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AIBU?

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He accused me and DD of bullying him

26 replies

CCandmum · 11/07/2024 21:05

OH has a hard time waking up by himself. Always has. He snores terribly and I do wonder if it's all to do with him having a poor quality of sleep, perhaps sleep apnoea? Anyway..

He asks me to wake him for work if I haven't left by the time his alarm goes off. I don't mind, providing he then forces himself out of the bed and doesn't have me standing there repeating myself which unfortunately does happen. He isn't a lazy person in general and does work very hard. He just cannot seem to wake up.

So this morning before I leave to do the school run I go in and give him a shake as he's slept through the alarm. DD (almost 7) is with me.

She remarks "daddy takes a long time to get out of bed" to which I replied "yes he does love"

Well with that he gets annoyed and says "alright for god sake ill just stay up then, I won't get any sleep"

I thought to myself surely you're not being shitty with me about that.

But, then he went on to accuse me and DD of bullying him, purely based on the brief aforementioned exchange above. She is just a child making an observation.

I thought he was being lighthearted but no, he says he really did feel attacked. He said there's lots of behaviours of hers that he could point out but doesn't. At this point we turned and left the house and I sent him a message to say don't bother coming back here after work.

I've been silently furious all day and i'm reminded of the many times in the past where any sort of criticism perceived or real results in him painting himself as the victim of bullying, and brings up how he was bullied in school. At this stage I'm over it and couldn't give a shit. He's 40.

His reaction is so far away from being normal isn't it? But have I overreacted?

I've NC.

OP posts:
InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 11/07/2024 21:17

He has massively overreacted. He has clearly been traumatised by the bullying at school and is getting triggered by you / daughter. It’s his responsibility to recognise that and seek therapy so he isn’t taking his trauma reaction out on you and your daughter. It’s understandable you lost patience with him but if you regain your patience the kind thing would be to gently push him in the right direction. If he refuses to seek help you will need to judge what is best for you and your daughter.