Porn

depends on your boundaries.

I get the impression a lot more 'younger' women watch porn... which causes its own problems of course, cos not all men are built like Jason Luv. 😞

Some men do and some men don’t. Brace yourself though…some women watch porn! Shocking I know, I can let you know my favourites if you like?

Interesting. Did he have ethical
Concerns, and if so did you not have some sympathy for those? Or did you feel it was mind control for the sake of mind control. Interesting to hear it the other way around (assuming you are female)?.

Yes this. Few and far between but they exist.

Most just lie. And most lie well.

I do believe there are men like this out there too but few and far between.

I've dated one man who didn't watch it.

He was the exception to the rule however.

He was generally the most IT illiterate person I've known and lived like he was in the ... 80s maybe.
Extremely basic mobile phone, didn't use tablets, pcs, laptops, nada.

He said he saw it, it didn't do much for him, and he just used the latest encounter or his favourite encounter with partner (or ex) for masturbation.

He had zero reason to lie because I'm the last person to judge anyone for watching legal porn and watched it myself.

I don't think I've met another man like him though.

I would agree the vast majority of men watch porn.

You always have the “my partner definitely doesn’t, I know that for a fact” delusional Angies on threads like this though. Without fail.

Neither of you are wrong tbh..
You are allowed not to like him watching porn..
But he's also allowed to think it's none of your business..
Now the choice is whether or not you wish to continue the relationship?
I don't think you are going to stop him.. he may not feel you have the right to stop him and honestly you don't really. But you do have the right to end the relationship if its a deal breaker for you.
Obviously if it's effecting your sex life together then it's legitimate to try and have a discussion about how his use of porn is having negative effects..
But if it's not.. I personally think its a bit invasive.
I had an ex who tried to tell me that he didn't ever want me to look at porn. I just broke up with him. I don't really look at porn that often, hardly ever really.. but when he said that to me I just thought it was invasive and controlling and no longer wanted to be with him.

I most definitely would.

So if your DH shagged another woman when you're not around it's fine because "it's up to him"?

@RobynRB 😭

Yeah, he probably can't even get hard without seeing an anal prolapse by now...

What Kreed said.

In my experience most watch it. Not all do.

Many, if not most, that do probably lie about it. Ive been anti porn all my life and had several relationships. One I know really really didn't watch it. Most of the others said they didn't, either because they didn't when in a relationship, or they'd thought about it more deeply (yes I did make my objections and boundaries clear)... of those, one was totally lying all the time, most of the others I also suspect lied in retrospect. I probably made it hard to be open. But it's a hard boundary and I don't apologise for that. My DP now is similar. Says he doesn't now in a serious relationship and also as he is aware of a bit of a backlash generally and has sympathy for the fact it is likely damaging in numerous ways (I know many don't agree, but that's how I feel).

Do I believe him 100%. No. 99% as I trust him generally and have no evidence he uses porn now...but I think as women we'd be pretty daft to totally believe any man as I think it's something the majority just lie about for most of their life.

That's unless they meet a sex positive 😂 (whatever) dream girl who also loves porn.

All rather depressing.

I would rather DH masturbate to unattainable porn stars than women he knows at work etc.

Porn is a very general word. You really need to ascertain what sort of porn he is wathing. There is every category imaginable and many you cant. Goodness knows what category he's onto by now. I believe it's a slippery slope deeper and deeper into depravity.

Does he make you feel valued, loved and respected, make you feel attractive and give you compliments etc or not? Does he pay you enough attention sexually and initiate sex as well as watching porn?

It all depends how he makes you feel. But yeah it's crap if they watch it if they aren't paying you any attention.

I'm not sure why he's telling you he's doing it when you're not around if he knows you don't like it?

Well if my partner watched porn I would view them differently and I wouldn't want to have sex with them. So what would be the point in staying in the relationship?

Urgh I hate porn but I wouldn't leave someone because they watch it

Nope! They tell their wives don't though, some believe them!

I’m sure not all men watch porn, but I think the point is that a lot of the men who do watch it tell their partners that they don’t. Lots of women will confidently say their partner never watches it, but the reality is that they don’t truly know for certain. Some will be right and some - I suspect quite a lot - will be wrong.

If you're not around and he's doing it in private, how do you know?

Does he tell you, or do you dig through his history?

You’re allowed to be ‘annoyed’ by it, if that’s how you feel.

Equally, though, he is allowed to consider it absolutely none of your business.

I think you really just have to decide whether it’s a dealbreaker or not. I don’t care in the slightest if my partner watches porn in private, and I would also tell him to sod off if he tried to tell me I couldn’t watch it myself. But for some people it’s something they feel they just can’t tolerate and would end a relationship over and of course, they’re completely entitled to draw that personal line in the sand.

What is your point?
A lot of men are liars. A lot of women are liars.
That does not mean all men watch porn.