Nightmare customers and general bat shittery - what are your stories?

Not retail but as a nurse Ive been sworn at, hit, kicked or spat on plenty of times!

My favourite direct patient quote though was during a cardiac arrest when they kept pushing their buzzer for attention. When told why nobody was available to help them at the moment their response was; 'I dont care if somebody is dying...I want a cup of tea now!'😦

@JudgeJ This doesn't surprise me at all about the cafe customers. I used to work in Manchester right near where the IRA bomb went off. There was a series of different coded warnings for different things - back in the day when bombers used to warn you they were going to bomb you - and there was one that meant you evacuated customers and searched the shop. People would not leave, it was unbelievable. Or they would agree to go, but want to pay for what was in their baskets before they left.

Oh and at work - someone complaining a tree on a neighbouring property was a health hazard to his kids and that he was going to sue for when the inevitable happened and his kids were killed by debris…

We had said he could access our property to prune the tree but that wasn’t good enough.

I spent a good while in showing it was in fact HIS tree and so totally his responsibility. So if it was a health hazard that was his problem, not mine.

I’ve got a few, but my most recent one is a guest who booked to stay in my airbnb, then complained she couldn’t sleep because of the “noise” (we live at the property and manage to sleep with our windows open just fine). Ive had 3 years of 5 reviews but she gave me a 1 and FOUR pages of “advice” to help me improve - irrespective of the fact that she’s the ONLY guest who has been so wholly dissatisfied. This was AFTER I refunded her expecting her to leave - and she kept returning to see her friend, who empathised with some of her complaints but chose to stay rather than be refunded and leave.

She criticised my dogs living at the property (it’s at the family home) and approaching her because she left the gates to her accommodation open. Also she prefers the Cotswolds…. 😂 pets being at the property is on my listing. One is an 11 year old lab who can’t walk 5 metres without wheezing.

I live with two kids at my home and if someone is just going to throw bitchy looks and complain, I’d rather they just left. Rather than stay and make life difficult - she’s the only one I’ve ever had to propose that to!

Sweet?! He waited until 5.30pm on Christmas Eve to get a card for his wife. It's not like Christmas is a movable feast: he had plenty of warning. I think the department manager explained we had none and ushered him out. I can't actually remember - him rolling under the door with a load of bags was quite spectacular and we were a bit taken back!

Same shop, we had a very old school manager whose job was his life. He used to bring his elderly mother to look at his shop during different promotions. In the run to Christmas one year one of my colleagues on the tills got a paper cut from some wrapping paper and rang her bell for a plaster. The manager came storming over, "Don't bleed on the stock!"

Dentistry is no better than retail
pt emailed to complain we had given them something free - that’s happened a few times it’s weird
another made a formal complaint because the hygienist ‘made her teeth clean’
someone threatened to sue me because I asked him about his medical history- I have to ask It’s for his safety I told him to go right ahead
at some point in the last decade, one woman absolutely refused to let our female dentist do her checkup because ‘you’re a woman - you must be a hygienist’ - she would not have it that women can be dentists too

NOT 1111 1234, 3333

Not a retail one but in school the new Head of Department had a keypad fitted to the stockroom door so we weren't having to chase the key all the time, an excellent idea. However the next day he was going crazy at some Year 10s who were standing by the open door, grinning and refusing to tell him how they'd opened it. Eventually we worked it out, it was a cheap, mechanical keypad where the order of the digits didn't matter, he had set it so that we Maths teachers would easily remember it, pi, 3.142 but rearranged to 1234!

One retail one told by one of my Year 11 pupils, in 1996 there was a credible bomb threat and the Manchester Arndale was being very quickly evacuated, she was working in a cafe and they had people queuing to get a refund before they left! Half an hour later a large part of the centre of Manchester was destroyed.

10 minutes before Christmas Eve closing a woman in Asda was screaming at an assistant on the fresh vegetables section because there were no sprouts left, didn't they know it was Christmas! I think we all wanted to sing.

Get this every time England are playing football or FA cup final. About an hour before the match or close, get loads of customers rushing in buying beer etc.

We knew England are going to be in the final from Wednesday night and had 3 days to plan.

Anyway anyone who drinks beer should have beer or other alcoholic drinks at home at all times.

I always have alcohol at home.

@username1010 I didn't explain it very well 🙈 the bits that were missing were usually admitted to have been left at home because they 'forgot' or 'dropped' them. Obviously we required things to be returned in full

Then there were the ones who had zero proof of purchase, no idea what date or time roughly they bought it so we couldnt trace the transaction, who would still try to return a random hot tub on a trolley with no box so we couldn't even link it to a barcode

Working in A&E and a patient had a cardiac arrest in a bay just surrounded by curtains. We all rush in, try to move the adjoining patients and beds further away, pulled the curtains, started CPR, adrenaline, shocking him etc. Unfortunately, he died. RIP.
Afterwards, I went to the bed next to him to him to apologise that they would have clearly heard everything that went on. The wife of that patient pipes up
'You do realise we have been here an hour and no one has even offered us a cup of tea yet!'

I'm now f/t self-employed in Specialist Retail as of 2018 but I've worked in Retail and various other jobs over the years dealing with all kinds of nutters!

At the time I was working in a restaurant and there was only a small carpark for both staff and customers at the front. There was always a lot of confusion and various cars being blocked in/not being able to get out or in.

I had various customers being really nasty to me demanding ''move your car so I can get out''. I explained I can't move my car as I am not a driver and don't have a car! So then they got even more nasty with me ''but you need to move the car so I can leave/get in' . I CAN'T MOVE MY CAR BECAUSE I DON'T BLOODY HAVE ONE!

They demanded I tell other staff and customers to move their cars but I then received another load of abuse and threats when I told them it's not my job to do such things, I'm a restaurant waiter, not a parking maid!

A couple of people were really nice when I explained and quietly had a natter with the managers but a lot were really nasty to me for something that literally wasn't my fault!

This is amazing 😂😂😂

I used to work at a restaurant chain that served chicken at various spice levels. A customer was barred for being visibly intoxicated and rude to staff. His response to this was to go to the supermarket across the road every day, buy a whole rotisserie chicken, and eat it rather aggressively outside so that he was fully visible to us through the windows. It was absolutely hilarious, and completely bizarre. I can’t remember how long this went on for but he did eventually get the message that he wasn’t allowed back, and no amount of rotisserie chicken would change that 🤣

We get customers who pay with contactless and card then expects a PIN. Some customers react to this like its the end of the world.

It's a security element done by YOUR BANK, not the RETAILER. Its an algorithm your bank decides on. A couple of customers say it always happens in here. Well if you buy cigs and groceries every day - that's 14 transactions a week in one place.

Then get customers say "i don't know my PIN". Well firstly don't need to keep the PIN your bank randomly allocated to you. Go to any ATM and put card in and under card services, change PIN. Change it to something you remember - childhood phone number, a birthday of a loved one etc. NOT 1111 1234, 3333 etc.

Then what happens is customer has the cash or pays contactless with another card. The first card would still need a PIN before paying with it - even though its a different day etc.

My Mum was a teacher at a rough school in the NE.

At a parent teacher night about 20 years ago, she caught one of the parents walking out with the classroom television! She confronted her, got a mouthful of abuse and ended up letting her leave with it as she didn't know what else to do.

I'm reasonably fluent in both now. I know if I'm offered a drink in Lancashire it means alcohol, if it is tea of coffee then its a brew.

I can both mash and brew tea.

Whether a baby is skriking or roaring.

I have got stuck with, "have you not.." instead of my native, "haven't you.."

I know a 'pie and pea supper' will be meat and potato pie but if I have a pie in Yorkshire it will be pork.

Mine are tame (NHS)

A woman demanded I knock on all the doors in the HealthCentre to find out who had parked in one of the BlueBadge spaces without a badge and make them move . Erm that's a "No"

One who arrived with an appointment slip (hand written not printed) but the date and day didn't tally . I recognised the writing of a member of staff who had left over a year ago and when I checked they'd missed this appointment but must;ve found the slip . They 100% refused to believe me even though I said "That;s Amy;s writing and when did you last see her ....a years ago ....?"

The ones who say they have an appointment , have a letter (but its at home ) and when I show them the letter on the computer (its for tomorrow or next week) and maybe bring it with them....

And ones who kick off if I;m running late because my patient is in a wheelchair or very frail or in one case needed Paramedics .. It takes all my strength to not say "I hope you;re ashamed of yourself showing off like that"

What a ridiculously judgmental comment.

Work for a popular coffee shop, our toilets get sprayed with shit a minimum of once a week. It's everywhere, up the walls etc..

Next time you're in a coffee shop and they have an out of order sign chances are it's shit sprayed, I hate the public at times

Thankfully not had too many terrible customers in my time.
Did have someone recently - I volunteer in a charity shop - complaining about the cost of CD's. The one he wanted was a very limited edition and quite rare. We priced it at £7.99, and you'd have to cough up at least twice that for it elsewhere.
Anyway he asked if it was the right price, and I said yes. He queried it again and I explained that we research all items to ensure that the pricing is appropriate.
He didn't agree and shouted "I could easily buy this cheaper elsewhere!" at me. I just said "Okay then" and didn't engage further.