/07/2024 23:09

Your friend is being ridiculous. Of course it's not a given. I have a looooong and chequered dating history and I've never heard anyone say "ooh no, you can't go for a drink in the evening with a MAN! There'll be SEX!"

Enjoy your date OP.

JustCantBeBothered · 11/07/2024 23:08

Never heard of this! Go, and stand your ground with what you want!

TwinCheeks · 11/07/2024 23:06

Your friends are talking nonsense. There's nothing wrong with an evening date, it doesnt mean sex at all! Its a better option and sets the scene for a romantic date much more than a hurried coffee at 3 in the afternoon. And by romantic I dont mean sex i mean the pretence of a date as opposed to a platonic coffee in daylight.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 11/07/2024 23:06

Just go and enjoy yourself.
If you want to have sex and the opportunity presents itself, so what.

TeaChocKitKat · 11/07/2024 23:06

I've done some online dating over the past few months all of my first dates were evening drinks. None of them ended up with sex! In fact they mostly ended very quickly!

WeightofExpectation · 11/07/2024 23:04

Your friend is being ridiculous. People don’t just have sex in the evening. All our early dates were in the evening, and we didn’t have sex until the fourth date.

GeneralReflection · 11/07/2024 23:03

Surely you just say no to going back to theirs etc if asked. Then block and don’t see again? Not a bad way to filter if you ask me

Original poster
Sundaycoffee · 11/07/2024 23:03

Title should be "doesn't" always= sex

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread