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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that your husband gets up in the night

121 replies

JennDi · 11/07/2024 10:00

As the title says.

Interested to see how many husbands get up if their baby / child wakes up during the night (once they are older than two months)

YANBU - my husbands shares the nights and gets up regularly / or at least some of the time

YABU - my husband doesn’t do any of the night waking

OP posts:
Coffeerum · 11/07/2024 10:16

I don’t under couples who are happy for their partner to never chip in with some nights. Maybe they just have better sleepers.

DH usually does the settles if baby wakes before bedtime, the toddler settles over night as they are rare but obviously sometimes happen and then takes the baby as we are in a 5am phase. On a bad night with lots of settles I will pass the baby to have and see if he can settle baby faster.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 11/07/2024 10:13

I did every night initially as bf and it was easier. In the many years since I stopped bf dh has always been the one to get up. I need more sleep so it makes sense.

MissTrip82 · 11/07/2024 10:13

We both got up once past breastfeeding stage.

We both have what MN would contemptuously call ‘big jobs’. Nobody gets a free pass on our responsibilities as parents - which includes both providing direct care and paying for our children.

We both resuscitate people for a living. The vast majority of people who do jobs like this aren’t getting a full eight hours every night.

fieldsofbutterflies · 11/07/2024 10:12

@whichmag if so, I doubt she'll get very far Grin

Clma · 11/07/2024 10:12

My partner would always take over after 4.30am, so I could sleep until 9am every morning. He would leave for work at 9am. It worked well as I would generally deal with the baby around 11pm and 3am, then later only one wake up around 1am. He's naturally an early riser, while I'm a night owl, so it was the best situation for both of us.

I've never understood those whose partners would get up and do the nappy while the mother breastfed. At least one of you should be getting some sleep!

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 11/07/2024 10:11

Two months wasn't the cut off for us as I breastfed longer than that. But once they stopped breastfeeding at night, DH did (still does) all the night wakings.

Overall I'd say we're pretty even with housework and parenting. This is just one area where he does more.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 11/07/2024 10:11

I was breastfeeding and off work, so did most of the wakes. If DS was being a gremlin and just refusing to sleep rather than needing feeding etc DH would help and definitely at weekends. We also had a system where I would go to bed about nine, DH would give an expressed bottle about eleven, and do between 6:30 and 8:30 when he left for work although I'd often be awake then but was very handy when it'd been a bad night

PregnantWithHorrors · 11/07/2024 10:10

Mine has.

whichmag · 11/07/2024 10:09

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fieldsofbutterflies · 11/07/2024 10:09

@whichmag if someone isn't happy then they're not happy - what a bunch of strangers do (or claim to do) is irrelevant 🤷‍♀️

arethereanyleftatall · 11/07/2024 10:07

Eh?
Your question needs context as without it it's pointless.
Breastfeeding?
Work situations?
Job situations?

whichmag · 11/07/2024 10:05

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SonicTheHodgeheg · 11/07/2024 10:05

He did every Friday night so I could sleep in Saturday morning. If he wanted to go out on Friday night then he did Saturday night instead.

I was a SAHM so I think that this was fine.

Hermittrismegistus · 11/07/2024 10:05

DH did all night time care. In the early days when breastfeeding he would hand DD to me to feed and then take her back, change her and put her in her cot. Once she went on formula he did the night feeds too.

QuiltedHippo · 11/07/2024 10:05

He didn't as he didn't have tits. The fucker

Moonshiners · 11/07/2024 10:05

If BF was not working or needed DH would get up. If it was me he would do 90% of the early mornings.

fieldsofbutterflies · 11/07/2024 10:04

What's the purpose of a thread like this apart from to judge how people parent and potentially make some people feel awful (or defensive) for no good reason?

MulberryBushRoundabout · 11/07/2024 10:04

Absolutely he does. Our night shifts have looked different depending on our work pressures and parenting pressures over the years, but we are absolutely both involved in a way we both think is fair.

Moltenpink · 11/07/2024 10:03

My husband used to stay up late till about 1am in the newborn phase, while I got an early night. Then I did the night wakings and early mornings.

By 2 months my babies both slept through the night anyway so this worked for us for the short term.

whichmag · 11/07/2024 10:02

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whichmag · 11/07/2024 10:01

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