Friends with money

Why?

The teacher won't care.

You sound nuts.

Your 6 year old does not "worship money".

It's very easy to explain wealth discrepancy to children. "We haven't got enough money for that."

I talk to my children about wealth divides across the world quite a bit. You can show them pictures of diffefent types of hpuses and there is a good article with pictures you can google on favourite toys of chikdren across the world, where in one part of the world the toy is a plastic bottle and another part its a nintendo. I think its healthy to show ypur kids that they arent in a bubble, to be grateful but also that there is always someone richer and always someone poorer, wherever you are in the scale. I explain some childfen live in rubbish dumps and have no school, some live in palaces but we are all human. My son always says he wants to make lots of money when hes older but he will give half to the poorer people. So I think its fine to want money and great if you can make lots, but perspective and compassion for those less fortunate is as important. Thats what I try and teach them about money. They often ask, are we rich or poor. I tell them its relatjve but we are more fortunate than much of the worlds population and I think although we arent super rich, anyone earning a decent wage in the west enough to afford a holiday abroad is in the worlds top 10 percent of earners

No, you are not the only one. I have witnessed my son doing just that - and two have gone in at once. It's not called a cake hole for nothing 🤣

You are making it about money. Your 6 year old just sees a house that he likes. He doesn’t know what it costs and whether you can afford it or not.

I remember being excited when I went to a friends house because they had a soda stream and I thought that they were the coolest family ever.

He’s 6. Let him be excited by his friends house.

my friends have always been of a similar wealth to ourselves ….some a bit more….some a bit less….but nothing major ….kids see things in black and white….they want what the rich kid has…… they not going to buy you saying ‘ money doesn’t matter’ …..find some other mates to go on holiday with

I doubt the teacher has a private pool either so it's probably fine 😂.

Ooooo you have to savour the scrummyness

You make it sound like you eat them in at least two parts...am I the only one who just shovels them in ?

I bite of the icing then lick the blob then scarf the bun in two bites not classy or elegant but completely enjoyable

OP I have this issue. I found just talking through the fact that, although we don’t have to worry about money, we aren’t as wealthy as some of the people we know. I will say… it worked well until I got my kids’ school writing books back at the start of the summer. He had written an essay on how we are not rich. It ran something like - my parents aren’t poor, but they are not rich either. My house is ok, but not huge. We go on holidays, but not as much as I’d like and we never have a private pool. I was mortified thinking about the teacher reading it… 🥴

How do you eat them? I turn them upside down and eat the sponge first, so I am left with the blob of cream covered in icing. Yummy.

I have had similar, but with BIL's car, swanky Porsche, as opposed to our Ford Focus.

At that age I just said, very straight forward, we can't afford that, he has more money than us. Generally that was all that was needed.

My 5 year old is similar one of his best pals has a awesome house whilst he shares a bedroom with his brother.
He's also said how he wants to go to Disney land and how come he doesn't get a toy each time we do a day out somewhere.

I simply explain that many things cost money and that we still do nice things and holidays as that's what mummy and daddy save our money to do. He knows if he wants a toy he saves for it then asks to take some of his money with us on a day out.

He's not too young to explain about savings and also reality that everyone's lives are different and have different things going on.
His friend on the other hand wants to come to our house because we have a tree swing and he thinks it's the best thing!

Well they are.

Most children prefer to go to the other house as it’s different and more fun.

It was bound to happen. Teenagers are always impressed by money. It doesn't mean they don't want their life.

God I still think French fancies are the very pinnacle of class in cakes.

at 6yo you don't need to overthink it. But in future i probably wouldn't holiday with people where difference in money causes discomfort.

I agree with this.

And often rich children have perfectly nice parents who aren't overly stressed, play with them loads and do lovely things with them. So often it's a lie anyway.

Better just to tell it like it is - some people have more than others and that's just life. But we (and for many families, this will be true) are fortunate compared to others who have less, so although it might not always feel like it, there isn't all that much to complain about and best just to enjoy what we do have.

I don’t think it’s telling it like it is to teach your kids to feel better about material things they don’t have by identifying subjective things to feel superior to their friends about, especially not things that are personal or hurtful. Telling it like it is would be being matter of fact about people having different financial situations and making different choices and then leaving it there. Saying “I bet your friends wish they had a daddy like yours who has time to play with you” isn’t giving them understanding of anything - it’s almost certainly not true, it’s judgemental, it reinforces comparison and envy, and it has potential to come back to bite both you and your child.

This was my first thought too 😂

Don't destroy their innocence. It's perfectly ok for kids to think that it would be cool to have a swimming-pool, a bowling-alley, a trampoline or whatever their richer friends have. Let's be honest, it is pretty cool. And we're not failing as parents just because our kids covet cool stuff that other people have. It's normal.

One of my DC's friends has horses and a swimming-pool. My DC is scared of horses so no issues there but he would quite like the swimming-pool. We've been swimming there a few times and I just say when DC raises it "Yeah, it would be so nice to have a swimming-pool like Tom does, but our house is too small. Maybe we could flood the kitchen?" And that makes my DC laugh. And then I point out that the public pool is 15 minutes away and would DC like to go swimming at the weekend? And maybe DC can have his own swimming-pool when he's grown up. End of issue.

A lot of my school friends had stuff I didn’t and would have liked. I was fine, it’s one of the first life lessons in not getting everything you want.

Agree with getting them involved with budgeting. My dad used to come home with his pay packet and mum and dad would sit with me and help me count out money to go into various tins - one for food, one for electricity etc. I’ve always been perceptive and knew from very young that my parents didn’t have a lot of money, without them saying it. All our needs were met but not our wants, and I so I never asked for things that I knew would have been a stretch.