To think that your husband gets up in the night

I breastfed each of mine to two; so I did it up to then. Beyond that, I felt like I'd done my bit - he has done about 75% of the wakings since then (although they're now 11 and 8 and we don't get woken in the night any more unless something dramatic happens like someone has been sick and then it's all hands on deck; one parent to comfort and the other to clean/strip beds).

Whenever baby woke in the night I would go and prepare their feed. Whilst I was doing this my husband would change their nappy. So we shared it really

We used to take turns when they were babies. Both bottle fed.
my husband wfh 100% and tbh his job isn’t that demanding so it worked for us. I understand if someone is on mat leave and their other half is up early for work or whatever it is probably different.

First six months, I was bfing so got up.

We night weaned around 6 months, so DH played a big role there, doing most of the wakeups for a few week

After that we shared it. I was back in work at 8 months anyway.

I think it’s reasonable for dad’s to not do nightfeeds except perhaps on a weekend night, whilst mum is on mat leave and/or ebf.

DP would generally be the one who got up apart when I was breastfeeding but even then he’d often do a nappy change/resettle after. Dd slept through (7-7) from about 4 months though (I’m aware this was v v v lucky as my eldest - not DP’s child - slept through about 4/5 years 😱).

Even now she’s 3, if she ever does wake or cough or whatever in the night, he will usually be the one to check on her. He has physical job and long commute and works away sone nights. he’s also late 40s so older than the average. Because he works away (average 2/3 nights per week) and works sone weekends, he really tries to make up for it when he’s around by doing a lot for her and it’s reflected in their relationship.

I'm a SAHM to three and a carer for our youngest (7) My husband works from 5am - 5pm most days and we take turns each night with our youngest who doesn't sleep well at all and needs 24/7 supervision.

Fathers need to do their share of night waking from the start? Even when working and mum is on maternity leave.

Almost never as I BF and was a SAHP. But he always got up with the first to wake, so that I could sleep in. He also got the older kids up, ready and delivered to nursery. We had one lie in each at the weekend.

This exactly! There’s not even one answer for each couple I imagine as it will change over time! With one child when I was breastfeeding, I did them, as a toddler we took turns, second child, we divide and conquer, he takes toddler, I breastfeed baby. On days when it would be dangerous for him to be tired at work I did more at night and caught up on his days off.

It’s about what works for you as a couple - I find non breastfeeding parent to do start or night and morning while breastfeeding does middle worked for us but every family is so individual! Dads maybe can’t do half feeding but they can support in lots of other ways.

Im a single parent so did it all, generally though I think if mum is off work and particularly if she's bf she should do the lion share.

If dad is at work, driving alot, operating heavy machinery or has another job with high level of risk he should get as much undisturbed sleep as possible for his own and others safety.

If you are both at work / mum has the riskier job or drives more then it needs to be shared

BF baby, I did it all. Didn't see any point in us both being tired, DH took the baby in the morning before he went to work instead.

Waking 4.5 year old, DH does it all and often just sleeps with him so we all get more sleep.

I always did nights. My husband works and I don't so I could nap with the baby in the day. And to be fair I coslept so mostly the baby woke looking for a boob, which was right there, so I got decent sleep anyway.

I still do the putting to bed of our now 7 year old probably 95% of the time, but now if she comes downstairs while we're still up - she sometimes sleepwalks at about 11pm - he is generally the one to lead her back to bed.

I got up when the DC were babies, as soon as they went into their own rooms at 1+ DH took over nights. I need my sleep! Kids learnt that grumpy mum was not worth waking up so go straight to dad - in fairness he sleeps nearest the door anyway. Oh and I'm a SAHM.

I never had a husband so did all night wakings myself as a single mum, however I have answered from the point of view of my own childhood- I am 60ish! my father did most of the night wakings in our child hood. In fact, I still don't really know how he did it, but he always seemed to know I was unwell a few moments before I did

DH did all the night wakes once my kids weren't breastfeeding anymore. He always survived much better on less sleep than I did 😂 he did all the early mornings at weekends too 😊

Two months is irrelevant, I BF so do nights but DH will do evenings before we turn in. I’ve never minded getting up to feed but I don’t like mornings so DH has always done more of those.

Obs I did all the breastfeeding. But if he woke up and i was feeding, he would get up and make me a fruit tea. It made me feel less lonely.

He works very long hours, so he would do the 11pm one so I could go to sleep at about 9pm. I would then do through the night.

When I was on mat leave with DTs I did it all, Sunday to Thursday. H did Friday and Saturday. I used to go to bed about 9, he would do the 10pm feed so at least I got a block of sleep.

When I went back to work which helpfully coincided with a huge sleep regression, we took it in turns, or were both up together. It was torture and nearly broke me.

As they got older it was whenever they called for!

I’ve never done any night feeds/wakings etc. I have ASD, ADHD and ME. My dh has done them all and worked full time

Where's the option for he does all of the nights?

Since about 2 years he's done every night wake. Only wakes me if DD is really distressed, needing me or medication. 1-2 years it was mixed. First year was me with occasional help. I was breastfeeding and on maternity leave. So seemed silly for him to have broken nights then when not needed. Now he deals better with lack of sleep than me, so it's my turn to sleep.

Works well for us. Thiugh DD has generally always been quite a good sleeper.

Now they are a little older (3 & 5) but often wake briefly in the night, DP gets woken by DD who settles well for him, and DS always comes round to my side of the bed and settles better for me. So a very even split here.

YANBU

I breastfed so it was always me.

I went to bed early around 9 . Dh did the 11:30 bottle I did the 3:30 one and then it was morning when they needed the next one. When they got older he would give them a dreamfeed at 11 and I would go to bed earlier again and get up in the morning with them. Suited both our natural body clocks perfectly.
They were both brilliant sleepers though so we were very lucky.

While I was breastfeeding DS at night and he was in our room, i would do all the wake ups. It was annoying enough being tired from BF without getting into the "who's most tired" competition, he couldn't help anyway so there was no point him being tired in solidarity.
Luckily as soon as DS moved into his own room he stopped waking for feeds so now my partner does all the night wakes (though DS is a good sleeper so most of the time he sleeps through). My partner also does all the night wakes for our older DD.
I gave up my sleep during both pregnancies and BF during the first 9 months with each child, I figure I have until DS is at least 2 before it's equalled out 😂