AIBU: Needs Subtitles vs Hates Subtitles

This nasty selfish man should not be allowed in the same house as your daughter. Get rid.

Why wouldn't you prioritise your disabled daughter over anyone? I would prioritise my disabled adult son over everyone, even myself.

Your partner sounds like an immature, childish arse to me, does he understand your child at all? I feel really sorry for your poor autistic dd having had to grow up with this random man that's she's not related to in her life and home all the time. I imagine that's been extremely difficult for her if he can't even understand something as minor and basic as that she struggles to follow the tv without subtitles.

He's being a dick.

Could you get a second TV in the room? I know that would depend on whether you watch live or have cable etc.

But I agree need trumps like.

I think he has handled this appallingly.

Seems that there are enough TVs for someone to watch elsewhere if the subtitles are an issue!

Why would you expose yourself and welcome a man into your home that is like that?

Whats the name of the condition?

I think this is a symptom of a bigger issue.
Is it possible that your DP is wanting her to move out? Whose house is it? Is there a plan for DD to get her own place in the future?

But that's exactly what they're doing to him by having the subtitles on. There's a known condition that some people have which means that they can't see or concentrate on what's happening on screen as their eyes are drawn to the words! For some it even blocks out being able to concentrate on the sounds on the TV
Regardless of the volume that the TV is on he's not going to be able to enjoy watching anything!

Your daughter has a disability and this is a very easy accommodation to make. If your DP can’t accept and support your daughter he should move out. It’s horrible that he is making you both feel bad about it.

Tell him to sod off, I'm partially deaf and was never allowed the subtitles on cos my father hated it, bet this isn't the only thing he's a control freak on.

You are prioritising your DD over your partner! He can't concentrate with subtitles on, it is actually a known condition where your eyes are drawn to the words and it blur's (either physically or mentally) what is happening on screen. So you're basically saying to your partner your needs and comfort don't matter!
For what it's worth I'm autistic and often need subtitles to understand what's happening but I wouldn't impose them on someone who's eyes are drawn to the words rather than watching what's on screen. It's easier for me to stop doing other things and fully pay attention than it is for someone to stop their eyes being naturally drawn to the subtitles.

He wants you to himself doesn't he?

Your so called DP is an arsehole, you are not putting your daughter before him if you were you wouldn’t allow such a prick to live with her in the first place

I acknowledged that he is right that some subtitles can be highly annoying especially if you have trouble both reading and watching at the same time, and they cover the picture if they are huge. Some are done with AI now and day becomes clay for example, it’s annoying.

I often have subtitles as I’m a fast reader, but my dh finds it difficult if they are on. But as I sometimes do actually need them, he would never complain about it because he is not an arse like op’s partner.

Have a good clay! 😄

Touchy!

You wrote that some subtitles are "truly annoying tbf." Who were you being "fair" to if not this awful man?

I don’t understand. It seems like you have been brainwashed to believe it would be a BAD THING to prioritise your DD.

Of course she should be your priority. No question. I feel really sorry for her being bullied by this horrible man in her own home.

It really is he sounds manipulative and is clearly abusive and petty.

Your partner is awful I mean genuinely unreasonable and selfish. HE.wants to exclude your Dd from the family by complaining about subtitles!

We have subtitles on for Dh who has titinus it just helps him watch TV and my enjoyment of the programme is fine I don't get distracted.

How would he like it if every time he turned on the TV you changed the volume so it could just about make out what was being said but not quite because that's what he is doing to his daughter.

My daughter sometimes uses subtitles because she is dyslexic so she finds it easier to follow. If the subtitles are on I do find myself reading along as well but I'm all for making her life easier. He doesn't sound like he has any love for her. What do they do together other than watching TV?

This doesn’t address the underlying issue of your DP’s lack of empathy, but I bought my autistic DH a soundbar which has vastly improved his tv watching experience. He used to miss a lot of dialogue, but the soundbar makes everything much easier to follow. Ours is a SONOS.

He's being a dick, especially going in to her room to change her TV there too!

But i absolutely cannot watch a TV with subtitles on. i cannot listen/watch, and read, it just doesn't all work at the same time. It makes TV viewing extremely stressful for me having words at the bottom.

@tvdilemma ? Can you see how awful it is now, this man's bullying of your kid? That the TV is not the dilemma?

OMG put your child's needs and disabilities first. There is no reason for him not to have the subtitles on. He is not making it a problem because of the subtitles, but because of your daughter. That should tell you a lot about his attitude towards her. Prioritize her every fucking time over this selfish asshole.

I grew up deaf. Back in the day my parents saved up until they could afford to rent a Teletext TV with subtitles for the about five programmes a week available at that time.

They took such pleasure in seeing me laugh along with them to the wordplay in comedies and experiencing Top of the Pops along with my peers.

When I went to Uni there was a rule that if a deaf student went into the common room to watch TV, and wanted subs, subs they would have without fuss or argument.

My husband put the subs on for me when we were dating and got his family to put them on by default when I was staying with them. No moans, no dramatics.

That’s what decent people do. Fancy a father or stepfather making his own child feel small for wanting such a simple thing.

Subtitles benefit so many people other than deaf and hard-of-hearing people, as your post shows, OP. It’s even been shown that subtitles help children - not only deaf children - with literacy. More widely, it’s well-known that if you can both see and hear information you’re more likely to retain it, which is important for all the things TV is for, to inform, educate and entertain.

Every time he spitefully mucks about with the settings, turn the sound off on the main telly and see how he likes it then!

I think you’re on the countdown to him admitting that he wants her to move out and for it to just be the two of you.

Agree.