Bride in need I really don't know where to turn

Absolutely. It's one thing making comments, but physically zooming in on photos to show you?

Believe me, I know leaving someone you've spent so much with with is hard, especially when you love them, and if they're a great partner in other ways, but you shouldn't have to put up with this behaviour full stop. Not even if 99% of the time he's perfect. This is abuse.

Get rid of the arrogant pr*ck!! Move on... and when you're good and ready, lose the weight for yourself, not him. You will look fabulous and he will have lost you. Go out there and find someone who truly deserves you and will love you no matter what. xxx

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. He should love and respect you for who you are, not just how you look. If he’s willing to call off the wedding over your weight, it speaks volumes about his priorities and values. He sounds seriously fucked up, cuddling you one minute and criticising you the next. This is emotional manipulation and he sounds controlling and coercive. I know you say it’s 15 years, but do you really want this for the next 15 years of your life? Sounds like he doesn’t appreciate the sacrifices you have made either. I know it’s so much easier said than done, but getting married will just make him worse. Call it off. Trust your gut. You do not need this in your life and he’s the one that is stressing you out the most! Tell everyone far and wide what he has been like. Unless you have a life threatening condition where you have to lose weight, he has no right telling you what to do with your body. Tell him you’re going to call it off unless his dick gets bigger. So sorry OP, have the wedding party with all your mates instead!

Do you honestly want to raise your children around a man who thinks it's ok to speak to his partner like this?!

Leave him, change the locks, get a good solicitor and tell his family exactly what's been going on.

You've stood by him, but he's pressured you into a job that makes you miserable for money, then given you ultimatums about your weight? Disgusting. What a vile man.

You are worth so much more, and your children will thrive not being raised by a misogynist.

It seems he is totally terrified of being married because it is a legal commitment in which he has to take responsibility for his behaviour. It gives you some control and legal backing, which he obviously doesn't want.
Call his bluff. You can reasonably tell everyone invited that the wedding is cancelled and why. As he has threatened to do it, preëmpt him. What a kick on the guts he has given you!

This is just the start, or maybe you've not noticed other comments during the 15 years. I put up with this sort of shit for 40 years, lost myself whilst working, doing most of the parenting and everything around thr house. But one day decided I had had enough and despite being scared I got out. Omg I so wish I had done it sooner. I shouldn't have waited for the kids to get older or things to get better I should have got out. My life couldn't be any more different and I couldn't be happier. Do not marry this man, you will regret giving him any more years of your life and you deserve so much more than a man who says this to you tgen thinks it's OK to cuddle up and pretend it never happened. It did and it will again.

I’m sorry. He knows he’s hurting you and wants you to break up so that he can be the victim. Leave him.

Why are you even considering marrying this abusive arsehole? It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, you’re just making it longer and suffering for longer if you stay.

Run, fast, don’t walk! There is no part of what you have written that isn’t a 🚩

This isn’t real surely?!

Leave him, you'll be better off without him. Never mind children, mortgage etc, you can do it!!

Ditch him! He doesn’t deserve you.

Do this and walk away. He’s a bully.

He doesn't love you enough, if at all, for you to pledge the rest of your life to him. He thinks it's fine to hurt you without any consequences. We can't see into the future but this situation is a fair insight.

There is something very nasty about his behaviour. I admire u for being brave enough to admit how much you love him but what does he really think of you?

What an appalling man.
Please do not marry him.
He is showing you massive disrespect

Walk away before it’s too late!
This man is not worth your tears.
imagine on your wedding day putting your dress on and not feeling like the beautiful bride as you will have his words swimming in the background.

Is this man such a good specimen of manhood? Has he got a six pack, a full head of hair, looks like a young George Clooney/Brad Pitt or whoever? If not then his comments about your weight are somewhat redundant.

I'd be throwing the whole man out!
You can do better than someone who disrespects you like this

Thank you.

That’s everyone else’s thoughts. But from what she’s written, I don’t think the OP will leave this man.

I’ve never responded to a Mumsnet post before but oh my gosh. Please leave him, he’s a pig and you deserve so much better x

Hi OP, wherever you are on this situation - and I know there is lots for you to consider -
please make sure you pull him up about his treatment re your size.
Whatever you chose to do moving forwards don’t let anyone treat you like that with photos and shaming. Don’t let niceness afterwards whitewash that sort of behaviour.
Perhaps it was a moment of madness and there are other issues at play and he is never normally like this (I hope so).
But you must take him to task on the photos and the ultimatum about losing weight before marriage. That really must be addressed. If you have a DD imagine how you’d feel if he’d been mean about her size and act the same way.

Surely you realise this is emotional abuse? Surely? I’m concerned at the amount of excuses you’re making for him. Taking your photo and zooming in and deliberately making you feel like shit? I can’t believe this is real, but if it is you cannot seriously be thinking of actually marrying this man?

you need a real answer why he doesn’t want to get married. Your weight is bullshit, if he didn’t want to marry a woman your size, he wouldn’t have asked you to marry him in the first place.

This is just so horrible and emotionally abusive. How dare he OP. I feel really sad for you. You deserve so much better than this. You really do. I know it’s easy for strangers to say LTB and it’s not that simple in real life. However I would not put up with this. You need to have a serious think about going ahead with this wedding.