To have taken my sisters cat to the vet and hope she will pay

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 2024-07-11T15:58:40+00:00

My sister has a 19 year old cat. Cat has lived at our mums house for a couple of years because my sister has a younger cat and a child and felt the older cat would be happier at my mums house. Cat has come to stay at my house as my mum has gone on holiday. Cat is clearly not well - skin and bones, ravenous and thirsty but not putting on weight. I weighed her and she is just over 2kgs. Breathing heavily at times and unsteady on her feet. I messaged my mum to say I think cat needs to go to vet, I’ve had no response for 3 days. she’s in the U.K., not abroad. Phoned my sister who agreed I could take her to the vet. Vet wanted to do blood panel due to suspected hyperthyroidism so I got the ok from sister by text (she is owner so needs to agree). Sisters response to the possible diagnosis was - ‘that sounds expensive’. Results came back and cat has severe hyperthyroidism. Too weak for surgery so treatment is special diet and pills. I explained this to sister by text and response is “ok”. I am on the way to pick up pills now. Sister hasn’t asked me how much any of this costs (£300 so far) so is possibly expecting me to pay for it? Not sure how to approach this? My mothers response when I’ve previously suggested cat is ill and should go to the vets is “she’s just old”. sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”. its like they both just think oh she’s old, just let her die. But she is really suffering with the hyperthyroidism as she eats and eats but doesn’t get nutrition. With treatment she could have quality of life so to me it’s a no brainer to give her that. I have two cats and I love them ti pieces, can’t imagine letting them come to this. I also have pet insurance for them, she doesn’t. I’m picking up the cost possibly. Should I have stayed out of this? It felt negligent to *not* take her to the vets whilst under my care and clearly ill. feel really put off my mum and sister as they seem so heartless. Or am I being a martyr? not sure how to convince my mum to buy / give cat the special food and pills once the lot I’ve got runs out. vet needs to do more bloods in 2 weeks to check treatment is working so it may be easier to keep cat with me till then. Treatment will be for life. I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her. AIBU = I should have stayed out of this. Now I’ve got involved I need to suck it up in terms of vet bills and ongoing care. IANBU = I was right to take cat to vets and sister is the owner and responsible for care, including paying me back.

user1471538283 · 16/07/2024 21:37

I'm so sorry to hear your update. I know it's so hard but this is the best thing for the DCat.

It took me a long time to reconcile letting our DBoycat go but sometimes you just can't fix things no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. X

noctilucentcloud · 16/07/2024 20:43

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 16/07/2024 16:49

Hello. I wanted to give an update. When I spoke to my mum she gave it some thought and the next day she asked me to look after the cat as I would provide better care at this stage and can keep taking her to my local vet for continuity of care. We agreed that we would give treatment a go as per the vets advice, to give her a chance. If she improved and treatment was stable etc then I would return cat to my mums house at that point. She is grateful to me for taking this on and will take on the financial burden for me.

That was the plan as of Saturday (3 days ago) however sadly the cat has taken a turn for the worse and earlier today had a seizure which was horrible. We took her to the vet a little later. The person I had spoken to when I called advised me to bring her in for a blood test as there may be an issue with the medication.

I believe the vet we saw today is more experienced than the last one I saw. She immediately advised PTS. She advised against any further investigations. The whole discussion was about PTS this time.

It’s very upsetting and difficult but I agree with this second vet. I will give my mum and sisters a chance to see her and say goodbye if they wish and then will get her booked in.

Cat is sleeping peacefully right now.

I'm really sorry to hear this. Thank you for looking out for her and making her end of life better than it might've been.

OnTheBoardwalk · 16/07/2024 20:30

Can people at least read the OP updates if you can’t be bothered reading the whole thread before commenting

thank you for looking out for the cat. If you'd not taken it into the vet it might have had a long time of suffering. They might not have taken it to the vet even after the seizure.

You did a good thing

ThisNoisyTealLurker · 16/07/2024 20:21

At 19 I think the cats’ quality of life is likely diminishing rapidly and from the sounds of it, needs to be put down. This may sound harsh but keeping an unwell car alive is cruel and unnecessary.

Roryhon · 16/07/2024 20:19

Poor you OP, you tried really hard for the cat and were the most kind person she met in her old age. Your sister sounds a self centred fluff brain who really shouldn’t keep getting these animals if she’s not going to look after them.

Well done for caring and trying for the cat. It’s just a shame you didn’t get the senior vet the first time.

Umidontknow · 16/07/2024 20:18

Ohps I've just seen your last update and I'm pleased the 2nd vet helped give you some clarity and hopefully has taken any guilt away from having to make such a difficult decision. It was very unfair of the first vet to lead you to believe there would a positive outcome to be honest.

Umidontknow · 16/07/2024 20:08

You are not been unreasonable at all and you are the only one that seems to care about the poor cat. But at this stage I think the kindest thing is to put the cat to sleep rather than prolong the inevitable especially as it is unlikely either your mum or sister will care enough to offer consistent treatment, but even if they where I would seriously question if it is actually in the cats best interests anyway. Just because we can doesn't always mean we should. I know you've said the vet hasn't suggested pts but unfortunately some don't all the while there is some money to be made (odviously not all but some). Give the cat a nice couple of days then give her a dignified end even if it is you that ends up paying the bill - which sounds likely.

Isthisasgoodasitis · 16/07/2024 18:25

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 16/07/2024 16:49

Hello. I wanted to give an update. When I spoke to my mum she gave it some thought and the next day she asked me to look after the cat as I would provide better care at this stage and can keep taking her to my local vet for continuity of care. We agreed that we would give treatment a go as per the vets advice, to give her a chance. If she improved and treatment was stable etc then I would return cat to my mums house at that point. She is grateful to me for taking this on and will take on the financial burden for me.

That was the plan as of Saturday (3 days ago) however sadly the cat has taken a turn for the worse and earlier today had a seizure which was horrible. We took her to the vet a little later. The person I had spoken to when I called advised me to bring her in for a blood test as there may be an issue with the medication.

I believe the vet we saw today is more experienced than the last one I saw. She immediately advised PTS. She advised against any further investigations. The whole discussion was about PTS this time.

It’s very upsetting and difficult but I agree with this second vet. I will give my mum and sisters a chance to see her and say goodbye if they wish and then will get her booked in.

Cat is sleeping peacefully right now.

You can only do what you can with what you have, the medication you started will have started the body normal function but having been in crisis for so long will have frantically started addressing the toxin dumps created by lack of thyroid function this is likely to cause seizures and unexplainable behaviour if the cat is strong enough to ride it out things will settle again in a few days however if the cat is showing signs of pain then it would be kinder to euthanise her blood panel will tell you if she’s in pain it will however be very difficult to secure a vein and I am aware of vets euthanising rather than struggle to get a catheter in one of the reasons I left practice

Isthisasgoodasitis · 16/07/2024 18:16

Dingdong90 · 16/07/2024 13:21

Vets will honestly rip the arse when it comes to stuff like this, she would honestly be better of pts. But if they can make some money before that they will, our elderly dog was 15 and could barely walk,kept taking weird fits and the vets were like oh give her this medication...at 180 quid a month ,it will help. All we did was prolong her suffering and ours by doing that for 6 months in the hope she'd get better before finally deciding to have her pts. It's definitely quality not quantity when it comes to animals

That’s absolutely not true if a pet is in pain and the outcome is limited we will raise humane euthanasia prolonging life in pain we just don’t do willingly

Ansjovis · 16/07/2024 18:13

You've done all the right things here and I'm glad you got to speak to this second vet. Those who are saying that vets will never advise PTS are misinformed as I've been in this position three times and each time they have done so. A good vet will have ways of making the message 100% clear without being direct but being sensitive to the high emotions in the room.

I hope that your sister is thankful for you having taken such good care of her cat and that she rethinks letting any future animals lapse in their vet visits.

Pudmyboy · 16/07/2024 18:01

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 16/07/2024 16:49

Hello. I wanted to give an update. When I spoke to my mum she gave it some thought and the next day she asked me to look after the cat as I would provide better care at this stage and can keep taking her to my local vet for continuity of care. We agreed that we would give treatment a go as per the vets advice, to give her a chance. If she improved and treatment was stable etc then I would return cat to my mums house at that point. She is grateful to me for taking this on and will take on the financial burden for me.

That was the plan as of Saturday (3 days ago) however sadly the cat has taken a turn for the worse and earlier today had a seizure which was horrible. We took her to the vet a little later. The person I had spoken to when I called advised me to bring her in for a blood test as there may be an issue with the medication.

I believe the vet we saw today is more experienced than the last one I saw. She immediately advised PTS. She advised against any further investigations. The whole discussion was about PTS this time.

It’s very upsetting and difficult but I agree with this second vet. I will give my mum and sisters a chance to see her and say goodbye if they wish and then will get her booked in.

Cat is sleeping peacefully right now.

Thank you for this, so sorry that the treatment didn't work/ potentially caused reaction but at least you gave it a try: it may have worked, so worth a go, but sadly it hasn't.
I am glad you spoke to a more experienced vet (or, maybe if you had the previous vet, they may have come to the same conclusion given what happened).
Sounds like there is now a plan in place for your family to say goodbye and for the cat to have a kind end to their days. You have done well by this cat @InWithPeaceOutWithStress and it is a blessing for the cat that it came to you, in my opinion 💐

Boomer55 · 16/07/2024 17:53

Malahide · 11/07/2024 17:01

Sounds like the cat needs put down, not special food and recurrent blood tests. Poor thing. The vet is taking advantage of you and prolonging the inevitable.

This. The elderly cat has reached the end of her life. Sorry.

MrsB74 · 16/07/2024 17:49

Malahide · 11/07/2024 17:21

Because to the vet you are a cash cow, OP. Find a better, more humane vet and let the poor cat go. All you are doing is prolonging suffering and putting it through stressful procedures with no long term benefit.

Edited

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Completely agree with this. I would not put a 19 year old cat through this.

MrsGalloway · 16/07/2024 17:41

That’s a shame OP but I think it’s time for her to go. My cat is 14 and has hyperthyroidism. It’s not proving easy to treat, the medication made her very sick, the vet said there was a chance surgery would not work and radiotherapy was an option but costs would be in the thousands and she’d have to go away for a while.

We’ve tried to manage with diet but just taken her back to the vets as she’s still losing weight and seems to find it difficult to jump or move easily.

We are considering the surgery but I really don’t her to suffer. I know cats are good at concealing pain.

fetchacloth · 16/07/2024 17:15

You are doing the right thing OP. I know it's sad but necessary. 😢

Beth216 · 16/07/2024 17:07

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 16/07/2024 16:51

She was registered as a kitten / younger cat but then that vet since closed down.

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Awful that your mum didn't register her with a vet when she took her on and get her diagnosed way before this point. Letting her get to that state and doing nothing about it was extremely cruel. Your sister dumping the cat on her is just as bad, pets aren't toys that you get rid of when you get a newer better one. None of them deserve to have pets.

I'm glad you're doing the right thing by putting the poor thing to sleep. Please don't let her suffer on just so people that didn't bother looking after her can say goodbye.

Toastyfeetbythefire · 16/07/2024 17:07

Bless you for caring for this poor cat OP.

user1471556818 · 16/07/2024 17:00

Thank you OP for doing this and caring .Glad you saw the right person when the situation had changed and hope she is peaceful until she has passed.
All we can ask really

PeepDeBeaul · 16/07/2024 16:52

For the best perhaps...but still a sad outcome.

Original poster

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 16/07/2024 16:51

DangerousAlchemy · 16/07/2024 14:39

Sounds like your sis shouldn't own any pets really if she's just going to give them away when she's bored of them!! I also don't understand how this cat got to be 19 but wasn't registered with any vet??

Show quote history

She was registered as a kitten / younger cat but then that vet since closed down.

OP posts:

Original poster

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 16/07/2024 16:49

Hello. I wanted to give an update. When I spoke to my mum she gave it some thought and the next day she asked me to look after the cat as I would provide better care at this stage and can keep taking her to my local vet for continuity of care. We agreed that we would give treatment a go as per the vets advice, to give her a chance. If she improved and treatment was stable etc then I would return cat to my mums house at that point. She is grateful to me for taking this on and will take on the financial burden for me.

That was the plan as of Saturday (3 days ago) however sadly the cat has taken a turn for the worse and earlier today had a seizure which was horrible. We took her to the vet a little later. The person I had spoken to when I called advised me to bring her in for a blood test as there may be an issue with the medication.

I believe the vet we saw today is more experienced than the last one I saw. She immediately advised PTS. She advised against any further investigations. The whole discussion was about PTS this time.

It’s very upsetting and difficult but I agree with this second vet. I will give my mum and sisters a chance to see her and say goodbye if they wish and then will get her booked in.

Cat is sleeping peacefully right now.

OP posts:

Navyontop · 16/07/2024 16:39

If this was my cat she’d have the best treatment available and I certainly wouldn’t be Ending her life if I didn’t need to. I am however, very emotionally attached to my cat.
i don’t think your sister or mother really care about the cat, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this situation.
you either take the cat on, continue to pay for it’s treatment or walk away and see how your Mum takes it forward.
let the £300 go, it’s not worth the battle as they don’t really care about this cats life x

Eadfrith · 16/07/2024 14:48

Oh gosh, a 19 year old cat with severe hyperthyroidism? The poor thing will be suffering. If it were me I would opt to euthanise. Cat has lived a good long life! You would need to pay for that too though…

BetterWithPockets · 16/07/2024 14:45

musicforthesoul · 11/07/2024 18:39

I disagree with most on here, cat is a good age but I don't think it's necessarily cruel to try and treat them just because they're old. Cats can live into their 20s so it's not ancient. I wouldn't be waiting very long though to make the decision on if meds were helping.

If you're willing to take on all responsibility for the cat, I'd try the initial treatment then if no improvement after the next set of blood tests or if the cat gets stressed taking the pills PTS.

If cat is going back to your mum/sister then it's going to be better off PTS now, they let it get into this state with no treatment, they aren't going to keep up with any meds so better off letting the cat go quietly rather than carry on suffering.

This. And I’m glad you’re looking out for her, OP — you sound lovely.

DangerousAlchemy · 16/07/2024 14:39

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 12/07/2024 07:07

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the support. It’s really distressing and I’m angry they’ve left this to me and are just ignoring the whole thing.

The thread has made me realise I need to have a really serious conversation with them about the two options - care for her or PTS. Continuing to ignore the situation is neglectful and cruel and I am determined not to let them do that.

If my mum refuses to care for her properly then my sister needs to either take her back or take her to the vets to PTS. Or I can do this but it’s her decision and she should pay me back for it.

My sister is planning to get a puppy next so I can see what happens next - she’ll give the second cat to my mum and this will all be repeated in a few years time.

Sounds like your sis shouldn't own any pets really if she's just going to give them away when she's bored of them!! I also don't understand how this cat got to be 19 but wasn't registered with any vet??