Nightmare customers and general bat shittery - what are your stories?

I worked in a cafe and a man waltzed in, handed me an envelope and said ‘can you drop that into the local school on your way home, I’m not going past there today.’ - it was so odd and I was young and I did it! Thing is, it wasn’t on my walk home either! No idea why he just assumed I would be walking past somewhere he needed a letter dropping in to.

I also worked in a clothes shop on Oxford St, and one day I had to cover the security guard while he went on lunch and stand by the doors. A woman walked up to me to ask me a question about some clothes she was holding and she set the alarms off, I asked her to step back away from the alarm and she spat the words ‘you stupid little girl’ at me. So odd.

This happened to a relative. A customer turned up to test drive a top spec SUV. This was in the early 1990’s when dealers would let some customers take demonstrators home for a couple of days.

The SUV was returned at the end of the week, back seats laid flat, the floor, sides and back of the seats all deeply encrusted in poultry and calf shit.

Had a customer who wanted to return a swimsuit. I refused to as she removed the gusset tape and there were skid marks on it.

She yelled at me. I said to her “would you buy this swimsuit in this condition?” She said no. So why would she think we should accept this refund?

Then 2 years ago a customer got a three pack of babygros from a relative and asked she needs the next size up. The logo for the clothing was the old style changed mid 10s. I looked inside one of the babygros and found the label and dating code on it was 2011! Said to her does this relative have a 11-12 year old? Yes - their youngest child.

My aunt used to work for a well known department store in the States. People used to buy a new outfit on a Friday, wear it all weekend then take it back on the Monday and ask for a refund!!! Cheeky feckers 🤣🤣 not many got refunded as they were regular returners

Oooh I used to work in a mobile phone shop and an old man came in wondering if we sold tongue scrapers and stuck out his tongue and mimed scraping it. Ugh 🤢

When my father was dying we had Marie Curie nurses at night sometimes. They were wonderful and meant we could get some sleep. They explained that the night cover part of the job is voluntary. They get paid for doing it but they are not contractually obliged to do nights.One of them had been to a home where the patients dog bit her because it was stressed that she was near the dogs owner. The family refused to put the dog in another room. She didn't go back. Nurses were expected to sit in the pitch dark all night because the patient was sleeping. These were people who were entering the active dying phase. A light in the corner would have been a basic minimum. No heating on in a freezing house. Told they couldn't use the kettle or microwave during a 10pm to 7am shift. People behave in appalling ways to others who are trying to make the end of life better.

Not quite as bad but I had a customer who ordered a take away pizza and then complained that there was tomato sauce on it as she was allergic

1. the menu said tomato sauce
2. we didn't do any of the creamy sauces so it wasn't a mix up
3. she never said she was allergic
4. it would have been no problem to make up the pizza without tomato sauce if she had asked.

I couldn't understand it! Pizza! It has tomato sauce as a default

I used to be the manager for the trade area of a DIY store and had a few chuckles.

One man expected us to completely replace £1100 of laminate that he had installed because it turned out there was moisture issues in the property and he hadn't checked this before laying the flooring and it warped. That would be a nope.

Frequently had people trying to return things from other stores, and then baffled that we could actually tell that it wasn't our product.

Or hot tubs out of the box with random pieces missing/not working and people not happy about it being a manufacturer return not a store one. Had someone camp for 3 hours trying to return one.

There was the man who expected me to get a forklift out on the shop floor in the middle of a busy Sunday afternoon because the cement mixer he wanted was up in storage and he couldn't wait a whole day for us to get it down overnight. Asked for my supervisor and didn't like being told that actually I was the duty manager for the day so my decision on health and safety was final. Sent a complaint in about me, which came straight to me as it was my department, which was subsequently closed since I had already tried to deal with it on the day.

Bodily fluid bingo was a thing in store. I think we checked off every variety in the 3 years I was there.

The staff were also batshit. We had affairs, breakups, makeups, mid life crises, arguing on the shop floor.

Every day going into work was an adventure 😅

As a teacher, a few that stand out of the many hundreds

The parent who sent in a written complaint that we were not giving her child enough one to one attention. The reason she needed one to one attention was that parents were too busy to provide it at home

The parent who complained I had talked to her daughter about the possibility of getting a job in the future, apparently without understanding that such wild talk was going to disrupt her application to get a council flat.

The online covid lesson which parents watched and 5 rang the school to say I taught too slowly, and 5 rang the school to say I taught too fast.

The fathers who won't talk to women teachers, and teach their sons to disrespect them

The parents called to pick up their stoned teenage son, and arrived stoned out of their minds themselves,

The parents who expect "room service education" after covid, and try and demand that all lessons are live streamed for the benefit of their little johnny sitting on the settee at home with a cold.

well, I could go on indefinitely really

I was a teen working in a theme park in USA on a work placement thing. I was working in a candy store and one day a woman came in and was browsing the items. Suddenly she started yelling at me that I should have gone straight to her assistance and helped her as she was clearly wanting to get something.

Firstly it wasn't obvious. I was stood as I always was by my till as there were other people there and I had assumed that if someone wanted my help or anything they'd ask me and I'd have gone over. I was at that point on my own in the store. She was completely screaming at me and I was in shock. I was just thinking wtf. I didn't really say much as I couldn't get a word in edgeways but then I did something that wasn't the smartest move. I had started to go towards her to help her but as she carried on yelling, something inside my teen brain thought 'no don't run to her when she's screaming at you like that' so I literally stopped half way to her , turned around and went back to my till. I don't know why I did that

This obviously flamed the fire and she screamed even more at me, demanding a manager, wanting me to be fired, telling me she didn't pay 80 dollars to have some little kid give her attitude or something.

I think someone came in and took over serving her and I promptly was taken out the back by some colleagues and burst into tears lol and spent a good hour or so being consoled!

I was moved to a different store that day and spent the whole day worrying she'd come back.

@MoonWoman69 we have a customer that hands over a load of coupons mix of cut out of newspapers, through the post, from coupon printer and things in junk mail (such as the free Always bladder pads which are circulated where I live). We put the out of date coupons on one side.

“I take those” says the woman about the expired coupons.
”These are out of date”
“I don’t care”

Earlier this year, a colleague got fed up of woman handing over expired coupons to us that she ripped them up and binned them. Customer wanted to speak to a manager. Colleague showed manager a coupon dated Oct 2022. Manager backed us and said to the woman that expired coupons never become active

I have some from my holiday rep days.
One chap grabbed me round the neck and tried to drag me through the hotel reception to the restaurant to see the ‘shite excuse’ of an English breakfast on offer. This was in Egypt. The hotel staff wrestled him off me, it was awful, I remember sobbing for ages as I was so shook up.

Then there were the lads who smeared their own shit over the walls of their apartments (Kos) as a gift for the hotelier who had endured nothing but problems with them for their whole two weeks.

However, the worst was the woman in Corfu who decided to make my life a misery for her entire holiday because we would not accept her toddler (about 18 months) into the kids club (4-10 years). She would track me down around the hotel and scream obscenities at me, I lived in the hotel, there was no escape. On the final day of her holiday, as she was about to get on her transfer coach, I was talking to some other customers who were also leaving, she threw a plastic cup of piss at me. She then complained about me when she got home. I still recall her full name and her (then) address 32 years later.

Had a customer complaining that she was queuing for half an hour. I only started my shift 5-10 mins before this and i walked past the CSD 5-7 minutes before my shift started and she was not there. Not even when i went into the kiosk to let my colleague have her lunch.

“I have been waiting half an hour”
“I’m sorry you weren’t there when I walked into work 15 minutes ago”

She had a right strop. Even a customer who was behind her when entering the store said that wasn’t half an hour. As was in the dentist’s chair then.

My colleague took me off and the then store manager asked me to go into the office. He showed me the CCTV footage of me entering the store to start work, fast forward to me taking colleague out of CSD/Kiosk for lunch. Then her entering to her shouting. Manager said look at the time stamp on footage. Her ‘half hour of waiting’ was just 49 seconds! That was the time she joined the queue of two people to her throwing her hands in the air! I do wish sometimes half an hour at work whizzes past in 49 seconds

She basically shouted at the wrong person. She was banned.

When I worked in Magic and Sparkle, there were a few! A couple were -
Working on Boxing Day, I started at 6am and was in the menswear department, reducing the clothes for the sale. (My usual department was food/checkouts). We were all working fast and still not quite done 5 minutes before opening. I looked up and it was like a scene from a zombie movie! There were 100's of people all crammed up against the doors, clawing at the glass to get in!
The doors opened at 8am, people running, falling to the floor, yelling, I've never seen anything like it. An older Asian male ran over to me and started tugging on the shirt I was reducing and pulled it out of my hand, then threw it to the floor and ran over to the rails. He then came back and in really bad English, asked me to get him a "short sleeved jumper". I said I didn't think we sold them, because I hadn't seen them, but would ask. Asked a colleague, came back, said no, we didn't sell short sleeved jumpers. He started miming and demonstrating short sleeves. I'm shaking my head and saying, no, we don't sell them. He was getting more and more agitated, then grabbed my arm, pulled me across to a rail and pointed out a whole load of sleeveless (not short sleeved as he was indicating!) tank tops! One of which, he selected, picked off the rail, pointed at, held up to his chest, nodded and stomped off to the checkouts! Absolutely no idea what that was about! It was exactly what he wanted, was in the sale and he knew where they were! 🤣
I was on my checkout one morning, when a very entitled, well to do couple came through with a large shop. Upon getting to payment, she produced some vouchers and said, these need to be taken off the bill. I checked them over and handed them back. I'm sorry, these are out of date. No, they both said, they are not and handed them back to me. I pointed out the date, which was out by 14 months. Oh, they say, with a condescending smile, well, that really doesn't matter, it's Marks and Spencers! I said yes you are correct, they are M and S vouchers, but we still can't accept those as they are out of date, I'm sorry.
I was asked to call my manager, which I duly did, all the time they were smiling at me as though I was very simple and going to get a bollocking for a hideous misunderstanding. The manager came and told them exactly the same as I did! They then paid the full amount on a platinum card, stormed off and went to the cafe opposite my checkout, got a drink and positioned their chairs, with a little difficulty, so they could stare me out. Which they did! I took great pleasure in signing out and finishing my shift 3 minutes after they'd sat down!
I have to say though, some of the staff were more batshit than the customers! I was asked twice by a manager if I had seen a certain member of staff. I said no, not for a while. Apparently, he was later found fast asleep on the disabled toilet!
I would never work in retail again and bless those who do!

I work in a public facing job and this last 12 months has seen increasing number of loony tunes behaviour. Is it something in the water? Will write a book one day but no details here sorry

I always got these at 4:30 on a Friday.

One standout. Pub owner complained that cows had eaten his hanging baskets and he couldn't get out of his house as they crowded his front door. They also got into the beer garden and shat on the picnic benches.

The pub was in the middle of a field that we rented to the cows owner. He had left his gates open, all the boundaries were his boundaries to police. He marched up to my boss at one point with a bill for the damage but we refused to take it.

That is shocking!

These posts are amazing! Aren't people utter idiots. The older I get the more I think I want to live in an isolated location! Why are people so angry.
Being an idiot can bite you on the bum. Years ago I have to put up with an arrogant man as a hotel receptionist. He was rude, shouty and I never forget a face. Roll on a year later and I am in a different job and my colleague introduces her new husband -him. He knew I remembered.

I once had a complaint from a customer because I gave her a refund. I had phoned my manager in front of her to check, and the manager told me to go ahead and refund her, as we knew her, knew we’d made an error, and wanted to put it right. Apparently I should have ‘checked the paperwork’ first, because what if she shouldn’t have got a refund?? Presumably she thought we were idiots who handed out cash on demand to any old chancer. She then said she didnt like my attitude. My attitude was that I was flabbergasted!

@thinkfast funnily enough he complained about my attitude to the general manager and they gave him a free crossing to apologise. My boss said that my response of "you kiss your kids with that mouth" was unprofessional. I promptly left that job and found another one.

I hope you reported him to the police and banned him from ever boarding the ferry for that!

I worked in the same shop for 7 years and have loads but a couple that stand out...

Someone tried to return a breast pump because they didn't want it. I said that was fine as long as it was unopened and unused and she had the receipt. It was most definitely used... there was still breast milk inside it. She went mad at me when I refused to return it.

And a customer once threw a pushchair at me because I wouldn't give him a refund on it and he said it was faulty. It wasn't, it was just very, very well used and over 5 years old. He kept insisting he only got it a few months ago until I pulled out the catalogue from 5 years ago that we kept for situations just like this and showed him the exact one he had inside. (The changed the colour of them every year)
He didn't like this clearly so picked it up and threw it at me.

Had a passenger call me a cunt and try to grab me by the throat because he missed his ferry. In front of his 2 young kids as well. Demanded I call the captain of the ferry and order him to return to port so he could board. I did not do that.