DH grew up very poor, social housing, parents out of work. This means he is very risk adverse when it comes to money, as he has a lot of fear around not having enough money which I can understand.
when we met we were earning similar, and over the last 10 years I have grafted and gone for every promotion and every opportunity that has come my way. It’s been a hard slog. I have had to work for some atrocious managers and worked under a lot of pressure. He has often said I can’t handle this. Anyway in that time, I have had two DC and always worked full time after maternity leave. Since having the DC I have worked a compressed week to save on childcare but it’s been a killer and I’m close to burnout after doing 40 hour weeks and a day of solo childcare.
I earn around 50% more than DH (plus save a days childcare for the two DC every month) and I think it’s time to cut back hours but it would take a big hit to our finances. I’ve asked DH to do a compressed week but his boss ‘doesn’t approve them’. I’ve talked to him about moving jobs but he likes to stay where he is where he is comfortable. He doesn’t push on in the same way I do.
im exhausted, the kids were up at 5:30, he asked me if I was going to get up, to which I replied ‘in a minute’ and then began a rant about how lazy I was. I basically told him where to go but I was in so much rage I told him that the reason I’m so exhausted is because I work so much/do so much childcare/housework and I can’t keep going the way I am. Then I told him I resented him for not earning enough money, meaning I’m trapped in the situation I’m in. I know I shouldn’t have said it and he’s obviously fuming now, telling me he doesn’t like the person I am in front of the kids.
I think i am BU but how do I deal with this resentment I feel??