MN phrases that you would ban

@parkrun500club

Hmmm. I think you haven't experienced the bitchy school mum clique, or you are safely ensconced in it.

I haven’t no. Maybe I have been lucky but I honestly think these so called “cliques” are figments of people’s imagination in 99% of cases.

This has been discussed on many threads but this comes from people over-investing in school friendships and then getting the hump when people don’t put out as much as they do. Or assuming that school friendships are a social life on a plate. School mum friendships are by their nature friendships of convenience. They are not supposed to be proper friendships.

If people cared less about them it would all be far easier

I’m not disputing that there can be some nasty individual parents but the idea of a clique seems very paranoid.

I have never seen "potty shot" on here until this very day! I read this post, went back to active and then scrolled down to see it. What are the chances!

To me potty shot is a picture of a dodgy poo or something.

Which bit? Objecting to sharing children's genitalia online and giving it a "cutesy" name (potty shot) or the concept of this now becoming mainstream and acceptable?

“I’m shaking as I type this”
No you aren’t.

I'm very busy. Think teacher and you're there.

So you're a teacher then. Why not just say I'm a teacher?

Hmmm. I think you haven't experienced the bitchy school mum clique, or you are safely ensconced in it.

A live example just spotted: “Did you mean to make yourself look morally bankrupt?”

DickJagger · Today 09:55

I also hate when people say "must be the school holidays" in a post they don't find believable

I've never understood people who say this. Do they really believe that school kids post fake scenarios on Mumsnet for kicks.

Yeah the 'is it the school holidays?' trope is so tedious. And they act like they're the first person to say it, and think they're soooooooo original. 🙄

As you said, no WAY is it a SCHOOL child, posting on Mumsnet. They wouldn't be arsed with coming on here. It's 100% a bored and goady adult male or female. Of COURSE it's not a school kid. Stupid f*cking thing to say!

Or shaking with tears flowing

Perhaps they think it's the teachers 🤣

@brunettemic

Name changed because it’s outing”…but then shares clear and specific details. People know who you are from the post not your screen name, I don’t get it. Sure, you can then go back to your usual name but the fact it’s your is already clearly there

That means that the poster is happy if they are recognised as being a MNer sharing one event . What they don't want is for people to know about other stuff they post. This maybe because they compartmentalise their lives, i.e. happy for their friends to know they are on MN telling a funny story about their holiday that they've already shared, but wouldn't want those same friends to know details about their health or relationship difficulties they may have posted about under their usual user name. Alternatively they may use anonymity to be a right bitch to people !

Mnetters are always too stunned or shocked to say anything!

"if that makes sense"

I mean I’ve read a lot of threads where it sounds (from the OPs description) that the partners behaviour is abusive and you think bringing that to their attention is rude?

Yes, there are some threads where the issue is not that dire and the default LTB seems to be an over reaction but they are the minority I would say.

@Thedayb4youcame

Not quite - often it's very clear from what is said that what went on was unlikely to be as described. Sometimes the answers are there and only the OP can't see it.

Maybe. But I am sure most posters understate the extent of their partners’ dickish behaviour rather than exaggerate it because they realise that in the cold light of day anyone can see he’s a deadbeat.

Its very rare that a poster complains about her husband to be told that she is being unfair and he isn’t as bad as all that.

I'm sure I have seen somewhere that Naff off was invented by the Press after Princess Anne told them to F* off when they were getting in the way during a cross-country. They didn't want to report what she'd actually said so they said she's told them to Naff off!

@Thepeopleversuswork All versions of a story are one sided by their nature. It’s not the job of a poster to make a judgement on who is telling the truth. All you can do is respond to the facts as they are presented to you.

Not quite - often it's very clear from what is said that what went on was unlikely to be as described. Sometimes the answers are there and only the OP can't see it.

Hope this helps or its abbreviation HTH. It's so unoriginal and passive aggressive.

'Why did you have children with this man?' As if that's in any way constructive, plus it essentially tells someone their DC shouldn't exist.

'Clever' YABU responses such as 'YABU for not asserting yourself/liking toilet brushes/being a SAHM/being a doormat/not having LTB' etc etc where this wasn't what the OP was asking. I think it probably skews poll results quite often, plus it's often derailing.

'We've lost sight of what a healthy weight is.'

'You knew he had kids when you married him.'

'Netmums is that way hun' if anyone dares to ask for a little kindness.

Any reply that uses the 'crying with laughter' emoji if it's being used to mock. These seem to be on the rise lately.

Oh yes, ‘discuss’. It’s so rude and superior.

See, I think this one is ok because it is almost always someone trying as best they can to be kind to someone who has suffered a loss. See also “didn’t want to read and run”, I think it’s usually people who can’t give any advice but want to send love to the OP. In particular it’s often when the OP hasn’t had many replies.

There’s a lot of unpleasantness on MN, so I have no problem with the particular phrases someone uses when trying to be nice!

@JudgeJ

A general question. Does everyone believe the one-sided version of events that are written on MN?

All versions of a story are one sided by their nature. It’s not the job of a poster to make a judgement on who is telling the truth. All you can do is respond to the facts as they are presented to you.

If the DH/DP gave their side of the story you would weigh up the stories but they don’t. You have to go on what you are told.

I happen to think most of the time posters underplay what bellends their partners are anyway. Astonishingly poor standards of behaviour are tolerated. It’s usually all “but he’s a great dad,” following a long laundry list of abusive or neglectful behaviour. No he’s not a great dad, he’s a deadbeat and you are kidding yourself.

Thats why LTB is sometimes so powerful. You can strip back the self denial about him being a great dad and focus on getting the OP to look the situation in the face.

Let’s face it. Most of the time the LTB comments are not helpful to an OP. The majority of posters create threads to ask for some guidance on a problem, and throwaway comments like LTB are extremely rude because they aren’t helpful at all.

I generally subtract 90% for exaggeration.