Nightmare customers and general bat shittery - what are your stories?

Lol, similar tales at the RSPB. Worked at a nature reserve, not their helpline.

• A woman thought the woodland looked messy and there should be no sticks or fallen trees on the ground.
• The amount of people that brought in injured and dying birds... I know the abbreviations look similar, but the RSPB is not RSPCA, there are no vets or animal welfare facilities! Fortunately one of the rangers kindly volunteered to dispatch said birds, not that we could tell the member of the public...

@sashh Loved this:

"I often start a lessen by telling students the subject and asking what they already know. An adult, a fully grown adult complained to my manager that I was making then do my job because I asked questions."

It reminded me of something DD said when she was in recepton.

She came home one day and said "mum I think Mrs X has got a problem with her reading" When I asked why she said "well she keeps pointing at words and asking us what they say"

@NigelHarmansNewWife In one way that's quite sweet albeit a bit annoying for the staff who'd quite like to go home. Did he get a card? He must have been pretty desperate

Name changed because I've moaned about some of these to loads of people!

I used to work for the Woodland Trust, first role there was mainly dealing with enquiries/complaints about woods they own. Loads of absolute fruitcakes used to phone in ranting about ridiculous things (often swearing and shouting). Some 'favourites':

•the woman who phoned ranting about the crows in the woods cawing and making it seem "eerie like a horror film"
•the angry man who called to complain about fruit dropping from the trees in autumn and making the ground dangerous and slippery (this wood was 100 miles away, was I going to go and sweep it all up?!)
•the woman who complained that there were too many insects in the wood, namely midges/gnats biting her. Could she not wear insect repellent? No she was allergic. Could she just not go? No apparently we should set off massive insect-killing bombs or something in the woods..
•the woman who couldn't understand why I wasn't going to come and collect a dead pigeon she'd seen
•the verrry angry man effing and blinding at me because his neighbour had had his own tree trimmed and some of the twigs had fallen into angry man's garden. I was fucking useless for not sorting it out apparently 😆

When it comes to the public nothing surprises me since that job (although I now have an immense dislike of jobs that involve answering the phone!)

I was in the supermarket last week buying a few bits, one guy in front of me in the queue and I'm hoping for a quick getaway....except the card reader rejects his card for contactless payment.The cashier says oh,he'll need to enter his PIN and he completely loses it! He's never been asked to do that,he isn't going to,he doesn't trust the machine, it's all a scam to steal his bank details....on and on while the cashier stays pleasant and calm, explains this happens, and it's completely normal.
In the end he payed with cash. I have no idea how this had never happened to him before, but it is definitely going to happen again!

Worked for a major fit retailer years ago.

Customer came to the till holding about ten long pieces of wood (maybe 6-7') and threw them at me like javelins because my queue didn't move up quickly enough.

Many many shits in display toilets - hopefully little children but still.

Many years ago, I had a Saturday job in a well known high street stationers. It was Christmas Eve afternoon and we had sold out of pretty much everything and were closing. A bloke Indiana Jones rolled under the descending roller shutter door, with many bags of Christmas shopping in his hands and screamed, "I need a Merry Christmas to my wife card"!

The obvious answer to that one is "that's right, I own my house".

Not quite the same, but a few weeks ago I was on a train and a woman was calling an estate agent (on speakerphone naturally). She didn't expect the estate agent to shut up shop to take her somewhere, but she did expect the person she was speaking to on the phone to get the estate agent she wanted to speak to to leave the customer she was with and get her on the phone, because she was clearly much more important!

I used to work at my university campus bookshop at weekends while i was a student. A business executive who was also an MBA student wanted a refund on her book. It was the wrong book for the course so I said we could swap it for the correct one if she brought in the receipt.

The MBA student came in the following weekend with the book and receipt. The receipt was from a different bookshop altogether. Not even from a different branch of this well known book chain. I tried to explain this to the customer but she wasn't having it. She demanded to see the manager, the poor fellow tried to explain it again but she still was insistent on a refund.

In the end, my manager rang the manager of the other bookshop who then spoke to batshit lady & told her to get the refund from his bookshop. 😮

Anyway she flounced out of our bookshop never to be seen again! Some people would be dangerous if they were actually intelligent.

Not a staff member but I witnessed this at the tip. A man had been told he couldn’t drop something off and was raging at the staff. He stomped off back to his car with a staff member in tow, who was apologising and trying to explain how the item could be disposed of.

Anyway, the guy got in his car and drove into another member of staff whilst screaming at him to get out of the way! It was all caught on CCTV and apparently the Police were alerted.

Oh look, the 'You're in the wrong job' - has anyone come along and said "But the service is shiiit" yet! 🤣

On a different note, I work behind a desk and people stand while I'm obviously sitting, the amount of people men who lean right over the desk and are practically nose to nose with me. It's quite funny when I'm not bothered and lower the screen and lean back towards them, watching them get confused that I don't back off from their invasion of my personal space and return it.

I work in hospitality and our “manager” ran across the car park in pouring rain to beg some foul mouthed woman to come back to the restaurant.. She’d been chucked out for shouting, using vile language and hitting a staff member with a menu😟 Sunday lunchtime, full with families who silently watched this! My respect for that manager shrivelled to nothing that day. Head Office never defended us - not once. Vile, handsy drunken men who touched the young girls were allowed back in “if they apologised”
People who peed all over the floor in the toilets, vomited up the wall, or (on several occasions) shat themselves were allowed back after a few days banning.
Huge company, thousands of staff, zero respect.

There is literally NO hostility in this post 🙄

I said there's no way we are taking him to get PTS. So they arranged for a friend to collect him the next day, and off to the vets they went!

@saywhatnow1

This is really sad. Were they not upset at all about their dog dying?!

Once long ago , a brand new store made a mistake, "we accept any voucher against any product" .
My sister calls says grab some vouchers, the biggest ones you can find and come shopping. I had a car with a big boot...
The store was being stripped of goods...
I had over £1500 in vouchers we had a whale of a time.
Now this little old lady was shopping, trolley with all she could afford, someone shouted and everyone hand over vouchers to the lady. Think she got £500 worth... people were asking her what wine, did she like steak ECT her dolly was swooped for a bigger one and she got things she could use as the fresh stuff was long gone...
She got to the checkout and was trying to say she hadn't purchased stuff it was being forced on her. The staff told her no it was ok. She could have it all for just the vouchers...
Someone even had a taxi and took her home....
Best day ever....

(and not that I’m still holding a grudge but 20 years later and she works in a bingo hall whilst my husband most definitely made something of himself) - sucks to be her!

You come across as a real snob. There’s no shame in any kind of an honest days work and I think it probably sucks more to be you.

@MoonWoman69 God knows! It was always in weird corners of the store. Except for the shit, that was trailed round having dripped down someone's leg 🤮

I don't understand the issue with going back to the shop because parts of a hot tub were missing? Surely the seller of the product is responsible?

E.g. If I buy a new car and there is an issue, I should go back to the garage I bought it from to sort out the issue not the car manufacturer?

I forgot this one. I was working in the community and this man was having daily visits from someone in our team. It was my 1st visit to him.
He finally opened the door, but complained about the way I'd knocked! There was no doorbell, so I knocked on the door. Apparently I was supposed to bend down to the post slot at shin level, and rattle the flap back and forth. I apologised and suggested he put a sign on the door so people knew how he wanted to door knocked. He blew into a range and threatened to throttle me with his walking stick whilst holding it above his head! No- he didn't have dementia or other neurological issue and yes, I got out of there very quicky!

I used to work in Woolies in one of the big W stores, I worked customer service and entertainment as well as tills and shop floor occasionally when it was busy, like Christmas eve, I lost count of all the times I got told I ruined Christmas because we didn't have xyz left at 3pm on Christmas eve.
On the customer service desk I used to get all sorts of bullshit excuses, I used to get called all sorts of names, but the one customer that stood out for me was a woman who brought back a hamster cage, 6months after she'd bought it asking for a refund, I said no it was obvious it wasn't faulty and we couldn't resell it as it had been used and was still full of bedding. She got nasty screaming at me and asked to speak to a manager, who I got and then he apologised&gave her a refund I was so annoyed. I told him it was obvious the hamster had died and she just wanted the money back, it was nowhere near the 30day policy and why did he give her a refund. She just said the customer is always right! He was a top twat though!
I still work in retail and hairdressing the public are bonkers and every year seems to get worse. Most customers are nice, but the cuntstomers are definitely getting more prevalent too!

@Adviceneeeeded

I think different restaurants must have different policies and\or booking systems. I normally try to book online but on several occasions when that hasn't been possible I've rung up or visited the premises and spaces have been available.

Not me but a co worker. Made to measure blinds. They agreed all the measurements. Very stroppy and exacting. Blinds delivered were dolls house size. He’d given sizes in mm not cm and so that was what he got. They did keep checking but he knew better!!

When I was airline cabin crew (decades ago) a lady came on board with her husband. He had a window seat a few rows ahead of her and she sat in one of the over wing exit seats, next to a window, so she was adjacent to the emergency exit. I asked her to let me brief her on how to use the exit in an emergency and she refused. When asked why, she said she had an artificial limb. Well, unfortunately it wasn't allowed to have someone with mobility issues next to an exit because in the event of an emergency they have to agree to open the exit and climb out onto the wing. So I gently explained this to her and asked her if I could show her to another seat. She refused. No amount of cajoling or a visit from the captain was going to change her mind. We couldn't legally take off with her sitting there so she was holding up the flight, and other passengers were getting a bit antsy. Eventually we had to call the airport police so she had a choice as to whether to leave with them or move seat. She was calling me all sorts of names and loudly making a huge fuss. Eventually she moved, and even then I tried to make polite conversation with her. It turned out that this shouty loud woman was from the New York Noise Abatement Society!! I have no idea if that is actually a thing but she sure made enough noise herself!!

I was a working milliner. Ladies brought their outfits to my shop, I designed and made them hats or fascinators to match. One lady returned after the wedding demanding a full refund because she hadn't worn the hat I'd made. Why not? It was the wrong colour. But I dyed the feathers, they matched your frock perfectly. Her reply? I know but I wore a different outfit and the hat was wrong.

Another woman wanted a very elaborate fascinator. I quoted her £X. Oh and I want extra veiling, and lots more feathers, and Swarovski crystals in the flowers and hand beaded leaves. Can you do that? Yes. That will cost £X+++
Shock horror! I don't know how you've the face to ask all that for a few bits of ribbon and a scrap of veiling! I pushed the components across to counter to her, with my compliments. 'They're no use to me', she stormed. 'I can't make a hat with those!'
Just so, Madam. She left in a great huff.